My heart stopped as anticipation filled me.
“I do believe Mrs. Baskin loves her child and could provide a loving, stable home.”
Wait, what?
“But at this time, the child, Maisie Hyatt, will remain in full legal and physical custody of Mr. Hyatt—”
Yes!
“No, your honor—” Veronica cried out.
“With regular visitations with Mrs. Baskin. The Baskins are ordered to surrender the passport they have of Maisie Hyatt, and for six months, visitations will be supervised to ensure there is no attempt to leave the country with her.”
Veronica started to cry.
“In six months, we’ll meet again and can reassess the situation. However, Mrs. Baskin, I suggest you consider amending your request to joint custody. Court is adjourned.” She banged the gavel.
I sat in stunned silence, while around me Leo barked out obscenities, Veronica cried, and my lawyer patted me on the back.
I won. So why did I feel like I’d also lost? Because after all this, the one person who’d believed in me and had stuck by me wasn’t here to share the victory.
I cursed at myself for letting my situation with Tessa get in the way of my victory. This all started by wanting to keep Maisie, and now I had won. That’s what mattered.
“I’ve got to get home.” I shot up from my chair.
“Give your daughter a hug. And fix things with your wife,” my lawyer said.
When I arrived home, I swung Maisie around and held her so tight. I had the same feeling I’d had when she was born. Like I was given a chance to be a better man. To make a difference in my child’s life.
“Daddy, you're crazy.”
I remembered that she hadn’t known her mom and I were in court, so to her, it was just another day.
“I’m just so happy to see you.”
She looked at me but I didn’t see the happiness I’d have liked.
“What’s wrong honey?”
“Tessa came home and then left again. Why won’t she stay with us, Daddy? I miss her.”
“What did she say?” I asked.
“She has to be with her family.”
“Well then, that’s what she has to do,” I said.
“But we’re her family, daddy. Make her come home.”
I closed my eyes as guilt rose. I needed to tell her the truth: that Tessa and I were done. But today, I just wanted to celebrate finally getting what I’d wanted; Maisie would stay with me. That’s all that mattered. If only my heart would agree.
27
Tessa
I lay down to rest, and when I woke, I saw a text from Dylan’s lawyer saying that Dylan had custody for now. We won. I wanted to be happy about that, but it was hard with the weight of everything else hanging over me. I did manage to text Dylan that I’d heard what had happened, and congratulated him. I reminded him of the sonogram appointment, but didn’t say anything about the paperwork his lawyer gave me or that I anticipated he’d divorce me.
The following week, I drove to my appointment thinking about how to proceed with my life. My parents said I could stay with them as long as I needed, and my mother even recommended a doctor in Brooklyn. Finishing graduate school was out until after the baby was born, but I could find work and a place to live near Dylan so that we could share the responsibility of the baby.
I was in the waiting room filling out the paperwork when Dylan entered. My heart swelled and then broke at the sight of him. I wanted so badly to hug him and tell him I loved him, but I knew I couldn’t.
His expression was impassive, which I decided was better than angry.
“Thank you for coming,” I said when he sat next to me.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“No, of course not.” I wanted to ask how he was. How Maisie was. But all the words were lost in my throat.
We were called in to the examination room for the sonogram, which broke the awkward silence. I lay on the bed as the woman performing the test talked us through the procedure.
She squirted some heated gel on my belly and then used a wand to rub over my belly. I cast a glance to Dylan, whose eyes were on the screen.
I looked at the screen too, but couldn’t discern anything.
“Ah … there it is,” the technician said. She pointed to a fluttering on the screen. “That’s the heartbeat.”
Emotion welled through me like a tidal wave, and I gasped at the power of it. Tears came to my eyes, and I was transfixed. There was a life inside me.
“I’m going to take some measurements so we can see about getting a better idea of how far along you are.”
“Can we hear the heartbeat?” Dylan asked.
I looked to him, wondering if he was feeling all this emotion as I was. I couldn’t read his expression. I decided he’d been through this before, so it probably wasn’t the same. In fact, it might be a burden. With Maisie, he and Veronica had still been in a happy phase of their life. This moment probably didn’t have the same joy and awe as it did for him with Maisie.
I turned back to the screen, not wanting to see his lack of emotion.
“Yes. Here.” She pressed a button, and the steady sound of thumping echoed in the room.
My breath hitched. “Oh God.” Tears ran down my face.
The technician smiled. “That’s your baby.”
I was filled with such awe, and at the same time, sadness. I wished I’d invited my mom to come, because even with Dylan there, I felt so alone.
“It’s beautiful,” I managed.
“Would you like a picture?” the technician asked.
“Yes, please.”
“Can we have two?” Dylan asked.
“Sure.”
When the appointment was over, I didn’t want to leave. I could have stayed watching my baby inside my womb all day.
Dylan walked me outside, but neither of us said anything until we reached my car.
“Where are you living?”
“I’m at my parents’ right now. I’m looking at finding a job and a place to
