She didn’t know what she was expecting from him. It wasn’t like he owed her. She only had herself to blame for thinking there was more between them.
“Come on. We’re both on fifth.” Riley nudged her and nodded at the elevators. “Give me that.”
“I can manage myself, you know?” She didn’t fight to keep her keycard. She was too tired to fight with him, not that it would make a difference in a few days.
“I know you can.”
Riley, Erin and Grant rode up to the fifth floor together. Erin wasn’t crazy about the booming silence between her them, but at least she wasn’t the only one with nothing to say.
Grant’s phone rang the moment they stepped off the elevator. He grimaced at the screen.
“I’ve got to take this.” Grant glanced at Riley. The worry creasing his brow was new. Different. “Give me a minute?”
“Sure thing. I’ll check Erin’s room.” Riley placed his hand on her shoulder.
Erin frowned at him but didn’t ask questions. Grant struck off without them while Riley matched stride with her. It wasn’t that she wanted to have a slow stroll with Riley, she just didn’t have it in her to walk faster. He guided her down the twisting halls. Again, neither spoke.
They’d lost the easiness they’d shared. They were nothing to one another now.
She should say something, but what? What was the point?
Riley was scared of screwing up, which she understood. She’d been there. She wanted to help him see that he couldn’t shoulder the blame for every loss. They couldn’t save everyone. He couldn’t take responsibility for every tragedy. And yet, if he couldn’t see that on his own, her arguing with him wasn’t going to help.
“Here you are.” He swiped her keycard and held the door for her.
“Did you check to see if it is safe?” Erin plodded into the lavishly appointed hotel room and squinted at all the lights and chrome. This place was fancy with a capital F. It was too much for just six hours of downtime.
“Here’s your bag. Food should be up soon.” He set the laptop bag down on the bed.
“You know it would probably hurt me less carrying that than you?” She turned and her heart quaked. Even looking at him was painful, yet she wanted to burn this moment into her mind. Remember how the lamplight made him seem ten times bigger than reality.
“It’s fine.”
She turned, fleeing to the other side of the room. Except he followed her all the way to the entrance of the room.
“Okay.” Erin peered into the bathroom at the huge soaker tub.
She could spend the next six hours in there, since she wasn’t likely to sleep.
It was time to start their series of goodbyes.
Tonight was the first.
When they reached Dallas, there’d be another.
Each one put a massive hole in the wall holding all those emotions in. When that structure went, she’d be a mess. She’d like a little privacy for that.
They stood at the door for several moments, neither reaching for the handle.
“I’ll be down the hall if you need anything.” Riley braced his hands on his hips.
Erin bit her lip. She couldn’t ask him to stay. She had to be her own person. She had to handle her own shit and stop leaning on Riley. She’d managed just fine before him, she’d be okay after him, even if it didn’t feel that way right now.
“Well, thanks for the escort.” Erin pasted on a smile.
Riley frowned at her, his brows drawn down into a line. Whatever he wanted to say, he kept to himself. He finally opened her door and let himself out.
She stared at the wood grain door and listened to the silence. Riley was gone. They were through. It was time to move on, and yet she didn’t want to. He reminded her to live, to want better for herself. And yet Riley didn’t see the same things were within reach for himself. He was stuck in the past. She couldn’t save him from that. He had to make the decision.
“Fuck this,” she muttered.
Erin paced to the other side of the room, following Riley’s earlier path. She stared out the windows onto the Frankfurt airport. The sun had set and the city lights threw off enough illumination it wouldn’t be truly dark in the room. She was surrounded by people.
She could do this. She could be alone.
A night by herself was inevitable. She couldn’t live attached to anyone’s hip. It was best she got this over with now. The sooner she nursed her broken heart over Riley, the sooner she could move on.
Erin walked into the bathroom and stood next to the tub.
A good, long soak would help with her knotted muscles so she could at least breathe with less pain. The rest of her was beyond help.
She got the water running, stoppered the tub and found a bottle of some froufrou smelling bubble bath to go with the opulent luxury of her surroundings. That done, she shed her clothes and pinned her hair up. With six hours to kill she could allot three to a bath, one to shower and the last two for aimless channel flipping and still be bored.
Erin climbed into the tub, hissing at the scalding temperature. She adjusted the settings until it was at a comfortable, almost boiling point then settled in. The first few minutes she couldn’t get comfortable. As the warmth seeped into her skin, her muscles relaxed and she drew her first easy breath in hours. The tension in her shoulders eased, and she slid farther down.
She’d overestimated her bubble needs. A good six inches of frothy, iridescent bubbles threatened to drown her. She cupped some in her hands and blew gently, watching the smaller ones take flight.
Mom used to make her take baths with her little sister. They were some of Erin’s earliest memories. Her sister loved to splash, and Erin hadn’t helped matters.
