Ash held up both hands. “I got what you meant. No worries.”
Carmen stood and picked up her handbag. “Sorry, I need to go.” Her face was now a deep shade of pink.
“Hey, are you okay? You seem a little…” Ash cast around for the right word. “Um, unsettled?”
Carmen’s blush spread to her neck, and her gaze darted away. “I’m fine. Honestly. Definitely fine. I’ll, um, call you. We’ll do Alma’s again, yes?”
Taken aback at Carmen’s almost sprint for the door, Ash barely had time to nod before she was gone, the bell above the door clanging.
Ash slumped back in her chair. What the hell was that about?
Chapter 15
“Thank you for coming over.” Carmen motioned Maggie into the house. “And thank you for working with my ridiculous timetable.” Her voice was at a higher pitch than normal, and she inwardly admonished herself to remain calm.
It was past ten on Monday night. Not exactly the most sociable of times for a visit, but Maggie hadn’t hesitated to agree when Carmen had called. It had finally dawned on Carmen late on Sunday that either Maggie or Tamsyn would be perfect to talk to about the situation with Ash, given they both knew exactly what it was like to be attracted to women. Tamsyn was out of town so Maggie was the lucky winner.
Despite the late hour Maggie, as always, looked fresh and relaxed. Her hair was pinned up in a loose ponytail, and she wore jeans and a white T-shirt.
“No problem.” Maggie squeezed Carmen’s arm. “Come on, Giz, in.”
The dog trotted into the house and waited patiently for Carmen to ruffle his ears and scratch under his chin.
“I could have left him at home, even though Tamsyn’s away, but I know you love him, so…”
“Oh yes, it’s fine to bring him. And I do love him.” And he helps to soothe my nerves. Her hands had lost some of their tremble as she petted the small dog. She straightened and smiled at Maggie. “Thank you.”
They walked through to the living room. Gizmo immediately flopped onto the floor beside the armchair, a place he always gravitated to whenever he visited.
Maggie sat on the sofa.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Carmen asked. It was polite, of course, but it would also delay her a little longer. Her heart raced at the prospect of what she needed to say.
“Do you have any camomile tea?”
“Coming right up.”
Deciding tea was probably the best idea for herself too, given the late hour and her all-over-the-place emotions, Carmen made a pot and carried it and two mugs on a tray back to the living room.
Maggie flicked through one of the trashy entertainment magazines that Carmen kept on the coffee table. “Do you actually read these?”
Carmen laughed. “Not read, no. But I need to keep up with what everyone has been seen doing. I’ve got entertainment news feeds on my laptop every morning too. It’s pretty tedious.”
“I bet!”
Carmen sat beside Maggie, the nerves still churning in her stomach. She reached over to the tea pot and poured before passing one mug to Maggie and leaving the other on the tray for herself.
“Thanks.” Maggie raised her mug in salute.
“No problem.”
Silence followed. Carmen knew she had to start the conversation, but had no idea how to do so.
“Carmen, are you okay?”
Carmen followed the line of Maggie’s gaze. Her hands clenched at the hem of her skirt. She had such a tight hold on the material her knuckles were white. She let go of her skirt with a loud exhale. “God, not really, no.”
“It’s not… You’re not ill, are you?”
Carmen met Maggie’s concerned gaze. “No, nothing like that. Don’t worry.” She ran a hand through her curls, then sat up a little straighter. Come on, you’ve told Felicity. Just spit it out. That was the whole point of asking Maggie over, after all. “Okay. Here’s the thing. I’m attracted to a woman, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Maggie shifted in her seat and folded her hands together in her lap. “Wow. That’s so far removed from what I expected from this late-night chat.” She smiled. “And now I need to know more. Details, please.”
Carmen reached for her tea, her hand trembling. After a couple of fortifying sips, she told Maggie all about Ash.
Maggie listened without interrupting, occasionally nodding and smiling but otherwise allowing Carmen to relate the tale at her own pace. “Well, she certainly sounds lovely,” she said once Carmen had finished her story. “And it does sound like she’s had quite the effect on you.”
“You don’t think it’s a bit odd? Me having an attraction to a woman this late in life? Don’t most people realise they’re gay or bi or whatever when they’re much younger?”
“Sexuality doesn’t come with a timetable.” Maggie tilted her head. “Just because the likes of me and Tamsyn realised ours thirty years ago is irrelevant.” Her eyes narrowed. “And just because you are attracted to Ash doesn’t mean you have to slap a new label on yourself that quickly if it doesn’t make you comfortable.”
“Okay.” Carmen exhaled and eased back in her seat.
Maggie put her tea mug down. “There are many people who discover much later in life that they’re attracted to someone of the same sex. Funnily enough, I read a couple of articles about this recently. Women who had always been with men, but then in their late thirties, early forties, and even later, they find themselves attracted to a woman.” She paused. “For some it’s hard to face up to. But just because we’re not teenagers anymore doesn’t mean we can’t go through big changes in our lives and our relationships with others. Sexuality is an evolving concept for many women.” She shrugged. “So you’re not alone, if that’s any consolation.”
Carmen swallowed. Hearing that did make a huge difference. “It is. Thanks.”
“I can send you links to these articles. It might help.”
“Yes, please.” Carmen took a deep breath. “So, um, what do I do about it
