I left work that evening without saying a word to Sridhar. I deliberately ignored him. He came running after me and said,
‘How can you leave me alone in such a state? You claim to be a friend and… Sit down here.’
I sat down without resisting.
‘I’m going to tell you everything without expecting any solutions from you. I’d be foolish to expect any. I’m only telling you because I need to pour my heart out to someone.’
The typewriters lay silent on the desks. The peon with his dragging feet, and Sule with his nutcracker, had left some time ago. It was nice to see an empty and quiet office for a change. At that moment Sridhar began to sob.
‘What happened, Sridhar? Why are you crying? Just a moment ago you were talking normally. Vedanta says…’
‘There’s always a solution in Vedanta for everything, isn’t there?’
‘Forget it. Tell me everything from the start. I’m listening.’
‘What will you be able to do, anyway? I’m the only one who can get me out of this situation.’
‘But will you tell me what’s bothering you?’
‘Let me try. See if you can think of a way out.’
‘I’m all ears.’
‘I’ve been married for ten years now.’
‘I know that.’
‘I have two sons.’
‘Yes…’
‘I’m in my thirties.’
‘What else?’
‘And now I find myself in love with another woman. Tell me. Show me a way out.’
For a moment I felt as if the ceiling fan had fallen on my head. I sat there with my eyes shut tight. The noises I had heard throughout the day repeated themselves. Sule’s nutcracker seemed to be cracking my skull instead of betelnuts. Sridhar shook me by the shoulders and shouted,
‘Tell me now! Tell me. Cat got your tongue? I told you. This is my problem and mine alone. No one can possibly give me a solution. Not even Lalita.’
‘Lalita?’
‘Yes. Mrs Lalita Dongre. Wife of a well-to-do man who owns a car. Mother of two children.’
‘You mean…’
‘Yes. She is stuck too, just like I am.’
‘I…’
‘I’m in love with her. She’s in love with me. Tell me, what should I do?’
‘It is tough,’ I said, defeated.
‘That’s what I wanted to hear. Maybe now you’ll understand a little of what I am going through.’
I was quiet. There was nothing else I could do in that situation. Sridhar said, almost to himself,
‘It’s easy. Haven’t I managed all this time? Was it really difficult? I’m sure the anxiety will fade away. I’m sure. What fun life is having at my expense! I thought I’d managed to get over my past. I thought I’d forgotten the old wounds. But no! The past is very much the present – alive and kicking. And the fragrance lingers. It’s strange.’
I shook myself out of my reverie and asked,
‘When did you meet Lalita?’
‘Last evening. After a gap of six or seven years. The moment I met her, I knew she had never left me. She had always been within me. I got married, I had children, but she had always been around, hidden for a while perhaps. I don’t know where, but she was around. After meeting her I went home to find her presence everywhere. Without realizing it, I had been living with her for the past years. The colour of the walls, the saris I’d got my wife, the bedsheets, the way I’d decorated the house, even the names of the children – Lalita was there in all of them. It dawned on me yesterday after I met her. Do you see how close I was to her, despite being far away?’
I was stunned. It was a situation I had never encountered.
‘My life has been topsy-turvy since that meeting. I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t turn back time. All these relationships were in the distant past. I understand all this. I can even convince myself for a while. But then, the emotions overwhelm me. I met Lalita yesterday and I lost myself. My body may be behaving normally, but my mind is beyond my control.’
‘It is a tough situation. And as you said, who else but you can solve this conundrum?’
‘Lalita…’ Sridhar said, without any emotion. I was taken aback. He continued,
‘I need to meet her once.’
‘Why don’t you?’
‘But where do we meet? I can’t go where she’s staying as a guest. Going to her home is out of the question. And meeting at a hotel will make us feel as if we’re committing some crime. We don’t want people to gossip. So…’
‘It’s simple. Why don’t you meet her at my place?’
‘And…’
‘And nothing else. My wife has gone to her mother’s place. I will excuse myself. You can meet her there.’
Lalita reached my house, having searched it out on her own. She saw the nameplate outside and rang the bell.
‘Please come in.’
I ushered her inside. I got her a chair to sit on. I managed to take a good look at her while her eyes were busy scanning my room. I was curious about the woman whom Sridhar was so enamoured of. I’d expected her to be a woman of exceptional beauty. My expectations were shattered. Not that she wasn’t beautiful, but she wasn’t the type that would stop a man dead in his tracks. She was slim. It was difficult to imagine how thin she might have been before marriage. She was neither fair nor dark. Her complexion was ‘wheatish’, as we love to say. She had lovely teeth. She was wearing expensive clothes. But they didn’t do much to enhance her beauty. She looked at me after scanning my room. I asked,
‘Did you have any difficulty in finding my house?’
‘Not at all. Sridhar had given me the directions and landmarks in detail over the phone.’
‘Where are you staying?’
‘On Marine Drive, with a cousin.’
She spoke freely. Quite obviously, Sridhar must have told her that I knew about their situation. Most people would have been embarrassed by that, but Lalita seemed quite at ease.
‘Where the hell is he,’ I mumbled to myself. We were in
