“How many?” I asked, feeling that twinge of jealousy that other men had once touched her.
She looked up at me, and I could see mischief in her eyes. She held up a hand. “Let’s see…one…two…three…”
“Stop. You’re killing me.” I gave her a squeeze.
“You asked.”
“Did you ever think of tossing me back?” The minute I said it I regretted it because clearly she had when she spoke to a divorce lawyer.
“No. I knew almost from the minute I saw you that you were a keeper.”
“Are you sure?”
She looked up at me. “I broke the rules at work to have you.”
I kissed her nose. “I wanted you from first look too. I nearly quit because of those rules.” We sat in silence as we watched our children play. Our love created them, I thought. Sure, many kids, myself included, were conceived from an emotionless sex act, but my kids weren’t. Each time Terra made love to get pregnant, I felt the miracle of what we were doing. Of what our love was creating. This was another part of my life that I wasn’t cherishing enough.
The kids played until they were worn out.
“How about ice cream?” I said as I helped clip Noah’s seatbelt on his booster in the car.
“Yay!” Lanie shouted.
“I can show you where I convinced your mom to marry me.”
“Will there be kissing?” Lanie said with a distasteful tone. “I don’t want kissing.”
I bit back a laugh as I looked at Terra who had an amused smile.
“I can’t promise no kissing,” I said. “Sometimes I can’t help it.”
“Kissing monster,” Lanie groaned. “Noah, do you like the kissing monster?”
I looked back through the rear-view mirror at Noah to see his reaction.
He shrugged. “It’s alright.”
As I drove out of the park, I spoke in a low voice to Terra. “Do you like the kissing monster?”
She turned to me. “Yes, I think I do.”
I pulled her hand up to my lips to kiss it. In the back, Lanie groaned again.
“Someday you’ll like kissing,” Terra said.
I frowned. “Not my little girl. No boys will be kissing her.”
Terra shook her head and laughed at me, but then a sadness crossed her face. “I hope I see that.”
My heart broke. “You will.” I gripped her hand, willing her cancer to wither and die, and leave Terra to live a long happy life with me.
We rode in silence until we reached the ice cream shop well-known for crafting its own iced desserts and where I asked her to marry me. We got the kids out of the car and went into the shop.
As we stood in line, I leaned over to Terra. “I’d marry you again in an instant.”
She turned to me. “Me too.” Her eyes were filled with love and I knew she was also thinking of the night I’d proposed to her. It hadn’t been flashy or overly romantic, and yet, it had felt perfect for us. That day, she’d agreed not only to spend her life with me, but also build a business as well. I remembered thinking we’d achieve a perfect life. Our love was solid. Our goals were in line. How had we lost that?
I pushed our problems away and focused on the fact that we were back on track. Life was as it should be. And when Terra beat this cancer, we’d finally have our happily ever after.
18
Terra
It was harder than I wanted to keep the thoughts about cancer at bay. I’d wanted a perfect day with my family before everything changed, but every now and then, reminders of my illness would filter in. Like when Brayden said no boys would ever kiss Lanie. It made me think of her being older and wondering if I’d be here when she had her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak. Would I attend her wedding or hold her child?
I shook those thoughts away as we arrived at the ice cream shop. We’d been coming here since he proposed all those years ago, but it had been a while. I wondered if his coming back here was to help solidify our refound connection.
As we waited in line, I looked around the place. It hadn’t changed much. Only new flavors were different.
“I’d marry you again in an instant,” Brayden whispered to me.
I looked up at him, feeling all the love I had when he asked me to marry him. “Me too.”
I felt uneasy as Brayden ordered our ice cream cones. We’d been dating on the downlow so as not to get fired for nearly a year. In fact, his one-year work anniversary had been earlier in the week. But something was bothering him or making him nervous, and I had a fear that he was done with me. Why else bring me to an ice cream shop in the middle of the day near our one-year anniversary, when we could have been hiking or planning a night on the town and a longer night of sex?
We sat at an outside table with a view of Puget Sound.
“Nice day.”
Inwardly I groaned. If he was about to dump me, just get on with it. Small talk was only making it worse.
“Yes.”
“Look over there.” He pointed across the Sound. “What’s that?”
I turned to look where he was pointing. I didn’t see anything unusual. I looked closely in case an orca or something was swimming by.
“What?”
“Hmm…it’s gone.”
I looked at him, wondering what the heck was going on. I knew he had a difficult week. Lyle McClean, who’d been hired at the same time in a position just above Brayden, had once again messed things up for him. Six months ago, Brayden complained to me that Lyle had rejected an idea of his and then turned around and presented it as his own. He couldn’t prove it, but from that moment on, Brayden’s work habits changed. He worked more evenings at home and kept his ideas closer to the vest, which ended up earning him lower marks for being a team player from Lyle.
Maybe
