Selfish? She glared at him. “It seems to me that, yet again, you’re putting your motives right back on me. But you refuse to see any possibility other than my leaving him behind.”
“And you refuse to see the fact that you may not be the best person to take care of that baby right now.” Jasper’s eyes flashed as his jaw tightened. “We’re married, Emma Jane. And while I’m trying to get to know you so we can find common ground, you keep hiding behind that baby and using him as an excuse to keep me at arm’s length.”
Every cell in Emma Jane’s body heated. “I am merely doing what’s right. Something I thought you would support, considering this is Daisy’s child. You have just as many excuses keeping me at bay. As for using the baby as an excuse, you’re the one who runs away every time the subject comes up.”
Jasper took another swallow, then set his teacup down slowly. “Of course I do. Because no matter what I say or do, you refuse to see my side of things. So what’s the point in sticking around and having the same argument over and over? Even now, what are we accomplishing?”
Emma Jane smoothed her skirts and straightened her shoulders as she gave him a long, steady look. “Precisely. Which is why it’s time we both admit that what we hoped to accomplish with our marriage has failed. No matter what we do, people are going to talk. And you and I are never going to see eye to eye. So why would we spend the rest of our lives making each other miserable?”
“What are you saying?” Jasper’s eyes narrowed.
She’d seen that expression on his face before. Her suggestion would have wounded the pride of any man, but since Jasper took such stock in his ability to help her, this wound probably cut deeper.
“You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams because of my parents’ greed. Because of my simple mistake. You deserve to have the life you want for yourself.” She released a trembling breath. “So I’m setting you free, Jasper. Go back to town. Be a lawman. Find someone to fall in love with.”
Emma Jane’s throat tightened. Something in her heart constricted at the thought of him finding someone else. But it was clear that she wasn’t the one for him.
“Do you know the scandal a divorce would cause?” Jasper’s voice was hoarse.
His response gave Emma Jane all the assurance she needed that ending their sham of a marriage was the right decision. If all he cared about was the gossip, well, that would blow over soon enough.
“I’m not asking for a divorce,” she said quietly. “We have enough grounds for an annulment, given that we never had a real marriage to begin with. People might talk at first, but soon enough the Jackson fortune will be enough to smooth things over.”
Even in the dim light, Emma Jane could see Jasper’s face pale. He probably hadn’t realized the extent to which she’d thought her idea through. There were still some details she hadn’t figured out, like how she was going to support herself and her son, but she would find a way.
“I can’t leave you with nothing. You’re right, my reputation would be easily repaired, but you wouldn’t fare so well. The only option available to you would be the same lifestyle as the women you’re working so hard to help.”
His blunt words were like being dumped into one of the snowbanks.
“Pastor Lassiter...” Emma Jane began, but the expression on Jasper’s face told her all she needed to know.
The older man had been working so hard to help their marriage that he’d feel betrayed at Emma Jane giving up so quickly. He’d meant the words when he married the couple, and he’d expected them to mean something to them, as well. If there was anything to feel guilty about, it was the fact that she’d be breaking faith with the only person who’d truly believed in her.
“I could leave Leadville. Tell people I’m a widow. No one would question...”
“You’d make a liar of yourself?” His voice was quiet, but the accusation stung worse than it would have had he slapped her.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought...” Tears clogged her throat. Ending their marriage had seemed so simple, but Jasper’s questions made it look more and more impossible.
But he was right. Of all the things Emma Jane valued most, it was her own integrity. She could sleep at night knowing she’d done nothing wrong, but how would she sleep if she built her future on a lie?
“Is being married to me truly that bad?” Jasper asked hoarsely.
“We want different things.”
The expression on his face was tortured. “Is it because I kissed you?” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I am so sorry, Emma Jane. I acted without thinking. You were promised a marriage of convenience, and I crossed a line. I was wrong to have kissed you. I promise, I won’t seek to impose on you ever again.”
Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “Don’t you understand? That’s precisely what I don’t want. Being kissed was wonderful, and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life never having that again. You deserve a woman who will love you, just as much as I deserve a man who will do the same for me.”
She took a breath, strengthened by finally being able to express the feelings deep in her heart. “I want to be kissed with the passion of a man who loves me. I want to be a man’s choice, not a decision he was forced into.”
Wiping the tears from
