“And you believed her.”
“She told me you were spending time with other women. She showed me a picture of you and Evie. It was clear you two were close.” I sank into the nearest chair.
“I told you about me and Evie.”
“Recently, but back then—”
“You could have asked.”
“I could have,” I admitted. “I was a twenty-one-year-old girl from a regular family, swept up by you.” I looked up at him. “I thought you were too good to be true. I was afraid to take the risk that your mom was right. How would I get home if it didn’t work out?”
“And when you found out you were pregnant?” He crossed his arms looking down on me with harsh eyes.
“I told you. I went to your mom and she said you never mentioned me and so I couldn’t be important. You had a future that couldn’t be ruined by the likes of me. She offered me money to go away.”
“Fuck.” He turned away. I hoped his reaction meant that he believed me. “What about when we met up again? You could have told me then.”
“I should have. My reasoning for not telling you made sense at the time—”
“Like what?” he demanded. “What possible excuse is reasonable to keep me from knowing I’m a father.”
“Protecting Andrew.”
“From me?”
“From your mother. And I was afraid I’d lose him. I was going to tell you, Devin. I really was. I was just too late. I know there is nothing I can say or do that will have you forgive me, but I need you to know—”
“Need me to know? Now you have something I need to know.”
I looked down, because he was right. I was offering too little, too late. Finally, I stood and moved to stand in front of him. I’d say this looking into his hurt, sad, angry green eyes.
“I love you.”
He scoffed. “Excuse me if I don’t believe you.”
I nodded, knowing I had to accept that.
“I have to leave,” he said.
“Andrew,” I called out.
Andrew ran through the kitchen door.
“Dev—your dad has to go.”
Devin squatted down Andrew’s level. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll do something fun.”
“’Kay. Bye Daddy.” He hugged Devin.
When Devin left, I sent Andrew back into the kitchen because I needed a minute to pull myself together.
My father exited the kitchen and came to me. “I’m sorry, honey. I thought you’d told him at lunch.”
“I messed up, Dad.” I sank down on the couch and cried.
He sat next to me, taking me into his arms. “Yes, you did. But, there’s time. He’ll come around.”
I shook my head. “No. He hates me. I don’t blame him.”
“It’s raw pain right now, but over time, that will lessen. He’ll see the good woman in you. The great mom you are.”
I couldn’t see how. There was no way he could look at me and not see a deception of the worst kind.
“In the meantime, we’ll help you get a lawyer.”
“Dad—”
“Devin is a smart man. He’ll get one so he can protect his rights. You’ll want one too. You’ll need to set up a custody agreement and visits.”
He was right.
“I’m sorry to put you through this. I must be a disappointment—”
“Knock it off, Serena.” He gave me a shake. “Your mother and I are so proud of the woman you are. You’re a wonderful mother. You made a mistake, a mistake that was easy to make under the circumstances. Now we move on.”
I clung to him. “I love you, Dad.”
He kissed my head. “I love you too, honey.”
That night, Andrew was loaded with questions about Devin. How did we meet? Why didn’t he know about him? Why did I keep it a secret? What was his house like? On and on. I did my best to answer questions in a positive way, even though I really wanted to throw Devin’s mom under the bus. Granted, not telling Devin was on me, but she’d been a part of it too. Would he confront her on that? Did he even believe me?
Together we packed a bag of his favorite books and toys. I packed his clothes, choosing the newest, nicest options to avoid being judged by his family. Too late for that, I told myself as I closed his bag.
As I lay in bed, I prayed that Devin’s mother didn’t take her dislike of me out on Andrew. My mother had said she wouldn’t. That she’d see Andrew as an extension of Devin, but I wasn’t so sure of that. When I told her I was carrying Devin’s child, she’d offered me money to go away.
I had to trust that Devin would look after Andrew. Not just his physical care, but protect him emotionally from his mother if necessary.
24
Devin
I don’t remember getting from the Moore’s apartment to outside. For a time, I stood on the sidewalk wondering where I was and what was happening. Slowly, it came back to me. I’d sent Doug home thinking I might stay with Serena. Serena who all this time knew I was Andrew’s father. She’d hid him from me and then never told me about my relationship to him.
I pressed my hand over my chest as the pain from that pierced my heart again. I was a fucking moron to not have seen who she was. The signs were there. I’d known practically from the beginning that she was hiding something, and what did I do? I went and fucking fell in love with her.
All of a sudden, an arranged marriage with Evie sounded appealing. At least she and I were friends. I trusted her. And even if she lied, I wouldn’t have the heartbreak I had now.
And what the hell was it she said about my mother? My mother was just elitist enough to do what Serena accused her of, and yet at the same time, I couldn’t trust one thing Serena said.
Needing some time to sort out the
