“We should go to the park today,” Nathan comments.
I give Riley some eggs, a piece of bacon, and start cutting up a pancake for her.
“Sounds good,” Lara says.
“It’ll be good to give her some time to play around a bit outside,” I agree. Of course, taking Riley out to the park will also get all of us out of the house, and I can’t help feeling like the whole place is haunted and too tense.
Riley eats some of her bacon, and I keep an eye on her while trying to get some of my own food into my mouth. It’s going to be a weird few days, I think. I’m not even sure why I even agreed to this whole idea, except that Nathan was so set on it.
“We need to figure out what kind of schedule we’re going to go with for next week,” Lara says, barely looking up from her plate.
“Didn’t we already come up with something? I don’t remember.” My lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me.
“I just want to have an idea of how much time off to ask for, or what days to ask to work-from-home,” Lara tells us.
“Right, right. Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. I drink down another quarter of my coffee.
I realize that the meal I am eating is in many ways the same one that Alexis might have made at home. The scrambled eggs taste the same and the bacon is undercooked, the way that Alexis liked it. In some ways Lara is so much like Alexis that it’s hard for me to even think straight. However, as they were raised in the same house, they ate the same food. They are sisters. But at the same time, Lara is totally different, and I can remember exactly how different the two sisters are.
“Ethan?”
I suddenly snap forward to the present and realize that Lara is talking to me.
“I don’t remember what it is you do for a living,” Lara points out. I grin at her as best as I can. Of course she doesn’t remember. When she came home from getting her degree and found out I was with her sister, she didn’t even take any time to catch up with either of us. And then when Alexis and I announced we were going to be parents she shut us out even more, even going so far as to almost shut her own parents out for supporting us.
“I’m an electrician,” I say.
Lara’s eyes widen at that news, and I remember, vividly, the fight we’d had before we broke up. She was all set to go for her degree, setting the course for her life for the next four years, and I’d finally admitted to her that I hadn’t even applied to any schools like I’d said I would.
I hadn’t even gone for any kind of real job until Alexis had told me she was pregnant. I’d just worked temp jobs, doing stuff like construction labor and event cleanup, things like that. The fact that we were about to have a baby made me realize I needed something more permanent, and a job that would give me benefits.
“That’s really… that’s awesome,” Lara says, smiling tightly as she tries to cover for how surprised she is that I’ve amounted to anything at all.
“By now I can shift around my schedule a bit,” I tell her, thinking about it a little bit. I’ve got enough time at the company that I can request a schedule change, but it won’t be enough to cover all the time Riley’s going to need, especially until she’s in school. She’s still too young really for daycare, at least as far as I’m concerned, and as far as Alexis was concerned.
“I’ll be able to come up with something like a schedule this weekend,” Lara says. She puts her plate aside and starts helping Riley, and I feel that aching pull in my chest again. She’s so good with my daughter, and I can’t help the fact that I’m torn between being relieved that Lara’s willing to go along with Alexis’ idea, and wishing that she was still here and we didn’t have to go through with this contingency plan.
Although my marriage was not a perfect one, Alexis was a good mother.
Chapter Eight
Lara
Dad and I are waiting for Ethan to come back to the house, and I feel weirdly nervous. He took Riley to lunch with his parents while Dad and I hung out at home. In spite of the fact that Mom’s been dead for almost a year, there are still things that need to be taken care of, and I figured it would be as good a chance as I was going to get to attend to them before I had to go back home.
“I still don’t like this,” Dad says from the couch as I’m going over some more paperwork from Mom’s estate. I sigh. I’ve been waiting for this the whole time that Ethan, Riley and I have been in the house.
“It’s what Alexis wanted,” I counter. I put aside the paperwork because I know Dad isn’t going to let this rest, not without actually hashing it out again.
“Your mother’s biggest regret was that her daughters stopped speaking to each other,” Dad says.
“That’s not the point, Dad, and you know it,” I tell him firmly.
“The first time you met Riley, I knew there was a bond between the two of you, and you… you should already have a child. That child should be your daughter.”
I stare at my father in absolute shock. I shake my head. The fact that Dad could say something like this is beyond me, even if I know that it’s mostly because he’s just totally destroyed by grief.
“What are you saying?” I cross my arms, feeling weirdly defensive of a sister who a few weeks ago was not a part of my life.
“You and Alexis both
