Nancy quickly jumped in, "No, no, no—notthat kind of research! Oh Godno!"
Elizabeth shrugged and smiled a little. "Sorry.I, um ..." She scooted back so she was sitting Indian style on thewindowsill. She had a feeling they would be here for awhile.
Nancy smiled slightly, as well. "I guess Iphrased that wrong. No, he wanted to know what life is like for awife and mother. How the PTA stuff worked, that sort of thing.Isn't that crazy? I mean, here he is writing this? A super-racynovel, and he's asking me about stupid fundraisers and volunteerstuff," she paused before continuing. "He asked me for access to myFacebook page. I gave him my login and password. I had nothing tohide from him. I was thinking that he wanted to get inside my head,in my world."
"What did Archie think of all ofthis?"
"That's the thing—I didn't tell him. It drove ahuge wedge between us for a long time. I felt like I was keepingsecrets, but then I didn't know how he'd take it if I did tell him.I mean, he tolerates J.P., but I don't think he loves him. Hedoesn't say much negative about him because of Johnthough."
"That's got to be hard. Peter doesn't like meto even mention my exes, not that there are that many, and I wasn'tmarried to any of them."
"I know. It's so silly. J.P. and I split upwhen John was barely one. It was pretty obvious that we weren'tright for each other. We probably wouldn't have even stayedtogether for as long as we did, if it weren't for John. I knew it,and J.P. knew it. I'm so thankful that I have John, but J.P. and Inever should have been together."
"That's a tough thing to admit."
"Once I met Archie, I knew what it was supposedto be like. And I knew it was never like that with J.P."
"Did you want more kids?"
"I did. Not just more kids, but Archie's kids.But he's older and didn't want more. I'm pretty sure he would havebeen okay if I had never had John. Not that he doesn't love him,because Lord knows he does, but I just don't think he's a kidperson."
"Some people just aren't kid people. SometimesI wonder if Peter would've been okay without kids. But we'regetting off topic here. So this J.P. guy had access to yourFacebook and was asking all sorts of personal questions, but youdidn't tell Archie?"
"No. And I didn’t know what J.P. was doing withthe information. I guess, in my mind, I was the heroine of hisnovel. Of course, I had no idea how smutty it would be."
"Well, obviously not. But could you look at itas somewhat flattering that he thinks you are that attractive thathe cannot keep his hands off you?" Elizabeth tried to be positiveabout the situation.
"Have you read the book?"
Elizabeth suddenly felt guilt. She looked down,and hoped she wasn't blushing. "I started to, before we all gotsick. But honestly, I was falling asleep while reading it and noneof it really sank in. And then I've been so busy with the carnivaland all that I haven't gotten back to it," she halfmumbled.
"That explains it. What do you know aboutit?"
Elizabeth was uncomfortable again. Suddenly shefelt as though the axis had again shifted and Nancy held all thepower. "Julia indicated that it's pretty graphic, and this guy andhis high school girlfriend have sex all over the place."
Nancy smiled her Cheshire cat grin. "Of course,that's what most people would take out of it. But I think it's morethan that. Read it, and let me know what you think."
"Okay, I will. So the portrayal of the mainfemale character, I would guess, is not entirely flatteringthen?"
"No, not flattering for the most part. She'sweak and snively and not capable of thinking for herself. She'slike an anti-heroine."
"So then, why are you upset that it's not aboutyou? You don't want to be thought of that way, do you?"
Nancy cocked her head. "I never thought of itthat way. Good point." She paused, covering her face for a minute,pressing her fingers into her temples. The silence hung thick."Even though we're through, and have been for a long time, it justwould have been nice."
"Nice?"
"Nice that he still wanted me. I know hedoesn't, and I don't want him, but I'm not getting any youngerhere, and it would have been nice if he still found me attractiveor identified me as desirable."
"Who says he doesn't on some level?"
"He does. I am in the book. I'm the mean girlwho picks on the main girl. My name in the book is Kysa. She'sdescribed as cold and calculating and domineering."
Elizabeth was speechless. She swallowed, ifonly to buy herself some time in formulating her next statement.How do you respond to that? It was exactly how Nancy could be.Nancy continued, sparing Elizabeth, if just for the moment. "I knowthat's how I can appear. It's a carefully crafted image. It's how Iwant people to see me. But I thought J.P. knew me better than that.I thought I had opened up to him, at least when we weretogether."
"How long were you together?"
"Just over two years. I got pregnant when wehad only been dating about six months. We rushed into marriage."Nancy paused and sighed. "No, I rushed into marriage. I think J.P.would have been just as content not getting married. Like I said,we kind of already knew that we weren't right for eachother."
"But something must have drawn you together?"Elizabeth recalled having the same thoughts about herself andPeter.
"Looking back, I was attracted to his fame. Ishould be ashamed to admit it, but there is something so veryappealing about being with someone who has some kind of power. Healready had two books out and was making the rounds on talk showsand such. I met him while doing P.R. for his agent. I was alreadythirty-one but was still living the party-girl kind oflifestyle."
"You, a party girl?" Elizabeth was incredulous."I never pictured you as anything but Martha Stewart."
"If you had told me fifteen years ago that Iwould be a Martha wanna-be, I would have laughed in
