Knowing how Peter was about money, she didn'tthink she could convince him to buy the tickets for the event aswell as a dress for her. She, as the dutiful and well-trained wifeshe was, agreed to the compromise without even discussing the issueand had resigned herself to the fact that she would not be gettinga new dress. It had been at least five years since they'd goneanywhere dressed up. Well, that should be, it had been five yearssince Elizabeth had had a chance to get dressed up. Peter got toattend dinners and functions all the time, mostly when he was outof town. She was always envious of that portion of his career. Hegot to dress up and socialize, while she was here, with the kids.Even her work functions included kids. She never got to go out andbe just Elizabeth. She went to the walk-in closet that they sharedand pulled Peter's tux out. It would need to be cleaned, but shewas sure she had a coupon for dry cleaning somewhere. She rummagedto the back corner, where her dresses hung in their plastic storagebags. Elizabeth tried all three dresses, and none of them fit. Theyall hung off of her, looking completely awful. She looked at thetags. They were all size ten or twelve. She frowned. She didn'tremember them looking like this. Why were they big? That was herclothing size, wasn't it? She walked out of the closet, and wentinto the bathroom to weigh herself. One-hundred eighteen pounds.She stepped off the scale and step back on again. One-hundredeighteen. That couldn't be right. When did that happen? The lasttime she weighed herself, she had been one-hundred thirty-fivepounds. She knew she had been depressed lately, and she did nothave much of an appetite, but she could not believe that she hadlost almost twenty pounds without noticing it. It seemed odd thatno one else had noticed or commented on it either. It just showedhow no one saw Elizabeth any longer. She didn't even see herself.But nonetheless, she would need a new dress for thegala.
Her mind started racing, planning. She thoughtabout the dresses she saw stars wearing on the red carpet andin People magazine. In herhead, she wanted something slinky, sexy, yet tasteful. She imaginedherself looking glamorous and irresistible. Something that wouldmake people take notice of her for once. She wondered what kind ofstyle she would be able to pull off with her slimmer figure. Shewas standing there, in just her bra and underwear (those sensiblepale pink cotton panties) when Peter came into the bedroom. He hadalready packed his bags for his trip in the morning. Peter took hiswork clothes off and tossed them on the floor in the bathroom. Heput his sweatpants on and started to head out of the bedroom.Elizabeth was still standing there, in her bra and underwear. "I'dlike to get a new dress." Elizabeth called anxiously, hoping hewould stop and come back to the bedroom. She didn't know why sheshould feel nervous around her husband, but she was. It was if shewere a teenager again, asking some boy to prom. She leaned againstthe doorway with one arm up, trying to be seductive. She hatedhaving to ask permission to buy a dress, but Peter scrutinized thecredit card bill with a fine tooth comb each month to track herspending. Her spending of "his money" that is. A large purchaselike a dress, without prior approval, would lead to a big fight.Another one.
Peter turned around in the doorway, "Why do youneed a new dress? You have a closet full of clothes."
Elizabeth dropped her pose and looked at herfeet, "Well, um, none of them seem to fit anymore."
"You look fine," he said, seeing through her,but not seeing her. He didn't even seem to notice that she had noclothing on. He certainly didn't see the prominence of hercheekbones, the definition of her collar bones, or the front of herpelvic bones that used to be hidden under soft flesh. This was theissue. He didn't see her.
And with that, he went downstairs, and fellasleep on the couch watching baseball. Elizabeth felt like cryingherself to sleep but was too numb and dead on the inside to musterup the energy. She read a few pages of a smutty romance on here-reader and fell asleep, with her hand caressing herself. Peterwas gone in the morning when she got up.
CHAPTER TWO: October 12,2010
Elizabeth sat staring at her e-mail. She was onher lunch break, which should have been thirty minutes, was down totwenty because one of her students had had a meltdown and was notable to transition to gym. She had been putting off answering thee-mail for a week, but now her time was running out before theFriday night event. It was already Wednesday. She tried to convinceherself that the last thing she wanted to do was go to a stupidhome party, in the middle of nowhere, no less. But she hadn't seenSusan in more than two years, since she had taken another job andmoved closer to her hometown.
Susan had been Elizabeth's closest friend andconfidante, almost from
