I stood back with Michael as the two women went at it. Lydia was handling herself better than I had. I must have been rustier than I thought.
“Hey,” Michael said low enough that the two playing wouldn’t hear.
“Hello.” I remembered our last conversation but now I finally understood what he said. Lydia had a family of people who cared about her that she made herself even after the tragedy that took her first family from her. I never knew that kind of love and I never learned how to find it. I knew I was undeniably lucky that I stumbled into this love.
“I just wanted to say, sorry for vaguely threatening you all those months ago,” Michael said.
I didn’t hide my surprise well. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“No. I do.” Michael sighed. “Not exactly for that. I just thought you were an irredeemable asshole? And said so to Lydia.”
“Oh.” To hear it said so plainly, I was hit again with how cold I had been for years and years; hit by just how lonely I made myself.
“But you changed yourself. And I’m glad. Because I could tell Lydia liked you a little. Even back when you were still a jerk. I don’t know what you did, but you worked for it and are better for it.”
“Lydia helped.” I couldn’t take all of the praise.
“Yeah. She’s pretty good. But it takes a lot to change yourself.” Michael smiled at me, like he did at Lydia. I got the urge to cry, but held it in. It was strange for that to be my first instinct. “I’m just happy for you. For both of you.”
“I’m unbeatable!” Virgo cried as Lydia shook her head in clear defeat.
“Where did Virgo learn to play pool?” I asked.
Michael shrugged. “I don’t really want to know.”
Chapter 15: Lydia
“I’m going to go see my mother,” Taylor announced.
He sat me down on the bed and paced in front of me that morning. We were two weeks away from Christmas and I expected his uneasy air to have something to do with the party planning and having to break some bad news to me about the refreshments. I never would have thought it would be something like this.
“You want to see her,” I said, my voice was emotionless because I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.
“I don’t want to see her.” He sighed. “It’s more complicated.”
“Help me understand.” I truly couldn’t imagine wanting to see that horrid woman after everything she did to him. But it didn’t happen to me. I couldn’t possibly feel what he was feeling. I hoped he could help me understand, so I could be there for him.
“I’m not going to forgive her or make up or anything like that,” he explained. “I never stood up to her. And I want to. I couldn’t even do it when she and my father visited. I just froze.”
“You weren’t prepared for them, nobody would fault you for that,” I said, hoping he still didn’t blame himself.
“I will be ready this time. I’m deciding to go.” I could tell he’d given this a lot of thought.
“I understand,” I said tapping his wrist before wrapping my arms around him.
“I’m telling you because I want you to be there.”
I thought he might.
“I won’t force you. I’ll go either way. But I know I’ll be stronger with you there.”
I buried my head in his chest. “I’ll go. No question. I won’t say anything to her, but I won’t let her touch you.”
He let out a shaky breath. How long had he been holding it? “I love you Lydia.”
Now I was the one who couldn’t breathe. “I love you too.” How long had I waited to hear that from him? I knew he felt that way. He showed me with his actions and with his body. To hear it was something else. It was proof he was working to be my partner, that he wanted me to stay.
He pressed a kiss in my hair. “I don’t want to go yet. I was going to wait a few days to prepare myself.”
“You might second guess yourself,” I warned.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said softly. He tightened his grip around me and then let go.
“I have to go to work today,” he said.
“But it’s a Sunday.”
“The transition of the company from my grandfather to me is going smoothly, but it means I have to do a little extra.”
“Well that’s fine Mr. CEO, I’ll be going out with Virgo today. I’m helping her pick out paint for her new apartment.”
“I’ll see you later then.” His voice went low and his eyes roved over me. It was a promise of a thrilling night to follow.
I leaned forward and kissed him, biting softly at his bottom lip. The kiss was over too soon and then he left for work.
***
“You seem bummed.” Virgo wasn’t the kind of person who took long to get to her point.
I almost dropped all the paint sample cards I’d been collecting for her. “Do I?”
“Yeah. You keep scrunching the cards.” She pointed down at my hands.
“Oh.” I realized she was right: all the cards had curled up edges.
“What’s the problem Lyds?” Her perfect eyebrows furrowed.
“I can’t really tell you.” I wasn’t going to break Taylor’s trust in me with his secrets. If I told anyone without his permission, he wouldn’t forgive me, and I wouldn’t forgive myself either.
“You can be vague with me,” she said and winked. “Just general stuff.”
I took a deep breath and got my thoughts in order. “Taylor wants to do something that I’m worried will be bad for him, but I also think it could be good for him.” That was the best I could do. “Does that even make sense?”
She hummed a little. “It does, sort of. But since I can’t know more, I don’t have any advice, sorry.”
“It’s fine, I don’t know if anyone can really prepare me for situations like this.” I shook my head. “I’m
