And if she ever wanted the chance to find out how it would feel in reality, she knew what she had to do. Even if the thought scared her witless.
She breathed out slowly. For starters, she could make sure she had time to see Ash this week, before she went away. If she held back much longer, Ash probably wouldn’t contact her again. There were only so many times a person could be ignored before they gave up. And Ash was too good a person for Carmen to treat her that way.
No, she had to see her.
She flipped to the calendar on her laptop and scanned the week ahead, then picked up her phone.
Hi! Thank you for getting in touch. Sorry again for Friday. Hope you had a good weekend. How about meeting on Wednesday? I’m free from 10:30 to 11:30, if that works? And yes, I have checked my calendar this time! Would be great to see you.
The reply came about half an hour later, just as she grabbed her purse to head out and buy some lunch.
10:30 Wednesday is perfect. See you at our usual spot.
Chapter 24
Carmen hadn’t slept well Tuesday night, but that wasn’t a surprise. Nor did it surprise her that her stomach was in knots as she walked along the street leading to Alma’s. It was a hot day, and she was glad she’d worn a sleeveless silk blouse paired with linen trousers. The last thing I need is to turn up sweating like I’ve run a marathon.
Now only a block or so away, her heart decided to join her stomach in its cartwheel routine. Her pulse rate jumped to a level that couldn’t be healthy. She breathed deeply and slowly to try to restore some semblance of calm.
She crossed the last junction and looked towards the café.
Ash waited for her at their usual table. She threw Carmen a beautiful smile, and Carmen’s steps faltered. My God, how does she do this to me?
Eventually reaching the table, Carmen pulled out a chair and gratefully sank into it. “Hi.”
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m actually very well.” Carmen grinned as Ash clutched both hands to her chest. “I know, I know. But I have good news about my workload, you’ll be pleased to hear. No more complaining from me!”
“I’m pleased. About the workload, I mean. I would never suggest you’ve been complaining.” Ash faked an innocent look, but her eyes twinkled.
“Ha ha.” Carmen willed her heart to slow. Ash looked adorable, and it was making her tongue-tied. “How’s life at the studio? And how’s Sophie?”
“How about we get some coffee, and then I can fill you in?”
“Oh! Yes, of course. Sorry.” Carmen smiled sheepishly. She stood just as Ash did.
“No, I’ve got this.” Ash waved Carmen back into her seat.
“You sure?”
“I am. I did eat your last pastry, after all.”
She winked, and Carmen’s insides fluttered for an entirely different reason than nerves.
When Ash returned a few minutes later, a tray in her hands, Carmen had just about talked herself into a more normal state of pulse and breathing. It hadn’t been easy.
Ash passed her a coffee and a plate with a pastry, laid her own on the table, then headed back inside the café to return the tray. Once she’d sat down again, she leaned forward. “So, in answer to your questions, the studio is great. Really busy this week, which I love. And Sophie is brilliant. She came out to her best friend, Trina, and it went very well.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!”
“It is. I never doubted Trina, but it’s always so hard to know how anyone is going to react when it comes down to it.”
Carmen shivered, despite the warm weather. Yes, I think Sophie and I have a lot in common these days. So far, having only told Felicity, Tamsyn, and Maggie about her attraction for the woman sitting opposite her, she knew she’d been fortunate to have such good reactions from them all. How would she feel if it had gone differently? If she had a Courtney in her life? Well, actually you do—there’s still Mother to think about . But maybe not in this decade.
“Are you okay?”
Carmen’s gaze drifted back to focus on Ash. “Sorry, what?”
“You zoned out there. Is everything okay?”
Her cheeks burning, Carmen reached for her coffee to give herself a moment. “Oh, yes, fine. Just a few things on my mind, but all good. Trust me.”
“Okay.” Ash drank her own coffee, then took a big bite out of her pastry.
“So, are you all set for Friday? Packed already?” Yes, let’s talk about something other than people’s sexualities and coming-out processes.
“Not quite packed, but there are piles of clothes and stuff everywhere in the flat.” Ash laughed. “I like to lay it all out beforehand, then do a final inventory to make sure I’ve got everything. It’ll all get packed up tomorrow night.”
“It’s so exciting. And I’m so jealous!”
“I can always try to squeeze you into one of my suitcases.” Ash tapped her chin, her eyes sparkling.
Oh God, don’t tempt me . Carmen’s knees shook at the thought of being alone with Ash for three whole weeks. Fearing she was blushing profusely again, she attempted a chuckle, which came out more like a choking sound. She covered that—she hoped—by eating the last of her pastry.
“I’ll miss these when I’m gone.” Ash gestured with her last morsel of pastry before popping it into her mouth.
“We’ll have to meet up as soon as you’re back so you can get your fix.” Thankfully, her voice sounded close to normal.
Ash nodded. “I like that plan.” Her smile was warm and genuine, and Carmen melted all over again.
This is getting out of control. A small part of her was tempted to just tell Ash how she felt, to hell with the consequences. The rest of her thought she was mad to even consider it. But
