~Livvy~
I walk into the hotel I stayed at with John, with Alexander still on my mind. After everything that happened and the words he said during and after making love to me, it’s still hard to believe that he left. I wonder if John will know that I gave my virginity to a perfect stranger. Can people tell those things just by looking at you? Shit! I hope not or John and my mother will kill me.
I put my key into our door, but it doesn’t open so I try several more times. I knock but no one comes to open it, so I go back down to the front desk. The girl at the counter smiles and whispers to the other check-in girl and they laugh. I’ve only seen them a couple of times since we arrived four days ago and they have always ogled John, but I didn’t care. “I’m sorry, my key isn’t working. Could I get another one?”
“I’m sorry, you have already been checked out.”
“Oh...I didn’t get my things out of there yet. Could I go up and get them?”
“Your EX boyfriend brought them down and told us to tell you that he put them in the trash out back.”
The girl just smirks at me and points to a hallway that leads to the trash. This is just great. Now I know what my hesitation about John was. Along with his threats, his mean text and now this, he is definitely someone I wouldn’t waste any more of my time on. As I walk away, the first girl starts talking about how good John was in bed last night and she is looking forward to a repeat the next time he is in town. I was solidified in my decision about John before last night but her comments just erased any residual guilt I may have felt.
I find my suitcase by the trashcan and make my way to the street to find a cab. Arriving at the airport an hour and a half early for my flight affords me the time to change out of my sundress and put on a bra. Back into my normal clothes, I hold my head high and continue to my gate.
~Livvy~
“Hey, Buddy, you comin’ and bringing your girl?”
“I’m on my way but not with my girl. She bailed.”
“Well, I’m at the docks already and have four beach bunnies to help you take your mind off of your devastated ego.”
“I’m not sure that will do it, but I’m on my way.”
Boating is fun, although my mind is still on Livvy. Three of the girls keep flirting, trying to get my attention with no luck because I’m just not interested. I am nice but just not flirting back. Maybe I should. Maybe I should just take one of them below deck to the cuddy cabin to get my mind off of Livvy; maybe all three. Shit! Why does that feel like a betrayal? She’s the one who left without saying anything or leaving a note. My mind keeps playing through the night, trying to discover anything that would have offended or scared her, but she was right there with me. We were both fully invested in what we were doing. She didn’t seem like the type to use a guy and walk away, especially to just get rid of her virginity.
“Helllooooo. Earth to Play Boy.”
I blink and my brain comes back online. “Oh, sorry. What’s up?”
“These lovely ladies were asking if we would like to come back to their place for a barbecue.”
I would rather sit on the beach by the boardwalk and look like a sap, hoping she might go there again. I have five days left in Miami and I’m afraid I will spend the rest of my vacation searching for her in the crowds. What the hell is wrong with me? I have never acted like this over a woman before. I have never let myself want or need anyone. Why her? Why did I leave this morning without waking her up to tell her I would be right back? In a country with millions of people, how will I find the one perfect woman I’ve lost? “Yeah, a barbecue sounds nice,” I say resigned.
~Livvy~
The flight home was uneventful. John and I avoided each other like the plague. A clean break is what I call it and I don’t regret anything that took place, other than not having some kind of closure with Alexander. Not knowing is what drives a person crazy. Did I leave too soon? Did he leave with the thought of not coming back? Did he come back? I wish I had asked for his full name or where he lived. Does he live in Miami? If I go back there someday soon, will I see him?
My flight lands and I have to call my mother to pick me up because John didn’t even look my way. I guess having my virginity meant more to him than it did to me. I smile at the memory it brings.
“What are you so happy about?”
My mother is a very unhappy woman. Since my sperm donor father left her, she is never happy, so that basically meant my entire childhood. She is always so suspicious when I’m happy and makes accusations about why. “Nothing, Mother, John and I broke up, though.”
“Why, did you sleep with him and now he’s had enough of you?”
Most people would be offended by that comment, but I have lived with her snide remarks my whole life. “No, I didn’t sleep with him, but that is why he left me on the beach in Miami and then threw my suitcase in the trash
