I’ve been busting my ass doing double the work and taking as many classes as possible so I can finish and get my degree in business administration as fast as I can, but I didn’t stop to think about why.
Initially, I guess my thought was to come home, take care of my sister and finish school so I could go back to Gaspar and not have to re-enroll in college again. I didn’t want to return to the student/teacher roles we had.
But recently, I’m starting to wonder if I can leave my sister behind again. I did it once, but that was only because she forced me to, and I was doing it for my own safety. Now that I don’t have to worry about that anymore, I have no reason to not be here.
Except Elijah.
He’s the reason I want to be back in Ohio. But is it selfish to leave my home and my only family member behind for a guy? I mean, Gia and I are both adults. We both have to have our own lives, but I don’t want her to hate me for leaving.
Today is Valentine’s Day, and since it’s a Friday, Elijah decided to take today off and fly down. Because President’s Day is Monday, he has a longer weekend, so he’ll be able to spend half of today with me, then Saturday, Sunday, and leave Monday afternoon.
As I look over the heads of people who pass me with their luggage, my eyes seek the gorgeous face of Elijah. When I spot him, I run forward and he drops his bag and catches me as I leap into his arms.
“You miss me or something?” he asks with a chuckle.
“More than you know,” I reply, burying my face in his neck.
We kiss before he places me back on my feet. “Let’s get to the hotel,” he says. “We have a holiday to celebrate.”
* * *
After the physical celebration, Elijah presents me with a red coffee mug covered in hearts and stuffed with chocolate, and a white teddy bear wrapped around it with Be Mine printed on its foot. On top of that, which honestly would’ve been enough for me, he gave me a rose gold tennis bracelet.
I bought him a watch with an engraving on the back of the face. It reads I’m having the time of my life with you. And it’s true. I’ve never been happier, even with the distance between us.
“I’m going to hate leaving you,” Elijah says as we lie together in bed. “My time here is short, and I won’t be able to get time off again until spring break.”
“And that’s in April?”
“Yep.”
“Maybe I can fly over next month.”
“Yeah?”
“I can try.”
“I’d love that. The house misses your presence. I think Sugarfoot misses the music and dancing in the mornings.”
She laughs. “You better turn up the music and dance with that dog.”
“I’m not a good dancer.”
“I don’t think he’ll judge you,” she says with a giggle.
We’re quiet for a few minutes, wrapped in each other’s arms as we’re lost in our own thoughts.
The question we both need to ask is Are you willing to move to be with me? But neither of us asks it. And if we don’t ask, what are we doing? Are we willing to be together and only see each other once every one or two months? When will that become once every six months? When will the distance become too much? Are we wasting each other’s time?
“I know what you’re thinking,” he says, his breath whispering over my ear. “It’s the same thing I’ve been thinking every day since you left.”
I’m too scared to face him, so I keep my back to him and wrap his arm around me even tighter. “What have you been thinking?”
“Which one of us will be the one to make a move.”
“Hmm.”
Another long silence follows. “I’ve decided to take classes during the summer, so I can finish my degree quicker.”
“Okay.”
“If I go back to Ohio now, I have to re-enroll in school and then we have the same problem we had before.”
“But we’d see each other every day.”
“Right.”
“But your sister is here.”
“Yes, and I don’t know how she’ll feel about me moving away. This time forever.”
“Forever?”
“I mean, it would be, right?” I ask, feeling a ball of tension form in my stomach.
“I’d hope so, yes.”
I release a breath. “I know you have your brothers in Gaspar. And you live in your parents’ home. I know there’s ties there you can’t break.”
“So you’re saying you know I won’t leave Gaspar, and you aren’t sure you could leave Tampa.”
With a long and deep sigh, I say, “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
He releases me, flopping onto his back. I take a peek over my shoulder and see his arm resting over his eyes. This is why we never had this conversation. It’s too complicated and has the ability to cause drama. He wouldn’t ask me to leave my sister, and I couldn’t ask him to leave his brothers and his job.
We don’t finish the conversation. We eventually move on and enjoy our remaining days together. We go to the beach, we go shopping, and we have dinner with my sister and Greg. We don’t think about what seems to be inevitable. We don’t mention that as much as we care about each other, this may not work. Which is why I don’t tell him I’m completely in love with him.
52
April
Nova wasn’t able to make it to Ohio last month because there was a trial for Mario and she needed to be there for it. He got five years for the hit and run, and another five for aggravated stalking. Nova kept the threatening letters he sent her, and it was because of those that it wasn’t considered misdemeanor stalking. He threatened her life in those angry and vicious notes. And now they don’t have to worry about him for a long time.
We’ve barely
