I think I needed to see her look at him, just as she was at that very second. The way her smile was so wide, her eyes so bright. There was truly no denying that she loved my father, and a huge part of me felt guilty for giving them something to worry about when they had this happiness to share.
Just then my mother looked in my direction, and I saw her body go rigid immediately in my father’s arms. She attempted to back away, and again that guilt I felt hit me all over again. “I remember when I was little, and Raven and I used to hide in the hallway long after we were supposed to have been in bed. We’d watch the two of you dance and smile at one another. I remember the feeling those moments gave me. I felt like one of the luckiest kids in the world to have parents that loved one another so much. It made me feel so safe, like nothing of evil could touch me because I had this perfect little family to turn to.”
I saw the sadness in my mother’s eyes and felt my own grief for placing it there. “I just got that feeling again.” She looked up at me, her eyes filling with tears. “Seeing you together, I just realized it was something I’d missed so much. I can’t promise I’ll forget, but I promise that I’ll do my best to forgive.”
My own tears dripped from my eyes and ran along my cheeks as my mother offered me a nod and my father stretched out his arm, inviting me in for a hug.
I no longer wanted the distance that had been placed between us, and that was the start of a new journey for us.
I spent the next couple hours with them, sharing lunch and talking about their plans to take a weekend trip to Savannah. We talked about Rhett, and at first it felt strange sharing my current life with her, but quickly we fell into a rhythm.
I’d take it slow, tread lightly, but it felt good to have that weighted anger off my shoulders.
I pulled up into Rhett’s driveway, my hands shaking as I reached out to grab the small bag from my passenger seat. The contents of this bag held so much. I was terrified of what my future held, but also so very excited to know the truth.
With one deep breath, I climbed out of my car and began walking toward the doorway that led to the apartment above. With my key in hand, I continued to breathe calmly.
“AJ.” I spun around and dropped the bag as I pressed my hand to my chest. Grace rushed forward and bent down to pick up the items I dropped, and I felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She held out the bag, and with shaking hands I took it from her.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just wasn’t expecting anyone.”
“Are you and Rhett fighting?” Her question surprised me, and I think that had shown on my features because she immediately attempted to explain. “He was surprised by her being here, I think as much as the rest of us. From what Daddy says, he was less than friendly yesterday when she showed up at Gran’s. I just hoped that the two of you could talk through it and that you wouldn’t let it cause a conflict between you.”
“What are you talking about?” I was lost in confusion.
“Harley being back.” She placed her hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “Her showing up and demanding that they pick up where they left off was completely out of the blue.”
Suddenly I felt nauseated. “Harley’s back?”
“You didn’t know?” I watched as a panic took over her curious gaze. “I’d just assumed that he’d told you last night and that was why you were so worked up tonight.”
I pulled in the small bag tighter to my chest. The bag that only seconds ago had given me hope for our future. Hope with a touch of fear, I’ll admit, but hope still the same.
“If you’ll excuse me.” I didn’t want to be rude, but I also didn’t want her to see me fall apart. “I need to get a shower and start dinner.” I’d completely lied, and I’d hoped it didn’t show as I hurried up the stairs.
As I stepped inside, I stood with my hand still extended outward holding onto the handle and overlooked the space. A space that Rhett and I had already begun to create so many memories in.
Irritation hit me as I tried to figure out why he hadn’t told me. I mean there were so many chances, yet he hid the truth. I wanted to believe he had reasons for leaving it out of our conversations, but part of me, that nagging insecure part, kept telling me it was my worst fears coming to life. He didn’t tell me because he didn’t know how. Telling me meant admitting that he still had feelings for her.
I paced the apartment still being eaten up from the inside out by fear. That deep, unsettled feeling in my stomach only managed to grow more prominent with each passing minute. Moving around the area, I did my best to remain busy with menial chores, hoping that it would help me keep my mind from going to the one place I couldn’t allow.
The place where I led myself to believe that things between him and I were coming to an end.
Emptying the dryer, I folded all his socks and added them to the basket of
