“Yeah, but Florrie, we’re just going for a visit,” I said cautiously, hoping that she wouldn’t get any ideas about kidnapping him. “And Cap has a few conditions for us going out there. One, we have to bring a team out with us.”
“For what?”
I waited for her to get it. She had to realize that Cap wouldn’t trust her to go out to visit Reid without assurance that she wouldn’t be able to try again to take him on the run.
“He doesn’t trust me,” she finally said.
“He doesn’t trust you when it comes to Reid. And he doesn’t trust me to be able to stand up against you a second time if it came down to it.”
“Fine,” she said irritatedly. “What are the other conditions?”
“No weapons.”
“But I go everywhere with my gun.”
“Not this time.”
“Fine. When do we leave?”
I grinned at her. “Is now too soon?”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOURFlorrie
God, I was so nervous. I was just a few minutes away from seeing Reid again and I was terrified. I hadn’t seen him in months, hadn’t even spoken to him. I’d sent him a Christmas present, but I wasn’t sure that he had gotten it. I had no idea how things had been going for Reid. OPS was still at the house, but everything they told us was so generic. I didn’t know if he was making friends or if he enjoyed school. I didn’t know if the Fullers were good to him. All I knew were the little pieces of information that I received in the reports.
I felt Alec grip my hand and it took everything in me not to pull away from him. I was so conflicted on my feelings for him. I loved him for doing this for me, but I hated that it even had to be done. I spent a lot of my time reminding myself that Alec wasn’t to blame for what happened with Reid. I had come to accept that in our therapy sessions. But getting my brain and my heart to be on the same page was taking some time.
We pulled into the driveway and Reid opened the door to the house, stepping outside. He didn’t walk closer or even look like he was happy to see us. My heart sank and tears pricked at my eyes.
“Give him a minute. He’s been through a lot of changes,” Alec reminded me before we stepped out of the SUV.
I watched as his aunt and uncle ushered him forward, coming toward us with smiles on their faces. Of course they were happy. They had Reid. When Alec took my hand this time, I gripped on for dear life, because I was terrified I was going to have a breakdown of some kind right in the middle of the lawn.
Reid stood in front of me, his hair a little shorter than the last time I had seen him, and he had grown bigger in just the last few months. He looked fit and well fed, so I knew that wasn’t an issue, and I couldn’t see any signs of abuse. But I wouldn’t know for sure until I got him alone to talk.
“Reid, it’s so good to see you, kid,” Alec said from beside me. He held out his hand and Reid took it, silently taking it all in. I wasn’t as good about hiding my emotions. Tears pricked my eyes and I swiped at them, not wanting to cry in front of everyone. But my heart was breaking. I wanted so badly to pull him into my arms and hug him. I wanted to take him home with me, even though I knew I couldn’t.
He stepped forward and slowly put his arms around me, and I fucking broke. I pulled him in tight and squeezed him to me as tears slid down my face. Life was so fucking unfair, and in that moment, my anger surged once again that Alec had any part in Reid being taken away from me. But when I turned to Alec, the anger all disappeared when I saw the look on his face. He was sad too, but the way he looked at me with so much love, I knew how much it was hurting him too.
“We missed you so much,” I said, putting on a smile. Now wasn’t the time for anger. I had to soak in as much time as I could with Reid.
“We were thinking we would grill out since it’s so nice out today. Why don’t you head around to the back yard?” Reid’s aunt suggested. “I’ll get some drinks and bring them out in a few minutes.”
“I’ll help you,” Alec said, following her toward the house. He glanced back at me, shooting me a look that he was trusting me not to try and run. Not like I could, Knight and Lola were parked down the street watching.
“So,” I started as we walked to the backyard, “how have you been?”
He shrugged. “I’m good. It’s been pretty cool here.”
“Yeah? Are you making friends?”
“A few. I have three cousins my age and I go to school with them.”
“That’s good,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“My aunt has been telling me about my dad. I don’t really remember him, so it’s been pretty cool to hear about how they grew up.”
We sat down on some chairs on the patio and I worked up the courage to ask him what I really needed to know. “Reid, are you happy?”
He shrugged, but didn’t look at me. “I mean, it’s okay.”
It felt like he was holding back, or like he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. “Reid, you can be honest with me. I never want you to lie to me because you think you’ll hurt my feelings.”
He chewed his lip as he turned to me, giving a slight shrug. “I really like it here. I mean, I loved being with you and Alec, but it’s pretty cool having family. I didn’t even know I had cousins, and now I do.”
Alec
