I wondered if Brayden would be okay with that. He didn’t like to spend money frivolously, but it didn’t seem to me that using money so I could spend as much time as possible with the kids was frivolous.
A part of me felt I was being unfair to him. If he was still the man I married, he’d never cheat and he’d want to give me the world. So why did I think he wasn’t that man anymore?
Don’t try to make yourself feel better by accusing me of abandoning this marriage when it’s your doing.
His words, spoken in anger, came back to me. I wouldn’t have said I’d abandoned the marriage. He’d drifted away, focusing on work. I resented that and gave up trying anymore. But his words made me realize he’d done the same. He blamed me for our drifting apart and, until the other day, he’d given up trying to bridge the distance.
If this cancer was going to take me, I wanted to live life to the fullest, and to give my children all the love and security I could offer. That meant I needed to find a way back to Brayden. I wasn’t sure if we could get back what we had, but we could at least give the kids a happy home. I didn’t want them to remember me as being an unhappy wife, or tension between their parents.
I checked my watch and I realized, it was time to head back to the real world. I needed to pick up the kids and get them settled at home. Brayden had scheduled a date night for us, but I wasn’t sure that was still on after the way I’d run off this afternoon. If he came home at a decent hour and was still willing, we would go on that date even if he was pissed at me. At the very least we needed to talk about how to prepare the kids for my illness, as well as what could happen if the cancer spread.
13
Brayden
What did she say?
I stood paralyzed and speechless as the last few minutes replayed in my head. She accused me of cheating on her. I accused her of not giving a damn if I was.
I have stage three breast cancer.
I knew nothing about stages, but the word cancer sent a cold chill through me. Cancer. The word broke through my stupor. Cancer…Jesus, she had cancer.
I looked to where she’d just been standing but she was gone. I rushed out the door after her, cursing myself for being so dense and letting her escape.
“Where is she?” I called to Johanna who was sitting at her desk.
“She went into the elevator.”
I ran like a madman poking the button like it would somehow immediately open if I poked it enough.
“Fuck.” I wasn’t prone to swearing on the job, at least in front of my staff. Right now, I didn’t care.
“Mr. Burrow? Is everything alright?” Johanna asked.
I had to catch Terra and find out what the hell was going on. People survived cancer, right? Was stage three the treatable type?
“Mr. Burrow?”
I turned as Johanna approached me.
“Is there something you need?” She studied me. “I went ahead and broke down that data, but…is everything okay with you and Mrs. Burrow?”
Not if she was dying…it wasn’t. Why the hell had I been such an ass? How long had we been disconnected? A year? Two? Had I wasted all that time?
“Hey, Bray, I need to get with you on the cloud project,” Kyle said exiting the elevator door that finally opened. “A bug. I think it’s easily fixable, but you need to take a look.”
Johanna and Kyle waited for me to answer.
“What’s going on?” Kyle asked.
“I think something happened between him and Mrs. Burrow,” Johanna said, talking like I wasn’t there. The truth was, I wasn’t all there.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“I’ll just put these on your desk.” Johanna left us alone.
“Listen, I know Terra has been on you about being gone a lot and you want to spend more time at home, but this bug needs to be addressed. You know how it is when we get close to beta testing and release.”
I nodded.
“Should we go into your office?”
I started toward my office, but then stopped. What the fuck was I doing? Bug or not, I wasn’t going to waste another minute away from Terra. Estranged or not, I loved her and the thought of losing her was something I couldn’t bear.
“I’ve got to find Terra,” I said, turning back to the elevator.
“This won’t take long.”
“You deal with it. I trust you.” Thankfully the elevator was quick in its arrival. I rode down and rushed out to the parking lot. I didn’t see her or her car. She must think the worst of me. No good husband would have let the love of his life get away after sharing such news.
I ran to my car, and drove like a maniac toward home. It was a miracle I didn’t get in an accident or a ticket. I barely turned off the engine before I was out of the car and running into the house.
“Terra!”
The quiet in the house heightened my panic. She looked fine in my office, but maybe she was really sick. Had she gone to the hospital? Had I lost her already?
My rational mind said to calm down and look for the most likely answer, such as she was picking up the kids. But my heart was racing from fear. I hadn’t told her I loved her since…when? I think I mentioned it the other day, but I wasn’t sure. Fuck!
The door from the garage opened. I rushed to it and thanked God when she entered the kitchen. Running on adrenaline and panic, I moved to her wanting to hold her.
She held a
