Let’s do it. Let’s hang out me and you! We are gettin’ a stretch from Kurt Cutter’s dad’s limo company for Prom, so I bet we would have room in there for you and who? WE NEED TO GET YOU A BOYFRIEND, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, NOW! By Prom time Stef will (fingers crossed) be fully goin’ out with someone amazing (can’t say who because it’s between us best friends and Stacey Simon), and you deserve someone awesome, too. I know you’ve always loved bein’ single and just hookin’ up, but college (and not college) is around the corner, Kath. Good time to change things up, right?
Consider this note a super kind gesture, and I mean it when I say let’s get you a boyfriend. K, girl?
W/B/S
Tara Murphy (likely Caparelli in the future)
Pam—
While I appreciate all the bags of gummy worms and sour cherries you continue to leave on my desks in every classroom, near my bag, and taped to my locker, I am going to be really honest with you. Please stop. I don’t want your candy. And please take your safe back. I keep giving it to you and you keep putting it in my backpack when I’m not looking. Stop that. I don’t want your candy, Pam, and I don’t want your safe! In fact, I don’t want anything from you. So you’re not surprised, I have asked for my lab table to be changed. Tomorrow, we will no longer share a desk. And if I have it my way, Pam, we will never again share a desk at South High.
I understand that you found a note on your side of our lab table. I don’t really understand you opening that note and reading it because it said “TO MATT” on it. I thought, when you gave it to me, that you were exactly the Pammy Shapiro I’ve always been friends with. The Pammy Shapiro I’ve always seen the best in. The Pammy Shapiro I loved and the Pammy Shapiro I truly believed could one day marry Joey McIntyre. But now . . . now I don’t think Joey Mac would like you because I bet a guy like him doesn’t like betrayers like you, Pam!
When you got stuck in the Lemon Squeeze at Macomber Day Camp, who told everyone to stop laughing and pointing? Me! Who ran and got a counselor to help you? Me! Who helped that counselor get you out of the Lemon Squeeze? I did, Pam. I can’t believe that camp lets kids walk through a crack in a boulder but they did, and you got stuck and I got you out.
And then there was the time we were playing four square and that asshole Andy Mackamolen threw the ball so hard in your face you got the wind knocked out of you and fell and broke your wrist. I was so mad I pushed Andy, and he punched me in the stomach. I got the wind knocked out of me, too. For you! And who was the first person to sign your cast? Me! And remember what I wrote, Pam? I do. “You’re awesome. Never forget that.”
I can’t believe you told people about the note! You have no idea about any of it, and here you go reading a note that friggin’ said “TO MATT” on the front, and then you tell people? You know how fucked up that is? You could have really messed up my life, Pam.
I never understood why people talk about other people. It’s just not how my mom and dad raised us. And after being with my brother over Thanksgiving break, I learned a lot about a lot. Not that I would share any of it with you because I don’t trust you anymore, Pam.
Next time you are thinking of raking someone over the coals, maybe think about that person first. That person has feelings just like you, Pam. If you were so curious about me and my life, why didn’t you just ask me, huh? This isn’t Tiger Beat, Pam.
I’m glad the gossip stopped. My brother and I even played street hockey with Chris and his friends, but I probably shouldn’t even be telling you that because I don’t know how you will spin it and pass that around. Anyway, what’s done is done. I hope you have a good life.
Matt Bloom
Um, hi Matt,
I waited down your street ’til exactly 8:30 P.M. Thanksgiving night. You never showed. And the heat in my Wagoneer broke so I was freezing, but good thing I keep my trunk stocked with a blanket (you know which one as we stargazed on it at Camel Lot), my parka, a scarf, and my old pair of Freaky Freezies. Gloves that change colors in the snow much like people who change WHEN it snows. TGID (Thank God It’s December), one month closer to getting the hell outta this tricky town. We live in Opposite World here. Up is down, left is right, and certain Freshmen behave like they’re not Freshmen.
Matt, I waited down your street and YOU NEVER SHOWED UP! I then left you message after message on your answering machine. 877-4267. I dialed that number so much I fear I’ll never forget it. And trust me, I want to forget it. Why wouldn’t I, Matt? You left me in a Thanksgiving Break Lurch!
What’s
