When I unfold it, I notice it’s more than just her number.
Elijah,
I’m watching you try your hardest to keep from looking at me. I know you hate seeing me and Lorenzo so close. I can’t explain everything in this note, but I will soon, just know there’s nothing going on between him and me. I only have eyes for you. Call me. I’ve missed your voice.
xoxo
Nova
Her number is scribbled below her name, but I can’t stop reading the note. She wanted to make sure she gave me some reassurance. She sensed my discomfort and let me know I had nothing to worry about. She wants me and only me.
But now she’s seen me with Lorraine and is probably regretting so much. I whip out my phone from my desk drawer and dial her number. No answer. I call again. No answer.
I’m sure she’s probably in class. I risk sending her a text. She’ll know it’s me.
Nova, call me after school. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I can guarantee there’s an explanation. Just know I feel the same as you. You’re the only one I see. The only one I care about. It’s you or it’s nothing. Call me.
I didn’t mean to be so deep in the text, and I hit send before I could re-read it over and over and decide to change something. I’ve known there was something different about her from the beginning. It’s wrong what we’re doing. Wrong according to the school, perhaps according to society. She’s a student fourteen years my junior, but we have something. I know we do. It’s in the baby stages, but it’s growing. What we have can’t be wrong.
36
As the day goes on, my anger continues to stew. What had I walked in on? They weren’t kissing, they were just close. But they were holding hands. On top of that, Ayanna just told me it was Professor Drakulich that Elijah was “banging.” Is that present tense? Is he still sleeping with other people? It’s not like we defined what we have. Are we supposed to be monogamous? Because that’s how I took it.
I assumed the phone calls I got from a number I didn’t recognize were from Elijah, but I was already in class and unable to answer.
The text that came through soon after I left unread, unwilling to start a game of back-and-forth texting during the day. We need to talk, but we should at least talk on the phone or face-to-face.
I go the rest of the day trying not to think the worst, but failing. Ayanna and Lorenzo both notice my change in mood, but I think they assume it’s related to Mario and the fact that he might be here in town, so they don’t question it.
As I’m walking to work, I spot Lorenzo and Ayanna near the entrance.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask.
“Nothing, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be busy tonight,” Ayanna says. “I have a study group starting soon, then I’m covering for a girl at the restaurant and taking a shift from seven to eleven.”
“You work at that Italian place, right? Lucio’s?” Lorenzo asks. “I need to hit that place up soon. I’ve heard good things.”
“Oh, it’s definitely good,” Ayanna replies before turning back to me. “Anyway, so I can’t be here when you get off or stay with you at home.”
As she’s talking, I spot Elijah heading our way. His eyes never stray from mine as he approaches, and my heart begins to pick up speed the closer he gets. God, he’s sexy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s slept with all the female staff. Nobody would say no to him. But the thought of him being with anyone else strikes a nerve. Everyone has a past, but if he’s still currently sleeping around, then I can’t continue this. I want him all to myself.
As soon as he’s about to pass us, I hear Lorenzo say my name.
“Nova, is that cool with you?”
I look back at Lorenzo. “Huh? Sorry.”
“I’ll stay at your place tonight.”
Elijah’s gaze snaps in my direction, fire burning in his eyes as the grooves between his brows deepens. Oh, he definitely heard that, and he’s not happy. Great, now I have some explaining to do as well.
“Hey, Professor K,” Lorenzo greets, lifting his chin up.
Elijah lifts his head and gives him a quick smile, then disappears into the library.
“Lorenzo can sleep on the couch,” Ayanna says, continuing the conversation. “He can bring extra blankets and stuff from his dorm. Right?”
“Yeah, for sure. You okay with that?” he asks me.
“Uh. I guess. I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I’m late,” I say, trying to get out of this conversation. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
After I rush inside the library and store all my stuff behind the front desk, my eyes scan the room searching for Elijah.
Annie, the head librarian, finds me and tells me what she needs me to do. I hide in between some shelves and slide my phone from my pocket. I don’t normally keep it on me when I’m working, but I need to get in touch with Elijah.
When I read his text, my heart nearly explodes as tears burn the backs of my eyes.
It’s you or it’s nothing.
Any lingering anger is blown away by just a couple lines of text. I need to talk to him. I have to explain what he heard. I have to explain a lot.
As I work, I keep my eyes peeled. It’s not like he blends in. He’s tall, muscular, and the most attractive man in this school. But I don’t see him anywhere. Did he already leave?
I decide to roam around the entire library one more time before I text him. He’s not at any of the tables that are in the main
