“The waitress seemed to be nice, though,” Sawyer said. “Unless I was missing some context...”
“Janice did seem to have changed,” Olivia replied. “She never was one of the bad ones, but she was part of it... So I’m glad she stood up to Eddie. Better late than never for some of these things.”
“So what happened exactly?” he asked. “How did this even start?”
Olivia brushed a curl off of her forehead. “There was this bush party. I was never the party-going kind of girl. I mean, if Mom had known I’d even gone, she would have marched out there and dragged me home by my ear. But I lied—said I was sleeping over at Mia’s. These guys got frisky with me, and I fought them off, told them to leave me alone. They didn’t back off until I actually screamed at them that I’d report them for attempted rape. That stopped them in their tracks, but they were mad. I’d embarrassed them in front of their buddies. And the next day at school, they were all telling these stories about how I’d gone off and done these unspeakable things with them.”
“Lying in retaliation,” Sawyer said.
“Exactly.”
“And people believed it?”
“Something that juicy spreads like wildfire. No one cares if it’s true. It made my senior year complete misery. Besides, I was never exactly popular...”
“So this wasn’t the first time you were targeted with bullying.”
“There was always someone. Isn’t that the way school goes? There were always girls who would steal my gym clothes, or call me names. I thought I’d gotten used to it. But when the rumors started senior year—I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“And Eddie...was one of the guys from the party?” he asked, his voice carefully controlled. She heard the thrum of a threat in his tone.
“No,” she said with a hoarse laugh. “He was just some idiot who heard the stories and figured he might have a chance with me.”
“So these rumors—people really latched on to them,” Sawyer said. “Didn’t your mother go to the principal or anything?”
“Of course. But none of the taunting happened in front of teachers. Bullying is subtle, and it really took a toll on me. But they figured I deserved it. I was being punished for something I’d never even done.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.”
“I survived.”
“Mostly,” he said, and he cast her a sad look.
“Mostly,” she agreed. “But I had to be strong—Mom worked really hard, my dad was gone, and Brian needed a big sister who had things under control.”
“How old was he?” he asked quietly.
“About thirteen,” she said.
She’d tried to be tough, to not care, to push her life forward after that last year of high school. But in the end, when she finally escaped, she’d left behind a brother who felt abandoned. Was there any way to have handled that differently? Not while keeping herself in one piece, there wasn’t.
“I couldn’t wait to get out of here...” She sucked in a wavering breath. “Being picked on changes how you see yourself. Those words slip beneath your skin. And by the time I left for Montana State, I wasn’t the woman I wanted to be, the one I knew I could be. But life in the city gave me this new chance to see myself differently. I didn’t second-guess every step I took. I wasn’t constantly watching over my shoulder for the next person to say something snide. It’s like I woke up.”
“You deserve that,” he said quietly.
“I think so, too.” She sighed. “But even so, I’m wondering now if I might have missed the mark with Brian. Obviously, I went wrong somewhere.”
“Didn’t he know how people were treating you?” he asked.
“He had an idea, but he wasn’t in high school yet—he didn’t see most of it. By the time he got there, I was gone...but the rumors had stuck around, and he got teased a lot. Our dad left when he was a toddler, and then I left when things got really hard here, and I guess it just impacted him differently. So when he lost his chance at an education, it all just bubbled up.”
“Coming back—is it different at all?” Sawyer looked at her hopefully.
“A bit, but not different enough. Like I said, there have already been a couple of tense interactions, and having Eddie talk to me like that...” Olivia licked her lips. “I feel pieces of myself falling away again. And I’m back to looking over my shoulder. I like myself better in Billings. I’m a whole person there.”
Sawyer nodded slowly.
“But you were always a step away from that stuff, and I liked that about you,” she added. “It’s why we became friends to begin with.”
“Huh.” He smiled. “That and my stellar personality.”
“And your taste in old cowboy movies.”
“Right.”
Olivia felt a smile tug at her lips. “You and Mia were the best of Beaut, Sawyer. You really were.”
“Not good enough to keep you around, though,” he said.
She sobered. Back then, she’d had to get out of Beaut if she was going to be able to breathe again. And when her two best friends had fallen in love, she’d known that she had to leave. They didn’t need a third wheel, and she didn’t have anything left to stay for.
“There are some wounds that don’t heal,” she said quietly. “Even returning, it’s like stepping back in time for me. I hate this. I wish I could just ignore idiots like Eddie and move on, but it’s not just the guys like him. There’s nothing for me here.”
“Is everyone that bad?” he asked.
“No, not everyone. Even back in high school there were some nice people who didn’t join in on the bullying. But silence doesn’t do much in the face of that kind of nastiness.”
“Yeah, I can see that...”
“And since I’ve come back, I saw some of my mom’s friends in church and
