“Ask Gracie, yourself, she’s your girlfriend,” Kell said,ignoring Keegan. “Better yet, ask Becky. That’s the whole point.Each of you needs to clarify your feelings for Becky. As it is, shethinks we all just see her as a sex object, a conquest,” heexplained, spitting out the distasteful words.
“Speaking of clarifying feelings, are you ever going to fess upand admit that you’re in love with her?” Crispin asked, having hadit up to here with his evasiveness.
“That is none of your business!” Kell shouted.
“Umm…” Keegan cleared his throat. He couldn’t just sit by andlisten anymore. “At the risk of personal injury, may Iinterject?”
“What?” The three of them shouted in unison.
“I’m no expert. I’m just an idiot like the rest of you when itcomes to women, obviously. But I’m pretty sure arguing and pointingfingers will get you nowhere fast.”
“He’s right,” Dorian said. “We’re not helping the situation bysitting around here arguing while she’s all alone in the house.We’ve alienated her enough. What we need to do is go out of our wayto include her in every possible way.”
“Poor little dormouse. It breaks my heart to think that shepurposely avoided us thinking that we… that I… I can’t even say thewords,” Crispin said, raking his hands through his long wavytresses.
“That we’re all a bunch of horny bastards with only one thingon our minds?” Keegan finished for him.
“We’re pathetic, aren’t we?” Dorian muttered.
“Beating ourselves up over this isn’t helping either,” Crispinsaid with a sudden air of inspiration. “We should be thinking ofways to remedy this situation.”
“Crispin is right,” Kell agreed. “We can’t let her blameherself for our insecurities. She needs to feel welcome and caredfor.”
“Right, we should come up with a plan,” Dorian added. “As agroup and as individuals.”
***
“Skulking around with nothing better to do, I see,” Crispingrumbled, finding Kell staring into the fridge.
“Fuck off, you. I’m doing my job, taking stock,” Kell said overhis shoulder.
Coming to standbeside him, Crispin glanced from the troubled Goth’s face to thecontents of the particular tray he was studying. “She’s nearly outof cheese. Wouldn’t want her going hungry.” He snickered, givingKell a friendly pat on the back.
“She does enjoy her cheese.” Kell couldn’t help but chuckle ashe closed the fridge and leaned up against the counter.
“Seriously, Kell, when are you going to give up the good fightand tell her you love her?” Crispin asked, standing across fromhim.
“She knows how I feel,” Kell muttered, averting his eyes fromhis perceptive bandmate.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Crispin scoffed.
“What the fuck is it to you?”
Crispin couldonly shake his head. The last thing he wanted was to get involvedin Kell and Becky’s relationship again. He’d promised he wouldn’t.But he’d be damned if he was going to stand around watching Kellmess the little dormouse around with his stubborn evasiveness.
“What’s it to me?” Crispin repeated, aghast. “You just went offon how the poor girl is all fucked up. You want us to do our part.You know I will do what I can to reassure her that she means a hellof a lot more than a pretty little piece of ass. But what she needsmost, is for you to step up and tell her how you feel about her. Inthe end, Kell, that’s all that really matters, and you knowit.”
Coming at him,Kell grabbed Crispin by the collar and glared menacingly into hiseyes.
“Go ahead, do your worst.” Crispin challenged, staring himdown. “You know I’m right. Yet here you are, wasting your time withme when you could be upstairs, doing away with all her fears withjust three little words.”
Reluctantlyreleasing him, Kell slowly backed away and fell backwards into achair. With his head in his hands, he eventually found his voice.“What’s the point, though? I’ll only end up letting her down. I’llfuck it up, same I always have. In fact, I may have already ruinedany chance at happiness with Becky. I’ve hurt her beyondredemption. I’ve taken a sweet innocent girl and torn herapart.”
“Good lord, Kell, get over yourself.” Crispin couldn’t help butsmile at his distraught friend. “You may have hurt her feelings,but you haven’t fucked anything up. Not yet. Give Becky a littlecredit. She’s tougher than she looks, the littlescrapper.”
“That’s not the point,” Kell muttered in defeat. “I’m not goodat this relationship thing. I don’t know how to be who she wants meto be. I’ll only disappoint her in the end. I’ll let her down likeI’ve let everyone down in my life.”
“You really don’t see it, do you?” Crispin gave his head ashake. “I tell you, it’s at times like these, I’m glad I never hadparents. Your father really did a number on you.”
“Shut the fuck up, man!” Kell growled menacingly.
“No, you shut the fuck up!” Crispin said, opening the fridgedoor and pulling out Becky’s drawer, plunking it down in front ofKell. “Who is this all for?”
“Becky…” Kell said, confused.
Next Crispinreached into the breadbox, pulling out a fresh bag of crustyItalian buns. “These?”
“Those are for Becky.”
Crispin thenproceeded to pull out everything that had Becky’s name scrawled outin marker in Kell’s handwriting from the cupboards. “Who exactly isall this for? I for one did not request rainbow chocolate chipcookies!”
“What’s your point?”
“Kell, you’ve done nothing but look after this girl ever sinceshe had the misfortune of crashing into you that day! You took herin when I would have turned her away. You nursed to back to health,watched over her. You drove her all the way to Toronto when hergrandmother died. You stuck by her side when I know it must havekilled you to go through that again.”
“You and Dorian were there too!” Kell protested.
“Yes, but not in the way you were. Damn you, open your eyes! Itwas not my company she needed most. It was yours. She cried for youin her sleep. She called for you the entire time she was out ofit.”
“You see? I wasn’t there for her. I wanted to run away. Infact, I did run.”
“You came back in the end! That’s what matters here. You and Iboth remember how you took her in your arms that night. It was yourembrace she sought, no one else’s.”
“What
