“I liked Rose,” I said quietly.
Simone scoffed. “No duh.”
“No, I mean, I’d liked her back when we were dating. I liked her a lot. So much that…”
“It scared the crap out of you,” Simone filled in for me when she got impatient with my slow reveal.
“Yeah.” I blinked in surprise at her tone. “You knew?”
She tipped her head down and arched her brows. “You’re not as complicated as you’d like to believe, Jax.”
I choked on a laugh. “You’re right. I’m an idiot. I’ve always been an idiot…”
She gave me an expectant look.
“You were supposed to argue.”
“And you were supposed to admit that I’m always right.”
I gave her a mock glare. “Well, if you knew I liked her, why didn’t you clue me in?”
She rolled her eyes. “You were obviously upset when she broke up with you. I wasn’t going to rub it in.”
“But you knew,” I said.
She nodded. “I knew. You liked her so much it scared you, which was why you were going to end things…like an idiot.”
I opened my mouth. I wished I could protest. It sounded so lame when she said it like that.
She sighed. “But then she ended things first and you—”
“Acted like a jerk,” I finished.
She hitched her lips to the side. “You reacted like anyone would when they get hurt. You went on the offense and came up with a ton of reasons not to like her so the breakup didn’t hurt so badly. It’s a classic self-defense mechanism.”
I stared at her with wide eyes. “I really am out of touch with my emotions.”
She smirked. “You’re like a chapter out of Psych 101.”
I bowed my head with my hands clasped together. “Teach me, oh wise one.”
She laughed as she rested against the wall. “You know you have to make this right...” Her voice held a hint of a question like she wanted to be sure.
“Yeah, but how?” I leaned back next to her. “How do I make this right?”
“You could try telling her what you just told me,” she said.
I winced. “I already told her I liked her. She…patted my cheek.”
Simone’s grimace matched mine. “Maybe you should start with an apology.”
I nodded. “I definitely owe her an apology. There’s only one problem…”
“What’s that?” Simone asked.
“I’m pretty sure she’s never going to speak to me again.”
17
Rose
As far as avoidance went, I excelled at it. I could ghost a person better than anyone.
“Remind me again why we’re eating lunch in the auditorium?” Hannah asked.
I nodded toward the stage. “I’ve got to rehearse my new monologue during study hall. I need every second I can get.”
And also…to avoid seeing Jax. A solid week and I’d managed to evade him, even though he was clearly trying to corner me and get a moment alone.
If Broadway didn’t work out, maybe I should consider a career with the CIA. I’d already mastered costumes, makeup, and accents. And once a spy assignment was done?
I’d disappear without a trace.
No one would suspect a thing.
“So…this has nothing to do with the fact that you’re avoiding another run-in with Jax?” Hannah asked before taking a big bite of her sandwich.
Okay, fine. No one except for Hannah would suspect a thing.
“I’m not avoiding him,” I lied.
She stared at me.
“Okay, fine. I’m avoiding him. But it’s not a big deal. If I can avoid being alone with him until this weekend’s fundraiser is over, I should have no reason to be in the same room with him until graduation.” I set down my salad. “Easy peasy.”
Hannah continued to stare at me like I was speaking Greek.
“What?”
“Rose, do you really think avoidance and denial are going to solve this problem?”
“Problem? What problem?” I looked around pointedly. “I don’t see a problem.”
“Mmhmm.” Her tone said she did not believe me.
I sighed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She jabbed a finger a little too close to my eyes. “You have circles under your eyes.”
I gasped. “I do not.” I reached up and patted the admittedly puffy eye area. Sure, I hadn’t been sleeping, and maybe I’d caved and cried a little last night when I was remembering that kiss and feeling pathetically sorry for myself. But I’d caked on the concealer this morning to make up for it and not even my mother had called me out for looking bad. “Take it back,” I demanded.
Hannah rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying it to be mean. And there’s nothing to be so offended about. You don’t have to look perfect all the time—”
“Tell that to my mom,” I joked.
“I wish I could.” Hannah was not joking. She looked frighteningly serious. “She’s got her priorities all out of whack, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”
I couldn’t quite meet her gaze. I didn’t want to see her sympathy, or worse…think about the fact that she might have a point. “What do you know about my mom’s priorities?” I muttered.
As far as deflections went, it wasn’t my best. Hannah’s gaze turned knowing as she gave me a rueful smile. “I was there when your mom told you your best chance for success was to marry well, remember?” She shook her head with a grimace. “Your mom is not exactly Oprah when it comes to inspirational messages, and she definitely needs to get her head checked when it comes to you and your worth.”
I blinked as stupid tears pricked at my eyes because…really, that might have been the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Also, tears seemed to be ready to go at the drop of a hat these days, which was beyond annoying. But still… “Thanks, Hannah.”
“But I still don’t think avoiding Jax is the answer to your problems.”
I frowned. And there it was. The advice I didn’t want to hear. “You think I should talk to him?”
She shrugged. “Or hit him, if that makes you feel better.”
I let out a choked laugh. “I see.
