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Copyright © 2018 by Stephanie Wittels Wachs
Cover and internal design © 2018 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover design by Jillian Rahn/Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover image © subjug/Getty Images
Cover photo courtesy of the author
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.
“You Are My Sunshine” by Jimmie Davis. Copyright © 1940 by Peer International Corporation. Copyright renewed. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Photo on p. 114 © 2014 NBCUniversal Media, LLC. Used by permission.
Email on p. 12 and tweets on p. 147 © Sarah Silverman. Used by permission.
Photo on p. 158 © Robyn Von Swank. Used by permission.
This book is a memoir. It reflects the author’s present recollections of experiences over a period of time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been re-created.
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.
Published by Sourcebooks, Inc.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Wittels Wachs, Stephanie, author.
Title: Everything is horrible and wonderful : a tragicomic memoir of genius, heroin, love, and loss / Stephanie Wittels Wachs.
Description: Naperville, Illinois : Sourcebooks, [2018]
Identifiers: LCCN 2017046007 | (hardcover : alk. paper)
Subjects: LCSH: Wittels Wachs, Stephanie. | Wittels, Harris. | Drug addicts--Family relationships--United States. | Heroin abuse--United States. | Brothers and sisters--United States.
Classification: LCC HV5805 .W58 2018 | DDC 362.29/3092273--dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017046007
Contents
Front Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Foreword
01: Day One
02: Before
03: Week One
04: Week Two
05: Week Three
06: One Month
07: Before
08: Two Months
09: Before
10: Three Months
11: Before
12: Four Months, Two Weeks, Six Days
13: Five Months
14: Before
15: Five Months, One Week, Two Days
16: Six Months, One Week
17: Before
18: Seven Months
19: Seven Months, Four Days
20: Before
21: Eulogy
22: Eight Months, Six Days
23: Nine Months
24: Nine Months, Six Days
25: Before
26: Nine Months, One Week, Four Days
27: Before
28: Before
29: Ten Months, Three Days
30: Before
31: Ten Months, Five Days
32: Before
33: Ten Months, One Week
34: Ten Months, One Week, Six Days
35: Ten Months, Two Weeks, Two Days
36: A Month Before
37: Eleven Months, Two Weeks, Five Days
38: A Week Before
39: Eleven Months, Three Weeks, Six Days
40: One Year
41: One Year, One Day
42: Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Cover
For Harris and Iris
Foreword
by Aziz Ansari
When Stephanie first told me about the idea of her book, I thought it was fantastic. All the writing she had done since her brother’s passing was so raw and honest, like her brother.
I had also found writing to be a helpful way to cope with Harris’s sudden death. Days after his passing, I wrote a long piece trying to capture my favorite personal moments with Harris. It included anecdotes that many of his friends and colleagues shared the night of his passing. These were great stories that to me really encapsulated what was so unique and charming about Harris, and also what was so sad about losing him.
As I began to write this foreword, I soon realized I would never capture what I felt as I did when I first wrote down my thoughts of Harris passing days after.
It was cathartic for me and made me feel less helpless to attempt to share what I loved so much about my friend with a larger audience and try to give others a chance to learn of Harris through small, real moments.
When Stephanie and I spoke, we quickly decided my foreword would be best used to just showcase that piece as it was first posted. We present it here unedited in its form from when I wrote it days after Harris passing. I hope this, and Stephanie’s book, help give you a better picture of the very special person we lost.
Also, it makes me laugh to imagine Harris thinking, “So you just used the same thing you wrote a while ago as a foreword?! Laaaaaaazzzzyyyyy.”
RIP Harris Wittels. 1984–2015.
There are so few people that you meet in life that give you that feeling that you’ve found a real unique, original person. Harris Wittels was one of those and we lost him yesterday. He was 30 years old. I’ve been devastated.
I’m still waiting for the other phone call to let me know that Harris is okay and this was all a horrible misunderstanding. I don’t know when my brain is going to be able to process the terrible feeling that fills my heart with dread and my eyes with tears every 20 seconds when I realize this very special person is really gone.
So, I wanted to write something to share my stories about Harris and what he meant to me.
I first knew Harris as a stand-up. I’d have him open shows quite a bit, and he was always fantastic. As his career as a writer took off, he got busy. He’d say that he didn’t have time or wasn’t working on stand-up at the time. Sadly, he had just started back working his stand-up, which made me thrilled as a fan. His stand-up, like his real-life personality, was open, honest (way more honest than how most people refer to honest in their stand-up), and hilarious.
As a writer, we worked on two films that never saw the light of day. The first was Olympic Sized Asshole. The premise was Danny McBride and I were two best friends who lived in South Carolina whose girlfriends had a three-way with a super-handsome star Olympic athlete (think Channing Tatum). We did a rough outline of
