My Gramma Maureen used to tell me, “Tara, my Tara, you are special.” And you know what, Matt, had my Gramma Maureen lived to meet you she would have said the same of you. You are special, Matt. We are special. And this Joy Rebecca Bernstein (the most conceited Sophomore in the history of time) has some nerve playing you like a fiddle.
Matt, I hate to break this to you, but I bet you are already thinkin’ it—Joy is most likely involved in a sordid sexual entanglement with Marius Pontmercy. She’s Eponine, Matt! And we know what happens backstage. We’ve lived it. So wow, Joy gets a regional show and you support her and she goes and cheats on you?! She goes and has an affair with an actor who is not even close to bein’ as talented as you! No, I haven’t seen the production (like I would pay to see Joy Rebecca Bernstein butcher one of my most treasured theatrical roles, thanks but no thanks), but we know my instincts, and they are stronger than ever these days.
I am not gonna say I told you so, but Matt, I warned you about Joy. She is conniving and potentially evil. Oh my god, THIS TOWN!! Who put this place on the map? Who thought it was a good idea to invent a town where so many heartbreakers could coexist with people who just wanna love and be loved in kind? I’m tellin’ you, X’ing out days in my Month-At-A-Glance is gonna take on new meaning now, Matt.
So, you’re devastated. We know that. Are you eating? I am, but skippin’ some meals because of my heartbreaking news, which I will share with you but only at Camel Lot. I think we could use a good-friend trip there, Matt. We are all we have left. Well, and Stef, who is my cherry Life Saver.
I am absolutely crushed for you, my Matt. Heartsick. Talk to me. Let me into your broken heart. I’m not a nurse or a tailor, but I can stitch it back.
Always and forever,
Your Good Friend. Your Big Sister. Your once-was-somethin’-else and your possible-once-again-at-some-point-someone-else,
TARA MAUREEN MURPHY
Dear My Big Sis—
You are the best! Thank you so much for having my back, but I’m seriously fine. I mean it. I love Joy (right now just as a friend, but I do love her). I do not think she is having any kind of sordid thing with the guy playing Marius Pontmercy. I really don’t. She has always been really honest with me and I have always been really honest with her. Remember when the whole note thing happened? I know it’s a long time ago now, but just remember I told Joy the truth and she told me she and Marius kissed. Once. And she wasn’t into it. She really is just focusing on the last few weeks of Les Misérables, and I completely get it. Us actors need that concentration. You get that, right? Being an actress and all.
But thank you for having my back even though there’s nothing to have my back about. You’re the best!
I’m definitely here for you with whatever is going on. Are you okay? I guess you’ll tell me at Camel Lot. I will let you know when I have some time to go there with you.
You’re awesome,
Matt Bloom (your younger bro)
Sweet Soul-Crushed Matt,
Wow, your walls must be made of cinder block. I don’t own a decoder ring, but I don’t need one to crack what you’re really saying, Matt. Joy has destroyed you. You are feelin’ beyond repair. I hate this for you. I hate that she did this to you. Want me to confront her?
When can you go to Camel Lot?? Tell me ASAP!!
Your Protector,
Tara
Tara,
I can go to Camel Lot tomorrow after school. I look forward to hearing what’s going on with you, and I hope I can help in some way.
As for me, I swear to God I am happy and fine and great. I promise you I am being beyond honest. Please do not confront Joy. She’s amazing and I love her, but again, just as a friend right now. Everything for me is really, really good. The new things that have come into my life are incredible, and I feel truly grateful.
Matt
Matt,
You keep mentionin’ “new things” in your life. Can’t really imagine what “new thing” would be makin’ someone in your position so fine and happy.
Guess you’ll tell me at Camel Lot. Pick you up at the bottom of your street at sundown tomorrow.
And don’t you worry, time heals all wounds.
Truly,
Tara
Stef,
Thank you more than life for coming to Medi Mart with me last night. Q believe those pictures? Qwe believe this is real? And so it is . . . Christopher is having an affair with Kathy Connery, and now, Stef, now we have developed pictures that prove it.
I did exactly what you told me. Meditated on what to do. And I woke up in the middle of the night with my final decision.
I AM GOING TO
