Before I headed home, I decided to pick up my things and maybe see Maisie since I was in town. Pulling myself together, I headed back to Dylan’s.
I parked in the driveway and was barely out of the car before Maisie was rushing over from my old house.
“Tessa!” She launched herself into my arms. “You’re home! I’ve been waiting for you.”
Corrine followed her over. “Sorry. She’s fast.”
I held Maisie close. I was going to miss this kid. “Hey, honey. Did you have fun with Corrine?”
“Yes. I showed her how to make big bubbles.”
“I bet she loved that.”
“Since you’re home—” Corrine started.
“Actually, I can’t stay. I’m just grabbing a few things and heading back to my parents.”
She quirked a brow. “Everything all right?”
“Just some things going on at home.” That wasn’t a lie, even if she thought I meant at my parents’ home instead of here.
“You have to go?” Maisie’s face dropped. She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Don’t go, Tessa.”
I squeezed her tight, feeling like a heel for messing things up so badly for us. “I’m sorry honey, but I have to.”
“When will you be back?”
“I … don’t know.”
“Come on Maisie, let’s go make that picture you said you wanted to color for your dad.”
“Can you come too?” Maisie’s little eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry, Mais, I can’t.”
Her lip quivered. “Don’t you want to be with us anymore?”
How was it possible my heart could break even more? “Oh honey, I do. I want to be with you always. I just can’t right now.” I squeezed her tight again and kissed her cheek. “I love you baby. Don’t forget that, okay?”
“Okay.”
She looked so sad as Corrine led her back over to her place. This was all my fault.
I entered the house and went to Dylan’s bedroom to pack up the rest of my clothes. I hadn’t brought a suitcase, so I used large garbage bags. It was a little sad how all my stuff fit in a couple of plastic bags. I loaded them into the back of my car. I took out Maisie’s booster seat and left it in the living room. The next babysitter would need it. I was jealous of her being with Maisie and Dylan already.
Two hours later, I was back in Brooklyn and parking at my parents’ home. My dad was working, but Mom was home in her sunroom, painting.
When she first turned to see me, she was smiling, but the minute she saw me, her face dropped. “What happened? Did the judge order against Dylan?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I left early.”
She frowned, until I burst into tears. “Tessa, what is it?” She dropped her paintbrush and rushed to me, wrapping me in her arms.
“I’ve messed everything up.”
Thirty minutes later, I’d told her everything, except that the marriage was fake. If she was interviewed by the court, I didn’t want to put her into a position that she needed to consider lying.
“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell him about the baby.” She held me as we sat on the couch.
“He said he didn’t want more kids … I know that’s dumb and not a good reason. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Do you love him?”
I looked up at her. “Yes. More than anything.”
“If he loves you too, it seems like this is something he can forgive you for.”
I rested my head back against her shoulder. “He’s not a very forgiving sort.”
“So, he’s willing to sacrifice the love of a good woman and hurt his child because he’s not a forgiving sort?”
“I think he had a difficult childhood and then everything with his ex … I don’t think he trusts others … or even himself. It’s him and Maisie against the world.” I gave a soft laugh. “It was one of the things that made me love him.”
“That he’s damaged from his childhood?” My mother gave a tsking sound.
“No, the him and Maisie against the world. You saw him at the wedding, Mom. He’s devoted to her. For all his faults, his utter devotion to Maisie isn’t one.”
“Fathers who love their children are attractive, but so are men who love their wives. Marriage isn’t easy, Tessa. As big and tough as Dylan looks, it seems he’s weak on standing by his wife.”
“I hurt him.”
“And he never hurt you?” She looked down on me with sharp eyes.
I turned away, not able to let her know just how many times Dylan had hurt me. I’d let it go, because while his words had hurt, they weren’t unexpected. He’d been honest about his feelings and intentions from the beginning. I was the one who had lied.
“Tessa.” My mother gave me a little nudge until I did look at her. “Have you and Dylan talked … I mean really talked about all this?”
I shook my head. “Not since he called and told me he found out.”
“Today at the courthouse, you didn’t talk?”
“No.” I held back the information about the lawyer handing me some sort of paperwork regarding Dylan’s parental rights to the baby.
“In the twenty-five years I’ve been married, the only time your dad and I have had trouble was when we didn’t talk. At the time, withholding information seemed like a good idea. We didn’t want to make waves or hurt the other person. Maybe we were afraid the other would get mad, but in the end, things were worse.”
“What is there to say, Mom?”
“How about how you love him and his daughter? How about how you feel to have his child growing inside you? How about why you didn’t say anything right away and how you regret that? Just tell the truth and how you feel.”
I understood what she was saying, but I couldn’t imagine how it would change anything.
“Then he needs to tell you what he’s feeling, and eventually, you will come to an understanding. Maybe that means you don’t stay a family, but once
