Umberto’s idea is GREAT. He’s calling his channel Roll a Mile in My Shoes. It’s a vlog where viewers will follow Umberto around while he goes to the store, to the beach, to the doctors. To people who can walk, that might seem like an ordinary itinerary but when you’re in a wheelchair, there are lots of obstacles to overcome. Wearing a GoPro, Umberto will act as a tour guide for the viewer to see what it feels like to be in a wheelchair. Talk about virtual reality! We text Umberto our approvals.
Matt is torn between doing pranks or comedy skits. For once, Carly can’t decide what to do, going back and forth between an unboxing show or a news channel. Usually she’s the first one with a game plan but given the limitless possibilities she’s surprisingly stuck. But who am I to talk—I am too.
I shove my phone into my pocket and bury my face in Bodi’s fur. Instantly, my muscles relax.
I don’t know what I’d do without Bodi and Frank.
Hey … wait a minute! BODI AND FRANK. Most of the popular videos on YouTube feature ANIMALS.
I’m going to make Bodi and Frank YouTube stars!
A NEW DIRECTION
Kittens, puppies, hamsters, an angry badger … they’ve all had millions of views. I’ve got a dog and a MONKEY—not to mention the thousands of other animals that go in and out of my mom’s veterinary practice every year.
I’m sitting on a gold mine!
Matt goes nutty when he comes over that weekend.
“Your mom’s a vet!” he says. “You can showcase a different animal every day. Does your mom have any sick hyenas? ’Cuz that would be AWESOME.”
My mom, of course, would never in a billion years let me put any of her animal patients in my videos. I hate the thought of sneaking around her but we’re talking about a future career here! Matt and I spend the next hour dunking chips into artichoke dip and brainstorming what kinds of videos I can shoot with Bodi and Frank.
I’ve had Bodi since I was a toddler and he was a pup. He certainly is cute for a mutt. Frank, however, is a semi-trained capuchin who’s very photogenic. Bodi is gentle and friendly; Frank is a downright ham. Monkeys are a little more unpredictable than dogs, but they’re also a lot funnier and uncommon too.
“How about if I record my voice and drop the audio in behind footage of Frank sitting at the table?” I ask. “It’ll be like Frank is reading the news.”
Matt shakes his head. “You have a MONKEY! Why do you want to put him at a table reading? He should be skateboarding or jumping off the roof!”
Matt and I have had the Frank-skateboarding discussion a million times. My mom would ground me for the rest of my life if she knew how many times Matt and I wanted to skateboard with my capuchin.
“Skateboarding’s a no-go,” I say. “But how about if we SHAVE him? A bald monkey would be hilarious.”
“I thought the point was that your mom DIDN’T find out,” Matt says. “It would be fun to dye him with food coloring too but you’d still have the same problem.”
Mom and I have talked about how people sometimes “paint” their pets with polka dots or stripes using paint that’s not toxic, but Mom’s not a fan of using an animal as an easel. Pet shaving and painting are definitely out.
“How about if he smashes stuff?” I suggest. “He can wear safety goggles and a lab coat and break things with a hammer? Then we play the video back in slow motion?”
“I’d DEFINITELY watch that,” Matt answers. “Especially if he’s smashing something messy.”
“Like food?” I grab several handfuls of grapes from the bowl on the counter.
It takes Matt and me less than a minute to turn the fruit into a pile of green and red pulp.
“And that’s just with our fists,” Matt says. “Imagine what we could do with a mallet.”
I scoop up the squashed grapes from the counter and throw them into the sink. “Wait—who’s smashing things in the video? Me or Frank?”
Matt stops cleaning up and thinks. “Don’t get me wrong—I’d love to watch you smash things. But you’d probably get more views with Frank, right?”
As much as I’d like to be the one on camera getting all the attention and having all the fun, a video with Frank would definitely get more views.
Looks like it’s showtime for my capuchin.
BATHROOM BREAK
My dad’s been traveling a lot for work so it’s fun to have him home this week. He’s a storyboard artist in the movie industry and he’s been on location in Toronto for a film about a superhero acrobat. As he takes the lasagna out of the oven, he tells us stories about the shoot.
“There was a lot of tomfoolery on the set. The director had her hands full.” Dad puts the lasagna on the counter to cool. Judging by the amount of steam coming out of it, we’ll be eating dinner at midnight.
While we wait, we Skype Grammy in Boston. Mom likes to talk to her once a week and I do too. But Grammy’s hearing is starting to go, so the conversation ends up with the three of us in California screaming into a laptop to someone three thousand miles away. Grammy shares her plans for a luxury vacation she’s taking with two of her friends. I’m happy for her but in a while find myself staring at the lasagna and wondering if I’m going to have time to film Frank.
After we eat, I race to clean up the table then take Frank out of his crate. I’m hoping that Skyping Grammy doesn’t make Mom realize that we still haven’t scheduled that call with the woman from Frank’s foundation. I clip Frank into
