‘Are you going out somewhere?’
‘Yes. I’ll be back in a while. Sridhar should be coming over any moment.’
‘You don’t need to step out to give us privacy. There’s no need now for such things. There was a time when we would have wanted it. To be honest, we didn’t need to meet today. But I came because Sridhar insisted.’
‘Good that you came over. He’s been behaving strangely ever since he met you.’
‘And he is going to be even more miserable after this meeting. That’s why I was trying to avoid it. I’d been thinking since yesterday. But then he was insistent and I felt he might feel even more miserable if I refused. I came for his sake. I purposely came a little early.’
‘Why?’
‘I wanted to meet you before he arrived. I knew you’d step out to leave us alone. I wanted to speak to you.’
It wouldn’t have mattered had I stepped out. I wasn’t the least bit curious about their conversation. And they wouldn’t get another such opportunity to meet alone. I was surprised that Lalita wasn’t keen on taking advantage of it.
Sridhar came a little while later, out of breath. He sat on the bed without bothering to remove his sandals. Looking at Lalita and then at me, he said,
‘I suppose I don’t need to introduce you to each other. I got a little late. I was about to leave, but there were guests at home. And to make matters worse, the younger fellow choked on some piece of bread. It was chaos.’
He then turned to look at Lalita and added, his voice a little softer,
‘Do you realize how many obstacles come in the way of even a simple meeting like this?’
‘Why was it so urgent for us to meet?’ she asked, without showing any trace of emotion.
‘What did you say? Can you repeat that? Here I am, desperate to meet you, and…’
‘I mean precisely what I said. There’s no need to be so desperate. There’s no use either. You’re a married man now. You have a family to look after.’
She spoke calmly. Her logic was faultless. It was what I would have advised Sridhar as well. I didn’t know whether she was reconciled to her fate or whether she really believed what she said. The situation wasn’t right. One of the two was desperate, wanting to meet, wanting to keep the emotion alive, while the other person, having reconciled to the situation, kept her calm and looked down on such emotion. Sridhar said,
‘Arre, I made a mistake. I should’ve heard your words of wisdom and not troubled you. I took all the trouble to come and meet you for no reason. It would have saved your precious time. I don’t need to hear a lecture from you on wisdom, right and wrong, salvation and such. If you don’t have anything else to say, I suggest we say our goodbyes right away. One cannot force love.’
‘Oh, I see! It seems you haven’t lost your flair for drama. I was hoping you’d changed by now.’
‘It’s difficult to change one’s character, isn’t it? And look at you. You haven’t forgotten the art of trashing someone’s deepest emotions without a care either. I propose and you dispose.’ Sridhar’s voice carried a hint of anger.
‘What do you mean? Had I not cared, would I have come all the way here to meet you? My daughter had a fever yesterday, and she’s still feverish,’ Lalita said, her voice losing her earlier sharpness.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have left her alone to come here.’
Sridhar, too, retreated. He knew he had lashed out hard. They were both silent now. They refused to meet each other’s gaze. There was no doubt that their feelings, bottled up for so many years, had erupted. And they did so in a manner they had probably not expected. But one can’t predict such things. They happen naturally.
Sridhar took something out of a paper bag and tossed it towards Lalita. She grabbed it and exclaimed,
‘Aiyaa! My favourite champa flowers!’ The way she looked at Sridhar told me how much she loved him. They then began talking as if they’d never stopped meeting. They enquired about each other. But Sridhar couldn’t mask his emotions when talking about her husband. And Lalita, too, would avoid referring to Sridhar’s wife by her name. They both were curious about each other’s spouses: whether they were good-natured, whether they took care of the family and whether their tastes matched. At the same time, they both took care to be respectful and dignified about it.
The conversation continued for some time.
I couldn’t stand it. I wondered why they sat there, fooling each other and themselves. I wondered why they’d met in the first place. And further, I wondered why they had to go their different ways and then meet again in such circumstances. It was all very confusing.
They continued to chat, engrossed in each other. They didn’t even realize that I was present.
After this, I expected Sridhar to come to the office feeling a little relaxed. But no. He seemed as tense and morose as before. He seemed, in fact, even more dejected after having met her. It shouldn’t have been like this. I thought he’d be happy to know that Lalita, too, still loved him with the same fervour. If he’d found Lalita completely involved with her own family and affairs, it would be understandable if he felt bad. But that was not the case. Lalita hadn’t forgotten the world they both had created before they went their separate ways. But she seemed more mature in handling her emotions. Unlike Sridhar, who wanted to find ways to live in the past, Lalita was keen to forget the
