‘Lalita left today,’ Sridhar said, a little abruptly.
‘Gone? Where?’ I asked for the sake of making conversation.
‘She came and went … like a dream… She thanked you before leaving.’
‘It was a nice dream, wasn’t it?’
‘You can say that. She gave me strength. But I tell you, the poor soul is getting sucked into her family affairs and has no time for herself.’
‘Don’t tell me.’
‘You bet! She was sobbing like hell when I saw her off at the station.’
‘Really?’
‘I was at my wits’ end, trying to console her. Her stoic attitude yesterday was just a sham. She couldn’t keep her defences up when she reached the station. The train was about to depart, you know. I had no time to say anything. I was tempted to pull her back onto the platform. I wish I’d done that. I could’ve spent a couple of days with her and then said goodbye.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
‘What happened today would have happened two days later.’
‘Are you still clinging onto your past, despite being married and having a family?’
‘Don’t think I’m not happy in my marriage, or that I’m disappointed with my life. I am quite content. And that, precisely, is the reason for my dilemma. I can’t afford to treat either of them casually. I like my wife … I love her. But at the same time, I find I’m as attracted to Lalita as before. I want to confide in my wife. I don’t like to hide anything from her. But I can’t imagine her being okay with my being in love with two women at the same time. I won’t be able to make her understand. That’s what’s causing me stress. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have hesitated to ask Lalita to come to my place. I’m really worried for her. I didn’t get any time to speak to her. The train left so quickly…’
The discussion ended abruptly when Sridhar was summoned by the boss.
I reached office the next day, hoping to see Sridhar in a better state of mind. But to my surprise he sat there, holding his head in his hands.
‘I’ve created a mountain out of a molehill.’
‘What happened?’
‘I’d gone to see Lalita off at the station, where she started crying. I was trying to console her. As it happens, the entire episode was witnessed by my sister-in-law. Now I’m in big trouble at home.’
‘Did your wife create a scene?’
‘Yes. She raised hell. I’d already been stressed out for the last few days. And this isn’t helping. She was in no mood to listen to me.’
‘Did you try explaining the situation to her?’
‘Do you think she was in a mood to hear me out? I didn’t want to create a scene in front of the children. I tried to avoid arguing with her.’
‘Don’t worry. Things will settle down soon.’
‘She has threatened to get to the bottom of the matter within a fortnight.’
‘Does she know of your relationship with Lalita before marriage?’
‘She may have guessed. She’s not showing her cards. She’ll wait for the right moment.’ Sridhar seemed anxious.
‘Don’t worry. She won’t do anything drastic,’ I tried to console him.
A few moments passed. Sridhar extracted a few pieces of paper from his pocket and said,
‘Here. I’ve put my thoughts down.’
‘Let me see.’
I read those four or five pages. He had poured his heart out in them. I really admired him for his honesty. He had a right to love someone with all his heart. He could not help being in love with two women at the same time. He wanted to ensure that he hurt neither of them. He was capable of managing that. The letter reflected his honest thoughts. I was sure his wife would forgive him when she read the letter. I said,
‘Show it to your wife. I’m sure she’ll understand.’
‘Impossible. She might threaten to kill herself.’
‘I don’t think so. Anyone who has a heart cannot remain unaffected after reading your letter.’
‘But they’ll need to have a heart.’ Sridhar smiled bitterly.
‘Send it to Lalita. It will make her feel better,’ I said after a while.
‘And what will I do if she replies? It will create even more problems,’ Sridhar said pragmatically.
‘Ask her to reply to my address,’ I suggested.
Sridhar’s joy knew no bounds.
‘You mean it?’
‘Of course.’
‘She needs to read this. She will feel better. She was terribly disturbed when she left.’ Sridhar was in tears, recalling those moments.
‘I can understand what she must be going through, having read this. That is why I’m suggesting you send it to her,’ I said, returning his letter.
‘Shall I send it, then?’
‘Yes. Don’t wait.’
When the postman announced my name while slipping the letter through the door, I thought it might be for my wife. But it was addressed to Sridhar, care of me.
Quite obviously, it was from Lalita. Sridhar started jumping like a child when he saw it. He read it a few times before giving it to me.
‘Why should I read it?’ I asked.
‘You read mine. Now read hers.’
I started reading:
Dear Sridhar,
I’ve not been able to understand whether meeting you brought me peace of mind or disturbed me further. I’d be happy if someone could explain my state of mind to me at this moment. And then your letter arrived. The letter, the handwriting, may have been yours, but the emotions and the words are mine. I’m in a state of turmoil after reading your letter. My children come and hug me, but I am unable to feel any of it. My husband feels as if something in me has snapped. I agree with you: we need to come out of this situation as soon as possible. We both have our respective families to take care of. They depend upon us. Their happiness and welfare
