‘Are you . . . are you really?’ he cries, holding up the pregnancy test with its two blue lines prominently displayed.
Kate can do no more than nod her head for fear that the pair of them will end up sobbing. They look at each other, alternating between crying and laughing, unable to say anything.
‘When did you find out?’ he asks incredulously.
‘About an hour ago,’ she says, smiling. ‘I couldn’t wait, and I didn’t want to tell you on the phone. I wanted to see your face.’
‘Well, you’re definitely not having the burrata!’
‘I know!’ She laughs. ‘I’m already missing it.’
‘I . . . I don’t even have the words,’ says Matt. ‘I truly don’t know what to say. How do you feel? Do you feel different?’
Kate had spent the past hour wondering that herself. She’d taken herself off to the toilets as soon as she got back into the office, leaning against the locked door, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She’d felt her breasts, checking for signs of tenderness, and questioning whether she could make it to the shop to get some ginger biscuits, because she was sure she felt sick. She’d read enough Mother & Baby magazines to last her a lifetime, so she knew what she was supposed to feel. It was all very well saying she was pregnant, but she doubted that she’d truly believe it until she actually felt it. Though standing there, waiting for all the symptoms to present themselves, was probably a pointless exercise.
‘I think my boobs are bigger,’ she says.
‘Already?’ says Matt, with his eyebrows raised in surprise.
Kate laughs and drops her head onto the table. ‘Oh my God, listen to me. I’m going to be one of those women, aren’t I?’
Matt looks at her expectantly.
‘I’m going to think I’m the only woman in the world to have a baby.’
He laughs. ‘I can’t even begin to imagine how high-maintenance you’re going to be.’
‘You will go and mine for coal if I develop a craving for it, won’t you?’ She can’t keep the mirth from her voice.
‘The best you’re going to get is ice cream at midnight.’
‘Häagen-Dazs?’ she questions playfully. ‘Any flavour?’
‘Within reason,’ he says, smiling. ‘I can’t believe we’ve done it. It just doesn’t feel real. Can we go around to your parents’ house tonight?’
It catches Kate off guard, her mind playing tricks on her for that split second, making her believe that her dad is still there. She’s ashamed to acknowledge how differently she feels about going once she realizes he’s not. Perhaps it’s time to start calling it her mum’s house.
‘It’s very early days,’ she says.
‘I honestly don’t think I can keep this a secret,’ says Matt, his expression struggling to hide his unadulterated joy.
For so long, Kate hadn’t even allowed herself to dream that the IVF was going to be successful, so to find herself in this position, having to decide when to share the news, is not something she’d given much thought to.
‘Can’t we just tell our mums?’ asks Matt, looking like a kid on Christmas morning.
‘It’s not really a great time at the moment,’ says Kate.
‘Because of that girl?’
Tears unexpectedly spring to Kate’s eyes and she quickly wipes them away.
‘Hey,’ says Matt, stretching across the table and taking her hand in his. ‘What’s up?’
‘I think it’s all just beginning to get a bit on top of me,’ she admits.
‘The family stuff or the pregnancy?’
‘All of it,’ cries Kate, half laughing. ‘I think the hormones are playing havoc with my emotions.’
‘You’re pregnant! We’re pregnant!’ A tear falls onto Matt’s cheek. ‘Let’s concentrate on that. I know the stuff going on with Lauren and this girl is difficult, but no matter what, it will never change your feelings for your dad.’
‘No,’ Kate sniffs. ‘It won’t.’
‘So, step away from it – don’t get involved.’
If only it were as easy as he makes it sound.
‘She came to see me,’ says Kate, looking at him.
‘Who, Lauren?’
‘No, the girl,’ says Kate. ‘She came to the office.’
‘Jesus!’ exclaims Matt. ‘How did she know where you worked?’
Kate shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly, though she feels anything but. ‘I guess Lauren told her. They clearly know each other better than I thought.’
‘What the hell are they playing at?’ says Matt, agitated.
‘I honestly don’t know,’ says Kate. ‘I’ve always thought we were a close family, but since losing Dad, it just seems that we’re all hiding secrets from each other. That’s not what normal families do.’
‘You’d be surprised,’ says Matt. ‘I think there are very few families who are what they claim to be. We all say one thing and think another.’
Do we? wonders Kate.
‘If you need to say how close you are,’ Matt goes on, ‘you’ll normally find it’s the exact opposite.’
‘Mmm, maybe,’ muses Kate.
‘And what’s your mum’s stance on all this?’
‘She’s just in denial about the whole thing.’
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this,’ says Kate. ‘But I’m going to have to prove Lauren wrong.’
‘And how are you going to do that?’
She looks at him, her jawline twitching involuntarily.
‘By getting the DNA that’s going to prove the girl isn’t who everyone thinks she is.’
17
Lauren
The nerves circling Lauren’s stomach have already seen her rush to the toilet three times and her hand shakes as she puts her mascara on, knowing that she’ll have to go at least once more before she leaves.
Her hair’s gone well, falling in silky curls on her shoulders, and she’s refraining from overdoing the make-up. Less is more, she remembers Kate saying when they were discussing the virtues of Lady Gaga’s transformation in A Star is Born.
She eyes the blue jumpsuit she’s laid on the bed and applies the same theory. Leggings would be better; give off the impression that she hasn’t tried too hard. She refuses to acknowledge that their stretch waistband might also be easier to fit her post-pregnancy belly into.
‘Mum!’ calls out Noah from downstairs. ‘Jude’s been sick.’
‘I’m coming,’ she says, quickly pulling her leggings from their hanger and stepping into them. She grabs a white
