"Oh, I could've fucked her if I'd wanted to. I can spot an easy lay at a hundred feet." He stretched an arm out to take hold of a lock of my hair, twining it around his finger. "But I was more interested in your reaction to seeing me with Heidi."
"Get out of my way."
"Not until you admit you got jealous." He leered at me, roving his gaze up and down my body. "You and Ollie got in a big fight after that. He's jealous of me being with Heidi, and you're jealous of her for being with me. We've still got a connection, Mar-Mar. Stop fighting it."
"Oh please." I tried to squeeze around him, but he managed to bar the entire doorway with his body by spreading his legs and arms. I glowered at him again. "If you don't move on your own, I'll make you do it."
He laughed. "Little Mara thinks she's a superhero. That's so damn cute. You can't even get in an elevator unless somebody pushes the buttons for you."
"You don't know me at all."
"I'm the only one you can be with. Ollie Jackson will get sick of you eventually, and you'll realize the truth."
Fisting my hands at my sides, I gritted my teeth and hissed, "Go. To. Hell."
Then I backed up a few steps and took a running start before swinging my leg up to kick him in the gut.
Nico flew backward, landing in the middle of the hall flat on his ass.
While he lay stunned, I rushed past him and down the hall to the office door. I knocked, but he didn't answer. I turned the knob, finding it unlocked, and swung the door open.
No Ollie.
I spun around just as Nico roused from his shock.
He lifted his head to look at me. "Damn, Mara, what's gotten into you?"
"Liberation."
I stepped over him on my way to the stairs. Just as I reached the landing, Nico called out to me.
At the bottom of the staircase, I swerved left to head for the dining hall. My feet stopped moving so suddenly I almost tripped over my own toes.
There, halfway between where I stood and the door to the dining hall, Ollie leaned against the wall with a naked Heidi plastered to his body. He wore his work uniform. Heidi was puckering her lips, leaning in for a kiss, all but begging for it. He held her head in both hands like he was about to lay one on her.
My heart pounded. My head grew light and wobbly, or at least it felt that way. My hand flew to my chest all on its own accord, and I couldn't breathe.
Ollie noticed me. His eyes bulged, and he shoved Heidi away.
She tumbled over backward, landing on her rump.
"Mara," Ollie said, hurrying toward me. "It's not what it looks like."
"What's going on?"
"She was trying to kiss me, but---"
"Looked like you were about to kiss her."
"No." He bracketed my face with his hands. "I was trying to push her away. Heidi's stronger than she looks, and she was really determined. I couldn't push her away too hard or I might accidentally hurt her." He glanced over his shoulder at Heidi and winced. "Looks like I hurt her anyway."
Heidi was sitting on the floor massaging her ass.
I guessed he had needed to be more careful pushing her away, but still, he'd taken who-knew-how-long to even try it. Was I being irrational? I had no idea. Nico had made me feel like a foolish, stupid girl for so long that I didn't know if I could trust my own instincts. They urged me to believe Ollie. I'd known him for such a short time. What if I trusted the wrong man again? Gave my heart and soul to the wrong man again?
The adrenaline from my confrontation with Nico had me wired. I knew that, but I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.
Ollie gazed into my eyes with such earnestness that it made my chest ache. "I care about you, Mara, a hell of a lot. Please believe me, I don't want Heidi---or anyone else."
Heidi clambered to her feet and hugged herself, her attention on me and Ollie. She bit down on her lip so hard it turned white, veering her gaze away from us. Head bowed, she slumped her shoulders.
I had no energy left to feel bad for her. Why should I empathize with Heidi, anyway? She had repeatedly tried to steal Ollie away from me.
"Mara."
Ollie's voice drew my focus back to him.
I shut my eyes for a second, hauling in a deep breath and exhaling it slowly. When I looked at him again, I shook my head. "I can't do this. You've come to mean so much to me, Ollie, but I shouldn't have rushed into this thing with you. I'm fresh out of a bad marriage, clogged up with all these crazy anxieties and fears, and I had no right to drag you into my mess."
"What are you saying?"
Something I did not want to say but that I'd suddenly realized I needed to say---to do, for myself and for whatever this was between us. "I have to go home. Be alone, and try to figure out what I need and what I want. I haven't really lived my life on my own terms, what with my mom and Nico telling me how to behave and who to love. I get why my mom did it, and I'm not angry with her anymore. Nico's another story."
Ollie bent his head to level our gazes, his nose millimeters from mine. "What about me? Us?"
"I don't know. Honestly, I just don't know." I peeled his hands away from my face, though I loved his touch, because I had to start separating myself from him right now. "I know I love being with you, and I meant it when I said you make me feel free and wild and happier than I've ever been. But I
