“See, I told you; this is how all men are. You’re better off without them.”
How does this woman make it from day to day with such a chip on her shoulder? How did I survive my childhood without turning into the cynical, pessimistic person she is? Are we not products of our environment, or do genes play a role? If so, maybe I got the only good genes my father had. The rest of the ride is spent in silence. I will never tell her of Alexander because I would never hear the end of it. I just don’t understand why things turned out the way they did when the night was so perfect; he said the perfect things and did the perfect things, he is the perfect guy. Hopefully going back to work on Monday will reset me and all will be right in my world.
~Savage~
For the last five days of vacation in Miami, Tag wanted to kick my ass. I went to the beach boardwalk several times a day. Begged the vendor I watched her buy a dress from to give me any information, to no avail. I didn’t even have a picture of her to show people and ask, “Have you seen this woman?” I have resorted to being the crazy stalker that Tag accused me of being that first day. I just don’t understand what happened and that is driving me crazy. It kills me to think that maybe she thinks I left her with no possibility of coming back. What if she thinks I used her for sex? My God, she was an innocent. How horrible it must be to feel like you wasted your virginity on the wrong guy, or to feel like you were used. I’m pretty sure that is what her stupid ex-boyfriend was threatening her with and she walked away from him and right into my arms. Was I the rebound guy? That doesn’t make me feel any better either. It sucks to be the guy who won the lottery but couldn’t hang onto the winnings.
Chapter Seven
Search:
*try to find something by looking or otherwise seeking carefully and thoroughly. *examine a place, vehicle, or person thoroughly in order to find something or someone. *look for information in a database or the World Wide Web using a search engine.
~Livvy~
Tears roll down my face as I stare in shock at the two little pink lines. How could this be? How does this happen? Well, I know how, but why to me? Of all the people in the world that have a one-night stand, how many of them end up pregnant? What are the odds of a one night stand ending in pregnancy? Probably less than ending up with an STD.
I don’t know how I’m going to tell my mom. What will she think? She will think I lied to her about John and when I tell her the truth, she will think I’m a slut.
“Come on, Livvy. It’s not the end of the world. Women have babies all the time without the help of the father.”
Liz, my co-worker and best friend at the bar where I work, looks at me with pity even though her words suggest the opposite. “That may be true, Liz, but most people actually know more about the father of their baby. I don’t even know Alexander’s last name, career or location; good hell, that makes me sound so bad. I don’t have time for a baby, Liz. I take two classes in the morning and two at night, three days a week. I work here after closing until 2:00 a.m. four nights a week and that’s just to pay for books and tuition at Georgia State. When do I have time for a baby let alone have the means to be able to pay for one?”
“Won’t your mom help you out? Plus, George said next month, on your twenty-first birthday he will start training you to be a bartender. The money will come rolling in so you can afford to take classes during the day and work at night.”
“So when would I have time for a baby? My mom won’t help me. She is going to kick me out. Oh God, Liz, what am I going to do?”
“We will all help where we can, Livvy. We can call him or her our Bar Baby. All of us will just share responsibilities.”
She laughs like she thinks that idea is funny, but I’m pretty sure she is serious. I am in so much trouble. I have been looking forward to bartending so I can make more money, but not for the purpose of raising a child on my own. Sky blue eyes and soft dark hair flash in my mind and I know that I am keeping his baby. Maybe one day I will run into the mysterious Alexander and we can have a happy reunion. Ha, like that will ever happen. My luck doesn’t run that way.
That night, I lay on my bed with my laptop and search the name “Alexander.” The first thing that pops up is information on Alexander the Great. There are pictures, paintings, statues and many actors who played Alexander the Great. I must have scrolled through hundreds of pictures just hoping that maybe he had once been on the news or in a magazine and I would finally find him. I don’t even know where he lives, or I would probably search the phone book for all of the Alexander’s in there. I even thought about going back to Miami Beach Boardwalk and looking for him or his friend Tag. With nothing new to find, I close my computer and close my eyes. How long will it be before I start to show? Should I wait until then to tell my mom? Definitely yes!
~Savage~
Being back to work hasn’t calmed my obsession any. Everyday for weeks I have scanned numerous databases searching for the name Livvy in Miami to
