“Reid, I’m really happy that you’re doing so well here. I’m here for you if you ever need anything, okay?”
“So, you’re not mad at me?”
Shit. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him into my side. “I could never be mad at you. I just want you to be happy, and if you’re happy here then that’s all that matters.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“He looked really good,” Alec said as we pulled away from the Fullers’ house and headed back to the airport.
“Yeah, he did. It was fun to see him when he loosened up. I don’t think he was ever that relaxed when he was with us.”
“Well, he also had kids his age around.”
I smiled as I remembered him teaching his cousins some of the things Alec and I had taught him. He looked like an everyday kid, just hanging out with his family and having fun. He obviously fit in well with his family, and they all looked at him like he was the missing link in his family.
I slid my hand into his on the center console, intertwining my fingers with his. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you before. I couldn’t see how much he needed his family.”
He shrugged slightly, as if I hadn’t torn him to shreds over this whole thing. “You just wanted what was best for him. I can’t fault you for that.”
“But I should have listened to you. There are a lot of things that would have never happened if I had just listened to you.”
“Look, we both made mistakes, and you can’t take the blame for all that. I should have talked to you about my past long before Reid came into the picture. Maybe then you would have understood more where I was coming from. And I never should have suggested the Fullers stay on the Reed Security property without talking to you first. Hell, I should have found a better way to handle the whole situation, but I can’t go back and change what I did, and neither can you. All we can do is move forward and try and work past all that shit.”
“But can we?” I asked. “So much has happened, and my first instinct is still to get angry at you. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to look at you without thinking about…about another woman having her hands on you.”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel and his jaw tightened. “Just like I’ll always wonder what the fuck happened between you and Jamie.”
“Nothing happened,” I insisted.
“That’s not the way he made it sound.”
“I know you think that Jamie and I have something, but I swear, when I thought about…about-”
“About fucking him?” he sneered.
“It was to wipe away your memory. It was never because I wanted him. It was that I hoped I could want him so I didn’t have to feel so much pain. I knew that he was a good guy and that he would treat me right, but deep down, I also knew that it would take me forcing myself to want him. And he knew it too.”
“Then don’t ever see him again.”
“What?” I turned to him in shock.
“If he doesn’t really mean anything to you, then don’t ever fucking see him again.”
“Alec, he’s my friend.”
“And you just admitted to trying to fuck him. I’m sorry, but I can’t move forward with you knowing that you’ll still see him again.”
“We’re just friends,” I insisted.
“Yeah? I was just friends with the woman I cheated on you with. Would you like it if I decided to be friends with her still?”
“That’s different. You actually did cheat on me with her.”
“Yeah? You have a friendship with Jamie that I can’t compete with. I’m not comfortable with it and I never fucking will be. I’m telling you that this is what I need to move forward with you. Are you willing to give me that?”
“You’re serious. You want me to end a friendship with someone who poses no threat to you-”
“He means something to you,” he snapped. “It’s an emotional connection and it’s always fucking been there. And if I’m honest, it’s more fucking painful that you share that with him than if you actually fucking cheated on me.”
“How?” I asked incredulously.
“Because if you just went and fucked him, it would have been a release and that’s it. What you have with him…you shared things with him. You told him about us. You trusted him. You connected with him when you couldn’t connect with me. And that is worse than just a random fuck. And as much as you insist that you don’t want him, can you say that he doesn’t feel the same way?” He paused, quirking an eyebrow at me. “You can’t, because you admitted that he told you that he wanted you. And you expect me to be okay with the two of you still being friends? Every time you talked to him on the phone or emailed him, I would be looking over your fucking shoulder, wondering if he was flirting with you. I won’t live my life like that. So, you have to decide, either it’s only me or you can have him.”
I was shocked. I hadn’t realized that Alec felt so strongly about this. I knew that he didn’t like Jamie, and I knew that he was jealous, but I never really thought that it would come down to this. Jamie wasn’t a threat in any way. He was just a guy that was nice and I liked
