Yours,
Lalita
I handed the letter back to Sridhar.
‘So what do you say?’
‘Amazing!’
Sridhar was pleased with my response. He stared at the pages for a while, then tore them to pieces.
‘Arre, why did you do that?’
He said,
‘It may soothe my soul but it can be poison if it’s discovered. It would create havoc. It’s getting difficult at home. I feel suffocated. No one’s at peace. My sister-in-law is staying with us. I go home, sit back in a chair, close my eyes and try to keep my thoughts at bay. If it gets unbearable, I pop a painkiller or rub some balm on my forehead.’
‘Don’t keep popping pills, okay?’
‘What should I do, then? My wife has decided not to speak to me. Whom can I talk to?’
‘She may have found out some more details.’
‘Nothing has happened for her to find out.’
‘What about the episode at the railway station?’
‘That’s it. But I’m waiting for her to ask me directly. I’ll tell her everything. I’m willing to accept any punishment for that. I’ll hide my face in her lap and tell her everything. Have I not been completely loyal to her for the past seven or eight years? Have I ever behaved in a manner that should make her doubt me? Why should she give me this silent treatment?’
I could empathize with him. It wasn’t easy. Anyone else in his place would be rattled. He needed someone strong and mature to guide him. Would his wife understand that husbands often need to be treated like small children? She needed to realize that when someone suffers from a serious mental or physical trauma, they behave like children. Sridhar expected his wife to understand his human needs. It’s a tragedy if one is unable to understand one’s spouse. And the tragedy can have disastrous consequences, leading to families eventually breaking up. We see such break-ups, but we often don’t understand the reasons behind them.
I wasn’t able to understand where this was leading and what Sridhar was going through. It was all confusing. I knew the situation was not ‘normal’. I could see Sridhar going from bad to worse. One day, he said,
‘You know why I’m suffering? I want to keep my family as well as Lalita. Had my wife been a bad person, I would have left her without any hesitation. But she has been very good. I can’t find any fault with her. I can’t afford to do her any wrong. But I don’t know what to do now. I would love to keep my family, and I am living a family life right now. But I’m not sure if I can continue for long. This stress feels impossible to bear.’
The frequency of Lalita’s letters increased by the day. Earlier she would write once a week, then once every four days, and finally they started reaching me every other day. I would diligently hand them over to Sridhar at the office. He was in high spirits. He was behaving normally and seemed happy. When I asked him about the situation at home, he said,
‘How long will someone not talk? How long can someone go on objecting? I maintained my stance and, seeing that the situation was returning to normal, didn’t precipitate any discussion. Other than having our meals together and carrying out my daily chores, I’ve kept my interaction to the minimum.’
Sridhar used to say that Lalita’s letters were like a drug. And as was to be expected, Sridhar’s dependence on the drug increased and he started losing control over himself. He would lose his composure the moment he received Lalita’s letters. He had stopped showing them to me after the first few weeks. Finally, I took a bold step and, in his absence, took the letters from his desk and read them. I hadn’t realized that the spark from a few weeks ago was building up to an explosion. Lalita had clearly expressed her desire for Sridhar to divorce his wife. She too intended to divorce her husband. She wanted to set up a new home on a foundation made from the ashes of two households. It would be disastrous.
‘Saheb, a letter for you,’ the peon interrupted my thoughts.
‘Letter? For me?’
‘Yes, sir.’
I couldn’t recognize the handwriting. I tore the letter open, my curiosity increasing with every passing second. I scanned it and was shocked to see the sender’s name. It was from Sridhar’s wife!
Respected Sir,
I’m sure you will be surprised to see a letter from me. I’m writing to you as I don’t know who else to write to. My husband, your friend Sridhar, talks a lot about you. So I assume you must be very close to him. He’s been very preoccupied over the last few weeks. I’ve not seen him behave like this in all of our married life. What hurts me the most is that he hasn’t confided his problems in me. I’m sure I can help him.
