Elizabeth looked away and slid down so that shewas supine, now staring at the ceiling. She lay there, trying withall of her might to will him to roll over. Her eyes were growingheavy, and the next thing she knew, Peter was elbowing her out of asound sleep to tell her to turn off her bedside lamp. Elizabeth gotup and went to the bathroom. By the time she came back, Peter wasagain on his side, facing away from Elizabeth and sleeping, snoringsoftly. She flicked the lamp off and crawled back into bed. Shecozied up behind Peter, wrapping her arm across his bare stomach.Her body pressed into his, face to back, pelvis to pelvis, legs tolegs. Her fatigue once again overcame her, and she fell asleepclinging to Peter as desperately as she was clinging to theirmarriage. She was again awoken to Peter shrugging her off. She wastoo tired at this point to care. She rolled over and went to sleepyet again. There was at least a foot of space between the two ofthem.
Elizabeth made it through the frenzy ofgraduation the next morning. She smiled at her young pupils, aboutto make their way into the larger schools. She teared up with themothers, who were sad to see their babies growing up. She smiledfor picture after picture and gave hug after hug. She knew shewould not hear from some of these families again, and it made herslightly sad. Finally, most of the guests had cleared out, andElizabeth and Michele set about the immense chore of cleaning upfrom the ceremony and reception. Elizabeth caught movement out ofthe corner of her eye. She saw the mother of one of hernon-graduating students hovering nervously. The woman, CarrieLundquist, had two older children who attended Cherry Road. Heryoungest, Caroline, Elizabeth's pupil, had DownSyndrome.
"Hey Carrie, what's up? Did you guys forgetsomething?"
Carrie shifted nervously. She looked down ather feet, refusing to meet Elizabeth's eyes. "Um, no."
"Oh, is something else going on? Is everybodyokay?"
"Um, yeah. We're fine. I, um, it's just thatwe've decided that Caroline shouldn't come back here in thefall."
"What?"
"My husband and I do not want her to continueon with you, I mean here."
"Did something happen? Is there anything I cando to help?"
"No, you've done quite enough."
"What do you mean by that?" Elizabeth wasgrowing slightly defensive.
"We just think Caroline would do bettersomewhere else, in a more positive environment."
Despite the sting, Elizabeth tried to rememberall of her customer service lessons throughout the years. "Well,I'm sure wherever you have in mind for Caroline to go will begreat. You know my door is always open here for you and yourfamily. If you need me to speak with her new teacher, or sendrecords over, or anything, please don't hesitate to let meknow."
Brusquely, Carrie said, "I don't think we'll beneeding any of your helpanytime soon, but thank you." She must have realized how sharplyher words came out and, not being a mean person by nature added,"Caroline always loved coming here and loved you." And with that,she turned and left.
Michele, the other teacher, had witnessed thewhole exchange. She never stepped up and tried to intervene orpersuade Carrie to keep Caroline in the program. She just stoodthere and watched. She made it a point to busy herself as Elizabethturned around and never made eye contact with her. Elizabeth wasbefuddled and bewildered. Something was definitely going on. Thiswas not about Julia at all. This was about Elizabeth. And sheneeded to find out what it was.
Michele was very busy being busy, in an obviousattempt to avoid any interaction with Elizabeth. It stung and madeElizabeth yearn for her days in the classroom with Susan, whereevery day was filled with laughter and camaraderie. Finally, afterwhat seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence, Elizabethsaid to her, "Michele, is something going on that I should knowabout?"
Michele looked like a deer trapped inheadlights. "Um, no, but I need to get going. I'll be back later inthe week to finish packing my stuff up." And before Elizabeth couldeven process it, Michele was out of the classroom. Elizabeth feltthe wind go out of her sails, and she plopped down in a smallplastic chair meant for one of the kids. She buried her face in herhands and cried. She didn't know what was going on, but somethingbig was brewing. Obviously, she had made some people quite mad, andnow it was even impacting her livelihood. What would Peter say ifshe were to be fired because parents were complaining about – what?That was the thing. She had no idea of what was going on. She justknew it was bad. And she doubted that she was strong enough tohandle whatever this was.
Elizabeth got through the day, somehow. Sheworked in her classroom for as long as she could until it was timeto be home for the school bus. She cried a few times, especiallywhen she found a picture of Caroline. As soon as Peter got home,they ate the dinner that she had cooked, and then she cleaned up,without even waiting to see if Peter would pitch in. They had losttrack of their "days" with all of Peter's traveling, so things hadreverted back to the old way, where Elizabeth handled everything.However, tonight that needed to change, and she informed Peter hewas responsible for baths and bedtime, at a reasonable hour, andthat she would be going out.
Elizabeth got in her car and drove. Initially,she planned on driving over to the bike path and going for a nice,therapeutic walk or even jog. But when the turnoff came, Elizabethkept driving. She was on autopilot, not even sure of a destination.About thirty minutes into her drive, she realized what she wasdoing, and she pulled over. She was headed into the mountains, toJack. She could not do this. She could not turn to him now. Again.Yes, he had helped her before, and had made her feel better. Butthat was a one-time occurrence, with extenuating circumstances.Last time, it had been pure coincidence, and she had not reallybeen in her right mind, literally. This time was different. Sheknew
