I was sitting next to Brett, an Aussie who was in Addis working for Oxfam. I was half-listening to him tell a story about smuggling liters of vodka into Afghanistan in water bottles for some Marines who traded them for boxes of American cereal, butter and Ivory soap. So far the story was hilarious and involved various run-ins with camels. He kept looking at me and winking the more ridiculous the story got. I wasn’t sure if I was up for flirting, but it felt nice to be here. Familiar. The expat scene was always sort of the same no matter where. It felt uncomplicated to be out with this group, and tonight that was a welcome feeling.
We stayed at the restaurant until almost 10:00 p.m., but eventually Bonnie and I begged off, explaining I had an early drive to the field. I got in the car with her after she said my guesthouse was on the way and she could drop me off.
We were laughing about the end of Brett’s story—which involved carrying mac and cheese out of the Kabul embassy in condom boxes—when we pulled up to the guesthouse.
“He’s so funny,” I said. “And looks like I’m home. Thanks for letting me tag along. I had a great time.”
“Oh, you’re welcome. I was glad you came out. You’d been keeping to yourself. I was wondering if you were just not taking to Addis. I was happy to at least hear from Tsehay that you’ve been running with Elias in the mornings while you’re in the field.”
I immediately tensed at the second mention of Elias and me. I tried to figure out if I’d heard irony or suggestiveness in her tone, but she seemed to just be stating a fact.
“I’ve loved my time here so far.” Elias’s face immediately came to mind. And I knew then I would never be able to think about Ethiopia without thinking about him. “And I’ve been doing stuff. Yesterday I went to the pool at the Marquis with an old friend of my mom’s.”
It was dizzying to think it had only been a day since I’d been having dinner and flirting with Elias at Saba’s house.
She clicked her tongue at that. “I forget you have a long history with this place,” she said, looking at me closely as if trying to figure out if “my history” was getting to me.
I didn’t need to get into how I’d fucked one of my co-workers, and if given the chance would totally do it again, so I settled for a something vague. “It’s been good.”
She waved me off, apparently satisfied I wasn’t miserable, and I got out of the car with a promise to check in after we arrived at the site tomorrow.
I made myself wait until I was in my room to look at my phone for any messages from Elias. All night I’d been oscillating between telling myself not to give his silence so much weight to being convinced it was a sign I should give up this thing with him because his life was complicated enough already.
And really, what future could we possibly have?
Still, I told myself, we were friends. We could stay friends.
I checked as soon as I walked into my room, and my stomach dropped when I saw there were no messages on my phone. Immediately I started trying to convince myself it meant nothing. That he was probably scrambling to get ready for the long trip after dealing with a family emergency half the weekend. I’d get a report about his dad in person when I saw him tomorrow.
Chapter 18
I walked out into the cold pre-dawn Addis morning with an intense feeling of anticipation. After weeks of seeing Elias every day, yesterday had felt too long. And if I was honest, I needed the reassurance of seeing him after the stress of his dad’s illness over the weekend. It was like I needed him to be physically there for things to be normal again.
As the white Land Cruiser pulled into the guesthouse, I waved happily at the driver, only to realize it wasn’t him. I let my hand fall at my side, trying to not jump to conclusions.
Elias wouldn’t leave me hanging without at least letting me know, right?
There were a lot of other international staff in this house who worked for Aid. It could be a driver picking up someone else. I knew Sam wasn’t coming to the field until Wednesday, so it wouldn’t be his driver. As I stared at the strange guy parking the car, my phone buzzed with a message. I pulled it out and saw there were a few texts from earlier in the morning.
I signaled to the driver to give me a second and tapped the screen of my phone. One message was from Bonnie, and the other three were all from Elias. The first one was from past midnight.
Sorry for the silence last night, konjo, my father declined after we brought him home yesterday. So we had to take him back to the hospital. When you texted me I was about to drive him there.
The second one was from 4:00 a.m. Had he gotten any sleep in the last two days?
I’m sorry, Desta. I won’t be able to drive you today, I just can’t leave my mom when things are so hectic. I hope to be able to come down midweek. Safe travels, konjo. Zebene will drive you and he’s very good. Better than me!
The disappointment was so complete I actually stumbled as I walked to the car.
I quickly tapped out a message, thanking him for letting me know and telling him I
