She stared at him, as if he owed her something more.
“It’s like what you told me with Mary. How something inside you was different. I don’t know why, but it’s the same for me.”
Her shoulders seemed to relax, and her posture seemed less tense. “I understand.” Then she frowned. “And I suppose I also understand why you were hesitant to believe in me. Because I don’t know if I believe you.”
How quickly the tables turned. Jasper felt a new sympathy for Emma Jane and how his disbelief in her must have hurt. Yet this wound seemed to sting a little deeper. After all, he’d offered her something he’d offered no other—his heart—and she needed more proof.
“What do you want from me?”
Emma Jane held the baby out to him. “I want you to accept Moses as your son.”
He looked at the baby, then he looked at her. “I’ve already held the baby.”
“The baby.” Emma Jane made a derisive noise. “You’ve not once mentioned him by name.”
Jasper swallowed. He’d barely begun to accept the child, and now she wanted him to acknowledge a name he hadn’t chosen and wasn’t even sure he liked?
“I thought maybe we could discuss the baby’s name.”
“His name is Moses.” She set her jaw stubbornly as she brought the baby back closer to her body.
“Moses,” Jasper said slowly, feeling the word on his lips. He looked at the baby, then he looked back at her. “I’m really trying to make this work. But I give you all I have to offer, and you ask for more.”
Emma Jane looked down at the baby and stroked his head. “A few days ago, that would have been enough. But now I have a child to think about, and I have to do what’s best for him.”
As he watched her retreat, Jasper suddenly felt weary. The room seemed emptier without her and the baby, but he didn’t know how to make her stay. And if she stayed, would they continue hurting each other with their words?
The life he’d planned for himself was so much simpler. Chasing bandits was easy enough. No, not easy, but at least he didn’t have to sort through feelings only to find his effort had been for naught.
He’d offered a piece of himself to Emma Jane that he’d never offered anyone else. But she acted like he’d insulted her instead.
Exhaling wearily, Jasper shoved his hand through his hair. Obviously, he’d been wrong in following his heart and attempting to connect with her on a romantic level. He’d promised her a marriage of convenience, and tonight’s kiss had violated that promise.
Emma Jane might have thought herself foolish to have imagined their kiss in the mine, but Jasper had been more foolish. He’d repeated what was clearly a mistake. One that wouldn’t happen again.
Chapter Fifteen
Emma Jane slept poorly that night. Sometime around dawn, she gave up the fight for sleep and wandered into the kitchen. Jasper had never come to bed, not that they were sharing a bed, of course, but he hadn’t even come to their room to keep up the appearance of being a married couple.
She heated a kettle of water and looked out the window, noticing that the snow had finally stopped falling. Moonlight glittered on the surface of the ground, blanketed in white. The drifts were almost to the base of the window, so that if she opened the window, she could touch the top of the snowbank.
Jasper would want to leave as soon as he realized the worst of the weather was over. How they’d make it to town through the deep snow, she didn’t know, but knowing Jasper, he’d find a way.
As she’d found herself doing multiple times throughout the night, Emma Jane touched her fingertips to her lips again.
Why had he kissed her like that?
Jasper had said he’d been attracted to her. Which hardly seemed possible, considering how unattractive Emma Jane was. Everyone said so. Her mother used to tell her that only a blind man would be able to overlook her lack of beauty. Certainly all of the young ladies had far more to recommend them than Emma Jane.
Why then would he find her attractive?
Though Jasper had mentioned admiring pieces of her character, Emma Jane could hardly fathom such things would make up for her lack of looks.
Her eyes filled with tears. Why would he toy with her like that?
All this time, she’d been curious about what it would be like to kiss him, hurt because he’d kissed every girl in town except her, and now, she found it only to be more confusing than anything else.
She’d liked his kiss. Liked the way his big, strong arms felt around her. As if she was safe. And she could count on him.
For a moment, she even thought she might have felt a spark between them.
But for Jasper, he’d only thought he might be developing feelings. So what had the kiss been? A game? Just one more of his experiments in curiosity, like he’d had with every other girl in town?
He’d said it was different, but Emma Jane wasn’t sure she could trust him. If he’d really changed, why was he still being so obstinate about Moses?
The water was finally ready, and Emma Jane began making her tea. Soon the sun would be up, and Olivia would be in to prepare breakfast. Emma Jane glanced at the closed door to the rooms off the kitchen. Abigail and her family occupied those rooms, and it was hard not to peek in and check on Moses. Because the baby was still too young to sleep through the night, Abigail had said it would be easier to keep him
