He stared at me for so long I wondered if he might be considering how to phrase "fuck you, bitch" in a polite way. But no, Ollie Jackson would never say anything like that. Maybe I was saying those words to myself. How could I walk away from an amazing man? Maybe I'd lost my mind, for real, but all I knew was I had to sort out my own life before I could share it with anyone else.
Ollie kissed the tip of my nose and rested his forehead on mine. "You go home and do whatever you need to do. I'll be here, waiting for you, for as long as it takes."
I took his face in my hands and kissed him. "You're a good man, Oliver. The best I've ever known."
Then I walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ollie
Well, at least Mara hadn't said I was like her gay best friend. This time, I got dumped the old-fashioned way---face to face, with apologies and explanations. I supposed that was better than getting dumped by text message. Yeah, that happened to me too. A brush-off text was bad enough, but a brush-off text full of crying emojis was even worse. I still couldn't keep a girlfriend, no matter how solid and hot the connection was between me and the girl in question.
Mara hadn't exactly broken up with me. Had she? Sitting on a little sofa here in the entertainment room, alone---everyone else had gone to the dining hall for breakfast---I replayed in my mind everything she'd said. I remembered all of it, word for word. She needed time. She needed to live her old life for a while. She didn't expect me to wait for her, but she clearly hoped I would.
How long did it take a woman to sort out her life?
Maybe I shouldn't wait for her, but I'd meant it when I said I would. I knew we had a connection, a strong one, and it was based on more than sex. I'd gotten to know the amazing, smart, strong woman behind all those hang-ups. She'd gotten over all of that, anyway. Well, most of it. Maybe she did need to go home for a while to figure out how to be herself---her true self, the one I'd gotten to know---without the complications of hanging out at a naturist resort with me, my ex, my best friend, and a bunch of other wacky but lovable people.
And then there was Nico.
I picked up a deck of cards and shuffled it, not really paying attention to what I was doing. The sound of the shuffling cards became kind of soothing, and I relaxed back into the little sofa. Shuffle. Shuffle. I needed patience if I wanted to have Mara in my life, and I knew she was worth it. But what if she decided being with me didn't fit in her new life plan? Shuffle. Shuffle. The cards poured out of one hand into the other, over and over. Nothing I could do if Mara wanted to leave. Unless I tied her to her bed upstairs. As hot as that sounded, I kind of doubted holding Mara hostage would convince her we belonged together.
My hand slipped, and the deck of cards flew out of my hand, spraying across the table, the floor, and a couple of chairs.
Shit. Maybe I was cursed.
Peripherally, I noticed someone stepping into the doorway. When I glanced up, I groaned out a long, pathetic sigh. "What do you want now, Heidi? You've screwed up my life enough for one day."
"I'm sorry, Ollie." She shuffled up to the table, where I had my feet propped on it, and only then did I realize she was wearing clothes. "I know I screwed up everything, and I want to fix it. Or at least try to."
Could I really blame Heidi for the fact my life had been dumped into a shithole again? It wasn't fair to pile all the blame on her shoulders.
I sat up and scrubbed my face with both hands, groaning again. "I'm sorry too. You didn't help matters, but my life would suck even if you hadn't tried to lay a big, wet smacker on me in the hall."
"Mara's packing. I saw her when I walked past her room. The door was open." Heidi perched her butt on the table's edge. "I need to apologize and explain myself. It won't take long, I promise."
"Okay, fine." I made a go-on gesture. "Get it over with."
"I need to say this to Mara too." Heidi got up, grabbed my hand, and tugged. "Please, Ollie, come with me. I won't do anything crazy, I swear. But we need to go upstairs to catch Mara before she leaves."
As much as I did not want to do it, I let Heidi lead me upstairs. Mara was just zipping up her suitcase. By the looks of things, she'd already packed her multitude of other bags. The dresser drawers hung open, empty.
Heidi and I stopped a few feet inside the doorway.
Mara swiveled her head to look at us, her focus veering down to my hand which Heidi still held and then up to my face. Her lips tightened.
I ripped my hand free of Heidi's. "She grabbed my hand to drag me upstairs, that's all. I am not having sex with Heidi."
"Yes, I can see that." Mara's lips twisted to one side, then the other, like she was trying not to smile. "At least she's not super-glued to your body anymore."
She was teasing me, right? That had to be a good sign.
Heidi stepped between me and Mara. "I need to apologize to both of you. I've done stupid, awful things. I'm so sorry, and you have my word I will never bother either of you again. Maybe someday we can be friends, Mara, but I'll understand if that's never possible. And Ollie,
