They stayed like that for a precious moment, and Olivia relished every second of it.
She was alive. Jake was here, and she was okay. Well, maybe okay was a bit of a stretch.
She hurt like hell and knew that when she actually allowed herself to really think about all that had happened, she’d probably break down into a total mess.
For now, though, Olivia was determined to remain focused on how lucky she was to be alive and to have the man she loved by her side.
A trickle of doubt starting creeping its way in. Did she still have him? He’d saved her life, but that didn’t mean he still wanted to be with her.
Jake would never allow anyone to suffer unjustly if he was able to prevent it. It’s who he was. And she’d walked out on him. Just left without giving him the chance to explain.
An image of Jake’s tortured face hit her so hard she had to close her eyes, again. In her mind, she saw Jake looking at her and crying like he was now. Except there was no joy in his eyes. No relief. Only misery.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Jake’s question snapped her back to the present, his brow creased with concern. “Are you hurting? I’ll go get the nurse and tell her you need more pain medicine.”
“N-need to t-talk.” She was trying to tell him they needed to talk, but she couldn’t get much out past her scratchy voice.
Jake reached over to the plastic pitcher sitting on the tray next to him. He filled the insulated cup next to it and secured the lid. Sliding the bendable straw between her lips, he held the cup steady for her.
The cool water felt amazing on her dessert-dry throat.
When she was finished, he returned the cup to the tray before getting up and turning to leave the room. Olivia saw him wiping away his tears as he walked. She had to stop him.
Yes, she hurt, but she needed to tell him before the nurse came back in. Whatever they were giving her was sure to put her back to sleep, and Olivia couldn’t bear the thought of Jake spending one more second thinking she didn’t still want to be with him.
“I couldn’t...let him...hurt you,” she rasped.
He froze when he heard her broken sentence. Spinning back around, Jake looked at her questioningly.
“What? What do you mean, sweetheart? Couldn’t let who hurt me?”
Olivia swallowed, her throat still feeling dry. She had to get through this. “C-Cetro.”
Jake took a tentative step back toward her, his expression a mixture of confusion and...fear? “What do you mean you couldn’t let him hurt me?”
“I tried to f-fight him off...when he came to my house. But he...” She swallowed again. “He was too strong.” A tear slipped from the corner of her eye down to her pillow.
“I know you fought, baby. I saw your house.” A muscle in that strong jaw of his bulged. “There was never any doubt that you gave him hell. But what did you mean about him hurting me? Besides the obvious.”
Jake glanced at her broken arm before zeroing in on her bruised face. His eyes darkened with sorrow. “I didn’t think I’d survive it...knowing he had you again.”
Olivia shook her head, immediately regretting it. She had to get through this. He needed to understand.
“I’m talking about...after. When I tried to run. He told me to get up...and walk to the barn. I told him to go to hell. I didn’t know exactly what he had p-planned, but I knew it couldn’t be good. So...I refused. I told him...just to kill me, right then. He said”—she paused, licking her dry, cracked lips—“he said if I didn’t go in there willingly that he’d find you.”
Jake’s eyes widening with horror and disbelief. “No.”
Olivia knew Jake was going to be royally pissed at what she was about to tell him, but it didn’t matter.
She had to make him understand that she truly understood why he did what he did. This was the only way she knew how to do that.
“H-he said if I fought him anymore...he’d go after you and your team...when he was done with m-me.”
“No.” Jake’s eyes filled as he emphatically shook his head.
“He swore if I stopped...trying to run, it would end...with me. He promised...he’d leave you...and the others, alone.”
“No!”
Jake took a step forward. He was mad, but his eyes held something besides just anger. Tears were streaming down his face, again, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say you went into that place and let him torture you to try to save me! Tell me you didn’t do that, Liv. Swear to me that’s not what happened.”
“H-had to.”
His face nearly crumpled with obvious pain and guilt. “Jesus, Liv, he was lying! A man like Cetro can’t be trusted any farther than you could throw him!”
Jake ran a frustrated hand through his hair and swore. “It wouldn’t have mattered what you let him do to you, that bastard still would have come after me. But you still...after what I did to you? Why, baby? Why would you do that?”
Through her own tears, she quickly finished what she was desperately trying to say.
“I had to, Jake,” she said, her voice breaking. “Because if there was even the slightest chance he was telling the truth, I had to protect you. Don’t you see? I get it now. I understand why you lied about Mikey. You didn’t have a choice.” Then, she whispered, “And neither did I.”
She held out the hand with the IV attached and waited, praying he’d understand. “I did it because...I love you.”
****
No, no, no!
Jake looked at Olivia’s outstretched hand as if it were a snake preparing to strike him.
Not because he was afraid to touch her. Hell, all he’d ever wanted was to be able to touch her freely. For her to be his and for him to
