“Time’s up,” she said, pushing away from me. I gripped her arms and pulled her back to me.
“Nice try. You’re cutting it short by a half a minute.”
“It’s close enough.”
“If you keep pulling away, I’m gonna tack on an extra minute,” I growled.
She glared at me, but wrapped her arms around me again. I closed my eyes and pretended that things were good between us, that I had her back in my arms because she wanted to be there. I knew it was crap, but as long as she chose to do the homework, there was still a chance that we could make it.
“Good?” she asked, pulling out of my arms.
“Not good enough,” I grumbled. “But I’ll take what I can get.”
She turned away from me and started shoving her pillows around on our bed. Usually, she shoved the pillows to the foot of the bed and then kicked them off in the middle of the night. Now, she just piled them up on my side of the bed. I wondered what she would say if I slipped into bed with her tonight. Would she push me away? She turned and quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Was there something else you needed?”
I shook my head slightly, turning for the door. “Just you.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“So, how did the exercise go?” Dr. Sunshine asked.
“Uncomfortable,” Florrie snapped.
“Yeah, she dug her claws into my back, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been.”
“And what were you expecting?” Dr. Sunshine asked.
“Well, honestly, I was expecting a kick to the balls at the very least. Possibly a shot to the back when I walked out of the room,” I smirked.
“Do you find this funny?” Florrie asked. “Because I don’t see how you could possibly be laughing when we’re here to fix what you broke.”
“I wasn’t the only one in the relationship,” I reminded her.
“No, you were just the one that decided our relationship didn’t mean enough for you to stay loyal to me.”
“Right, because you were so enticing with your ‘fuck offs’ every day.”
“Did I go out and cheat on you?” she snapped.
“I don’t know. You ran off to your rich boyfriend and I haven’t once asked you what you were doing with him for an entire fucking week!”
“Why does that matter? You cheated on me first with that skank.”
“She wasn’t a skank. Now, I’m not saying that you have to like her, but she wasn’t the one that did something wrong. I told her that it was over between us. She thought I was free.”
“So, you’re a cheat and a liar. Charming.”
“I may have cheated on you, but there was no fucking emotion there, other than to be wanted by someone. You ran off with another man for a whole week. I have no fucking clue what you said to him or if he was holding you in his fucking arms.”
“Nothing happened with him. I told him what happened between us and he was there for me. He listened to me, something that you haven’t been too good at lately.”
“Yeah? And did he hold you? Did he kiss you?”
“I kissed him!”
My rage hit a boiling point and I stood, stepping away from her before I reached out to strangle her. I knew I had fucked up, but for her to kiss that douchebag just to get back at me really fucking pissed me off. “Did you fuck him?”
“He wanted me. He told me that first night I was there, but I was too fucked up over you.”
“And after that?”
She crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head angrily. “The day you showed up, I decided that I’d had enough of feeling shitty over you, so I initiated it, and yeah, I would have fucked him. But he stopped me. He said that he knew my heart would always belong to you. So, it looks like you owe him a thank you.”
I turned to look out the window and calm myself down. I hated that she came that close to fucking him, but what pissed me off even more was that she had him to turn to in the first place. Sure, I had turned to a woman that I came to know recently, but Jamie was different. I had known since the first time that I met him that he and Florrie had something different, a friendship that I couldn’t compete with. And the fact that she turned to him, ran to him when we were falling apart scared the fuck out of me. Would she turn to him every time we had problems? Or would she just decide that she had enough of me and go back to him, knowing that he was there waiting?
“Why don’t we bring this back to that for just a moment? Alec, please come sit down.”
I listened to the doctor and took my seat again, even though I still felt on edge and ready to snap.
“Why don’t we discuss what scares you most about moving forward. Florrie, what are some things that scare you right now?”
She didn’t bother looking at me as she spoke. “I’m worried that I’ll never trust him again. I don’t know how to get that back. I’m scared that the next time we have an argument, he’ll get pissed and find another woman to fuck. I’m…I’m scared that I’ll never look at him the way I used to.”
Dr. Sunshine nodded as she took some notes. “Alec, what about you?”
“I’m scared that she’ll continue to shut me out, just like she has for months. I’m scared that there’s nothing I can do to ever make her trust me again. But most of all, I’m scared that she has something with Jamie that I just can’t fucking compete with. And if she realizes that, what the fuck does she need me for?”
Again, Dr. Sunshine scribbled down some notes while I sat there feeling fucking uncomfortable with
