Every kiss he’d given had merely been to taste, to take, and had all been for pure amusement. As Emma Jane’s lips moved against his, he knew that this kiss sealed something special between them. For Jasper, kissing Emma Jane was offering his first kiss, or at least the first sharing of all of him, asking for all of her.
When he pulled her closer to him, deepening the embrace, he felt the bundle in his other arm pressing between them. Emma Jane must have felt it, too, because she jerked away.
“What was that?” She sounded angry as she pressed her fingers to her lips.
“I’m sorry, I got caught in the moment.”
Emma Jane backed away. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
No, it wasn’t. “I’m sorry,” he said simply. “I...”
He’d tried giving her a part of his heart and she’d...
She kept her fingers on her lips, like they were tingling the way his still were. Their kiss might not have been what was supposed to happen, but she’d felt it, too. Something intense had passed between them, and while he was trying to acknowledge it, Emma Jane seemed too afraid.
“I think I might be developing feelings for you,” he said, hoping that his admission would put her at ease.
Emma Jane removed her fingertips from her lips. “You might?”
Then she shook her head. “I should have known. You know, at first I was offended that you hadn’t tried to kiss me. I even imagined at one point that when we were trapped in the mine together, just before it caved in, you had kissed me. And now you’ve kissed me for real, and all you can say is that you might have feelings for me?”
She took the baby out of his arms and stood. “I am not one of your playthings to toy with.”
Jasper quickly scrambled to his feet. “I know. And I wasn’t. There is something between us, and I’m trying to make sense of it.”
Then he stopped. Stared at her. Examined her flushed face, her flashing eyes and her heaving chest. She was angry. Truly angry. Confused. And hurt.
“Wait. You thought you imagined our kiss in the mine?”
Emma Jane nodded slowly.
“Why would you think you imagined it?”
A tear trickled down her cheek. “Who would want to kiss me? Why would you, a handsome, well-bred man who could have any girl he wanted, want to kiss me?”
So many reasons, and as they crossed his mind, he remembered all the compliments he’d paid her, and all the arguments she’d had against him. How could he tell her how very lovely she was? How desirable she was to him? How could he make her believe him?
All he had was the truth.
“That night, in the mine, I was attracted to you. When you approached me earlier in the barn and told me what was happening to your family and how you wanted me to help, I admired you.”
Jasper took a deep breath as he remembered how he’d noticed her eyes and the way the dark flecks danced back then, just as they were doing now.
“I barely knew you, and I didn’t want to marry anyone, let alone you, but I was so impressed that you came right out and told me that’s what you wanted. No one had ever been honest with their intentions like that before.”
She continued looking at him with that accusatory expression.
“Beauty isn’t just about a person’s outward appearance, you know.” He returned her glare. “Your dress was the most awful thing I’d ever seen on a person, but I admired your honesty and courage. I’m sorry if you don’t believe me, but I found that very attractive. And when we were stuck in the mine, and we were talking about real things, I felt a real connection to you. So I kissed you.”
Jasper shrugged. “I’m sorry if that offends you, Emma Jane. It was wrong, I know. I shouldn’t have taken the liberty. I acted impulsively in the moment, and I’m sorry if it caused you pain.”
He’d tried to be sorry for kissing her, but even now, having kissed her a second time, he couldn’t regret it.
“Why didn’t you mention the kiss before?” Her eyes were still watery from her tears, but at least they were no longer trickling down her cheeks.
“Why didn’t you?”
Emma Jane looked at the ground. “I told you. Why would anyone want to kiss me? I figured I must have imagined it.”
He reached forward and lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. “No. But I felt like I’d taken advantage of your weakened state, and the honorable thing was to pretend like it had never happened.”
“Is that why you so readily gave in to my family’s demands that you marry me?”
“In a way,” he admitted with a brusque nod. “I knew you’d been compromised, and the honorable thing to do was marry you. Plus, you’d saved my life. I felt like I owed it to you.”
“And now?”
“Now what?” he murmured.
“Why did you kiss me?”
Jasper closed his eyes. Tried to come up with the right words when he had no explanation other than the one he’d already given.
He finally opened his eyes and looked down at her. “Things are changing inside me. My feelings for you are changing.”
His answer didn’t appear to be what she wanted to hear. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “You have told me over and over how much you do not want to be married to me. You’ve said that you don’t believe me when I say that I did not trap you on purpose. You keep telling me that you don’t trust me and that I have to earn your trust.”
His own words hurt more when used against him. Especially because even though he’d tried offering himself to her, part of him knew they were still true. Yet they weren’t. How could it be both?
“I
