I feel weird that I have his number in my phone once again, but we agreed before I left that it was necessary. I feel exhausted to my bones from the long day I’ve just had. I went directly from my father’s house to work, and had to play catch-up on four different projects that had been pending when my sister died.
“That just leaves Monday and Friday for me. That’s amazing,” Ethan says.
“And I think I remember you said your parents can take Riley a couple of days a week,” I point out, setting down my purse and locking the door behind me. My apartment feels weird after the long stay at my dad’s house and the hotel before it.
“Yeah, that’ll work out kind of perfectly,” Ethan agrees.
I kick off my shoes and sit down on my couch, looking around my living room. There’s a stale smell that I don’t like, and I know that in spite of how tired I am, I’m probably going to end up cleaning the whole little place before I finally get to sleep.
“How did you fare at your job?”
I have to admit that I’m kind of shocked to find out that Ethan is so stable and dependable, apparently. The major reason I’d broken up with him was that he hadn’t had any clue what he wanted to do with his life. He hadn’t had the slightest idea of what kind of career he was going to go for, and even more to the point he had lied to me about applying to schools.
“I can work my schedule around a bit,” Ethan says.
“That’s good,” I tell him.
Suddenly the whole thing seems completely overwhelming, and I’m wondering if Alexis hadn’t decided to make her request in the will more out of a desire to curse me than to actually make some kind of gesture of peace.
“I’m really grateful that you’re working your schedule the way you are,” Ethan says.
I shrug, even though, obviously, he can’t see me. “I’m a good employee, and everyone understands it’s a family thing,” I explain. My boss had been dropping hints about me settling down for months, not knowing the whole situation with my sister and me and my ex-boyfriend, so I privately kind of think she figures that Riley will somehow spur me to have what she calls a “real life.”
“Yeah, my boss was pretty chill about it. I have a suspicion that if I don’t make this work though, he’ll find someone else,” Ethan admits.
I consider that. An electrician probably has a lot more need to be on-site than a graphic designer and web developer. I can do my job pretty much anywhere I have electricity and internet access.
“We’ll make it work for her,” I say. I feel more tired than ever. “Hey, I need to take care of some things around the house and I’m beat. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I won’t be able to actually put my new schedule into effect for a week. The whole business of being out of town for so long has put a bunch of things out of joint in the office, and I need to work through the weekend and be in the office all week to get caught up.
“Oh, I totally get it. The house here’s a wreck,” Ethan says.
I can only imagine. I doubt my sister or her husband had been thinking much about cleaning the house before the car accident, and there hasn’t been much time since then for any cleaning to get done.
“I’ll get in touch with you and we’ll figure something out for next weekend,” I tell him.
Ethan agrees, and I hang up the call, letting the phone almost fall out of my hand onto the couch. I rub at my eyes and yawn, trying to work up the energy to begin cleaning. I know that if I don’t get it started, I’ll sit around feeling sorry for myself and not sleeping.
It doesn’t take as long as I thought it would, and after about an hour and a half, I’m in the shower, cleaning the residue from the different cleaners off my skin along with the dried sweat and the stress of the day. As I stand under the flow of hot water, it hits me that the biggest single problem with my apartment is something that no amount of cleaning will fix — it feels empty. Even with me in it.
I tell myself that since Riley will start being in the apartment three days a week, that won’t be an issue for very long, and then I start thinking about all that I’m going to have to do to baby-proof the place. That makes my tired brain focus on the fact that I need to find a secure hidden place to put away the couple of sex toys I own, where Riley won’t ever find them, and I have to laugh.
Chapter Eleven
Ethan
I hand Riley her doll back to keep her from fussing as we wait for Lara to get to the restaurant we agreed to meet at to discuss how we’re going to make things work between us. Part of me thinks it would be easier in some respects to have had this meeting at one of our houses, but as I can see why it would be weird for her, it’s probably for the best to meet somewhere public.
It’s been a stressful week between arranging for Riley’s care and trying to take care of things at home without Alexis there. While part of me is glad to have the excuse of a break on the weekend, a lunch with Lara, even if I know it’s going to be strained and uncomfortable, another part of me wishes that she could have already taken on her role in helping raise my daughter.
“Hey, sorry, I got caught on a
