“Oh.” She nodded. “It’s not a big rush, Colt.”
“Yeah, I know, but I want you to know that you’ll get what’s yours.” He glanced toward her, sliding his hand over the top of the steering wheel.
“I’m not worried about that. I know you’re honest,” she said.
“Good.” He smiled at her, then reached over and took her hand. She’d been waiting for this, much as she hated to admit it.
Jane looked out the window, watching the telephone poles whisk past. His hand was warm over hers, his fingers callused and rough but so gentle that she felt almost cradled. She should pull back, she knew it. Holding his hand felt natural, but what friends held hands while they drove? What friends reached for each other like this? They’d slipped past friendship, and now their time together was wrapping up.
Jane had wanted to be able to raise her daughters alone, have no more pressure to maintain a relationship, no more worries about a man’s happiness or what he was feeling. She just wanted to focus on what mattered most, which was bringing up her little girls right.
So how come she felt a strange, aching sadness at the thought of leaving this ranch behind? She was tempted to chalk it up to the lingering grief of losing her husband, but she knew better. This had nothing at all to do with Josh and the past. This was about Colt in the here and now.
She’d miss him. He’d sunk into a tender part of her heart when she wasn’t looking, and there seemed to be no undoing it. She’d messed this one up royally.
“Colt, have we ruined any chance of being friends?” she asked hesitantly.
“Why?” he asked.
She squeezed his hand. “This.”
“Oh, this...” He smiled faintly. “Yeah, I’ll have to cut this out, won’t I?” But he didn’t move his hand, and she didn’t move hers. “We’ll be friends. If you need anything, I’ll be here. I’ll check in on you. You’ll see.”
It sounded so comfortable, and yet she knew it couldn’t be that way. They couldn’t just torment themselves in limbo like this. Leaving the ranch and going back to their separate lives was the key here. He’d forget about her, and she’d go back to relying on herself, instead of feeling the comfortable warmth of this cowboy next to her.
“Jane?” His voice was warm and low.
“Hmm?”
“Anytime you want me to let go of your hand, just say the word.”
Jane smiled but didn’t answer. She wasn’t ready to let go. In the long run, she’d be fine. Her daughters would be provided for. They’d have a business they could all share when the girls were of age. Her daughters would be loved, fed, sheltered...and they’d have Colt and Peg, too. It might not be the big rambling family she was hoping for, but it was better than she had. She’d have to be more careful with whatever was happening here with Colt, of course.
It would be too easy to slide into a relationship that neither of them wanted. Someone was bound to get hurt. She would get hurt.
Jane pulled her hand out of his, and he froze for a moment then pulled his hand back into his own lap.
Colt didn’t say anything, either, but she’d communicated her point. It didn’t matter what they felt in the moment. She needed to stand on her own two feet. Falling in love with Colt would be the worst mistake she could ever make.
They signed the sales agreement for the cattle at the lawyer’s office. Bruce Armson met them there, and he and Colt took care of their private sale at the same time. Then Colt dropped in at the Creekside Credit Union, and Jane waited across the street at a coffee shop drinking an iced Americano. When he came out of the bank, she met him by the truck and they drove back to the ranch.
Legalities complete—or almost complete. Colt was waiting for a decision on that bridge loan so he could pay her for the cattle that were currently in her name. Then they’d be done.
Colt went back to work when they returned to the ranch, and Jane fed her daughters a snack and cuddled them to sleep for their nap. The girls were extra cuddly; Micha fell asleep with her arm wrapped tightly around Jane’s neck, and Suzie had hold of Jane’s hand so that she had to ever so carefully disentangle herself before she could get away and let the girls sleep.
Lord, please clear my mind, she prayed. Help me to focus on what is most important in my life right now. Help me to keep my priorities straight.
Josh had been difficult and complicated. If she’d met Colt first, she’d have married him in a heartbeat. She froze at that thought—was she really thinking that? But if she’d met him first, she’d still be naive and wouldn’t have children yet, either. She’d be a different woman. Now she was older, wiser and a whole lot warier of marriage and relationships.
At least she knew better.
While the girls slept, she decided to carry out some old stacks of newspaper that Peg had hauled out of some storage space. They were bundled up with twine, but still heavy. Maybe if she expended her energy on some hard work, she could get her mind back on track.
Because the memory of the gentle pressure of Colt’s hand around hers made her heart speed up, even now. And that was not helpful!
Jane hoisted the first pack of newspapers and put them down with a grunt. They were heavier than Peg had thought when she bundled them up. Jane carried them across the kitchen before dropping them to the floor in order to open the side door, then she hoisted the package again, pushed the screen open with the newspapers as she
