Jake hung his head, his eyes squeezing tighter, causing more tears to fall. He worked to control his breathing for fear he’d hyperventilate and pass out on that damn hospital floor.
Christ, Liv. Baby, what did you do?
With every step closer to that barn, Olivia had to have known the worst was yet to come, and she’d done it anyway.
To protect him. To protect his team. He didn’t know how to process that.
He’d lied to her for an entire decade. While he was supposed to be her best friend, and even later when they’d become lovers, he’d continued to betray her undying trust.
Then, she’d left him. Had turned her back on him and walked out of his life—was that just four days ago?
Jake had deserved every bit of her wrath. What he didn’t deserve was her sacrificing her fucking life for him! Not for me, baby. Never for me.
Olivia started to lower her hand and Jake realized he still hadn’t taken it. The movement brought him back just in time to see loss and heartbreak behind her eyes.
“It’s okay, Jake. I understand. After the way I treated you, the things I said. I don’t blame you for not...wanting me...anymore.”
Not want her? Jake was dumbfounded. What the hell was she talking about? He opened his mouth to ask her, but she continued on with her absurd line of thinking.
“Especially now”—she looked at her lap—“I...can’t see m-my back, but I can f-feel what he did to me. I know I’ll have s-scars, and I don’t blame you for not w-want—”
Jake rushed forward and snatched up her hand. “Look at me.” He wasn’t gentle in his command.
After a moment’s hesitation, she lifted her head. The heartbreak and pain reflected in her eyes was almost enough to end him. He had to set things straight. Right. Fucking. Now.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I will always. Love you. For the last, I don’t even know how many years, your face is first thing I picture when I wake up in the morning. You’re the last thought I have before falling asleep at night. I’ve wanted nothing more than to have the right to hold you and kiss you whenever I damn well please. I only held off because of the fucked up situation with Mike, but now, you know about that and”—he looked at her tentatively—“you say you understand.”
“I do understand,” she whispered.
The tightness in his chest eased for the first time in over ten years.
“Good. Because I refuse to hold back anymore. I love you, and no amount of scars will ever change that.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Quite frankly, the fact that you could even think they would pisses me the hell off. Any scars you have will only be proof of how strong you are. How brave you were to have fought against that monster.”
Jake ran one of his hands down his face before continuing. “Jesus, woman. I swear to God if you ever do anything like that again, I’ll tie you down and never let you leave the house. That shit isn’t going to fly, understand? You don’t sacrifice yourself for me. That’s my job, do you hear me? It’ll my place as your husband to protect you. It’ll be—”
Olivia’s eyes grew wide. “Husband? Jake, what are you—”
Only then, did he realize what he’d said. Funny, though. He didn’t regret it for a second.
Okay, maybe the way he’d said it and the fact that they were in a hospital room and she was tied up to a million different machines wasn’t the ideal proposal, but damn if he’d wait another second to lay claim on her. He wanted the entire world to know she was his.
His grip on her hand softened, and his thumb began caressing the inside of her delicate wrist. Careful of her bruises, he moved his other hand up to the side of her face.
“I know I’m screwing this whole thing up by doing it here. Like this. You deserve flowers and candlelight and...Shit! I don’t even have a ring, yet.” He looked at her apologetically. “I swear, I’ll get you one as soon as I can. Until then, just know that I love you, Olivia. I want to marry you and have babies with you.”
He took a breath and kept going. “I know it won’t always be easy. In case you missed it, I’m an overprotective asshole. And in the interest of full disclosure, you should know that’s not likely to change. In fact, after this, I’ll probably get a lot worse. I’m going to hover and worry. Your safety and the safety of our children will be above anything else.” He took another breath and let out everything else he’d ever wanted to say and more.
“I wish I could promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you, again, but you and I both know that’s not realistic. We’ll need to have a good, long talk about my job and what it all means, but...sweetheart, you’re my life. Without you, nothing else matters. I know you’re going to have a lot to deal with from all of this, but I will be by your side every single step of the way. This isn’t like last time, sweetheart. I won’t be taking an active role in any jobs for a while, so you don’t have to worry. I’m here for you. Only for you.”
“I’ll listen if you want to talk. I’ll go to counseling with you, and I’ll hold you through any nightmares that may come. I’ll make love to you over and over again, and eventually, with time, we will replace every one of your bad memories with good ones. Together.”
Jake was rambling, but he meant every single word. He kissed the back of her hand and then, “So, what do you say, Liv? Will you marry me?”
He looked into
