She patted my cheek as her smile fell and the soft sweet pretty kitten disappeared, replaced by a cold, hard beauty who looked born for the spotlight. “And here I thought you just liked the idea of winning five hundred dollars.”
My mouth fell open as I reached for her, but she was too quick and she slipped out of my grip with a little wave over her shoulder. What the…
What had just happened?
Five hundred dollars. Her words registered a heartbeat too late and my stomach fell.
Oh.
Crap.
Oh freakin’ crap.
15
Rose
I didn’t see Jax leave, but I heard the auditorium door snap shut behind me as I reached Bianca. She apparently hadn’t noticed anything amiss and went right back to complaining about the lack of performances at the fundraiser.
“It’s a fair,” I reminded her for the tenth time. “You know, cotton candy, magic shows, and a dunk tank? Why would you be performing?”
She pointed behind me. “Because Jax’s band is performing. How come he gets to perform and I don’t? I should be singing.”
I stared at her for a long moment, spite overcoming reason. “You’re right. You absolutely should. Go find Jax and tell him you’re going to be performing on stage with him.”
Bianca brightened. “Really?”
I nodded. “Sure. Why not?” She had a decent singing voice, and sharing the stage with someone like Bianca would drive Jax insane, so yeah… Why not?
She ran off, presumably to catch Jax, and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Bianca kept him busy he couldn’t come back in here. He couldn’t try to resume that little ‘chat.’
And then maybe I wouldn’t cry.
I blinked now, hating the way the back of my throat ached and my eyes felt gritty and strained.
But I hadn’t cried. And I wouldn’t cry. Not now and not ever.
So he was a jerk? Big deal. I’d known that all along, hadn’t I?
I couldn’t even be angry at him. He was just being the player that he was. Everyone knew he used girls and left them without mercy. I’d heard Ashley Grant crying over him in the girls’ room just last week, and she wasn’t the only one.
But I wouldn’t be one of them. Nope. Not me.
“Are you okay?” Simone was beside me before I could blink away another wave of tears. It was self-pity, that’s all.
And divas didn’t do self-pity.
“Of course, I’m all right. I’m great. Perfect.” Or at least, I would be, just as soon as I found a monologue, mastered it, scored a scholarship one way or the other, and left this school and this town in my dust.
The thought was moderately heartening. One day in the not-too-distant future, Jax and his kisses, and his lies, and his great hands, and his low, sexy voice, and his musical talent, and his lies would all be out of my life for good.
“You don’t look great,” Simone said.
I scowled at her. “Thanks a lot.”
She tipped her head to the side. “Is it Jax? Did he do something?” She growled as she clenched her fists. “Ugh, I knew I should have told him to back off and—”
“It’s not Jax,” I said, a little too loudly. “I’m just worried about my monologue, that’s all. And don’t worry about him pursuing me. He won’t be doing that anymore.” I straightened to my full height. “I put an end to that.”
Later that night I got to work focusing on what really mattered, but it was easier said than done.
My mom was out with the new guy, thank goodness. We’d been at each other’s throats ever since she’d told me I wasn’t welcome in my own home. To be clear, it wasn’t the fact that she hadn’t wanted me that was the issue. It wasn’t like I wanted to be here while she and the new guy were getting all hot and heavy either. I mean, gross. Obviously not.
But she could have had the foresight to warn me before I’d left the house. That was the only thing that upset me. Her thoughtlessness and my inconvenience. It was her fault I’d been stuck driving home alone with a guy I detested when I was in pain and vulnerable.
Was it her fault you kissed him back?
I shushed the voice that had been nagging at me ever since that kiss. The voice that said I’d been more affected by that kiss than I wanted to admit. That maybe I’d been more hurt than I wanted to let on.
But that was different. Of course my pride was stinging after his stupid charade. And as for my mom…? I wasn’t hurt by my mom—she’d lost the ability to hurt me a long time ago. And Jax had never had the ability in the first place, so…
See?
Nothing to be upset about.
I looked down at the stack of plays sitting in front of me that I’d checked out of the library. Nothing to worry about except, you know…my future. My dreams. The fact that I was thoroughly unprepared and if my fundraiser didn’t earn me points toward the community scholarship I was one hundred percent screwed, doomed to live with my mother and her new beau for the rest of my life.
I threw myself down on the bed with a sigh.
Melodramatic? Me?
Never.
I picked up a play and then tossed it to the side. I did the same to five more before finally rolling over and turning on my laptop. I pulled up the Diva Squad chat group.
Me: SOS
I waited impatiently until some dots blinked.
Lola: What up, diva?
She added a funny GIF of Barbra Streisand singing.
Me: I need monologue help.
Lola: What have you narrowed it down to?
I eyed the stack in front of me. Narrowing it down was the hard part. Picking the one perfect monologue that would land me the scholarship was the impossible dream. I picked up the top one, a musical I’d always loved.
Me:
