His mom’s face blanched at his words. Her guarded expression fell and pain painted a new expression. One look at her face had him wishing the fake smile was pasted back there.
“Jason, I need to ask your forgiveness, but this is really difficult for me to tell, so you’ll have to let me finish before you ask questions.”
Jason nodded in agreement.
“I’ve failed miserably.”
Jason jumped up with a no on his lips, but she stilled him with the wave of her hand. “Sit, Jason. It’s time for truth.” She patted the sofa beside her.
“I let you, your brother, and the rest of the world believe a lie … because I wanted to cover up the truth. This baby has a different father than both you and your brother.” She let the truth sink in.
“What? Mom, you can’t be serious. Who’s the father?”
A light dawned inside his head. “Dr. Carmichael?”
“Yes.”
He felt like someone punched him in the stomach good and hard. “But … but, Mom, it would’ve had to have been …?”
Jason could tell by the flush of red to her cheeks she was embarrassed.
“Jason, I’m eight months pregnant. I became pregnant a month after your father’s death. I was lonely and distressed, but … oh no, I don’t want to cover my sin with excuses any longer. Please forgive me, Jason.” She buried her face in her hands.
She sat beside him weeping softly, while he processed her shocking revelation. His mother was not a saint. She was a real person with failures, and she needed a hug. His arms encircled her, and they stayed that way for a long moment. Though disappointed, Jason thought of his mother as a woman. Compassion flooded his soul as he realized his mother’s life had been filled with much more sorrow than happiness.
Anna drew back. “Jason, you’re such a gift to me. The rest of the world will not be so kind, of that I’m sure. I can tell by that hug, you’ve somehow forgiven me already.”
“Yeah, Mom … your life has been so tough—” He shook his head and ran a hand through his wiry hair that sprang back into place. “Life isn’t fair, is it Mom? Some people get no breaks.”
A few moments lapsed as they both sat in silence. Suddenly, Jason snorted.
“Oh, Mom, this one will go down big at church, and Mark is going to blow a gasket, not to mention Gramps and Gram Clarke.” He whistled between his teeth. “There’s a reason I felt compelled to visit you, Mom. I’ll be praying up a storm.”
“Are you trying to cheer me up, Jason? Because ice cream would work a lot better.”
They both chuckled before Anna grew serious once again.
“Jason, I didn’t set out to lie about this, but when everyone assumed the baby was your father’s, all my shame was covered. A way of escape presented itself, and I chose a wrong path. I know that what I face ahead is considerably worse than had I spoken truth the moment Pastor Harry started rattling on about a modern-day miracle and Steven’s baby.”
Jason probed, “But, Mom, what made you decide to tell the truth now?”
“I wish I could say my good conscience kicked in, but truthfully it was Dr. Carmichael.”
“Why did he let it go so long, before demanding you deal with it?”
His Mom broke out in a watery smile.
“What?”
She reached up and smoothed the lines from his brow.
“I’m doing my Grinch impersonation again, aren’t I?”
“Jason, you’re such a joy. I remember from the time you were two, you had us in stitches with your scrunched-up face, eyebrows knit together like two furry caterpillars doing a dance and furrows in your brow the size of an old man … not to mention the Grinch expression that still makes me smile.”
“Well, if it makes you smile …” He deliberately made his best possible expression, and they laughed. “Happy to give a little comic relief considering—what’s ahead.”
“I don’t look forward to it, but for the first time in months I feel at peace.”
“How long has your relationship with the doctor been going on?”
She exhaled slowly. “Dr. Carmichael and I have had a friendship that goes way back, probably more of a friendship than I should’ve allowed. This made me vulnerable when he came calling a month after your dad’s death. I cut off the relationship after that one night, other than to tell him what a mistake it had been, so he didn’t know I was pregnant.
“But God wasn’t happy with the fact that the world believed a lie, because lo and behold, Dr. Carmichael suddenly gets the urge to go to church. What a surprise I must’ve been with my stomach sticking out like a beach ball. Then when he heard the pastor pray for the safe delivery of your father’s baby, he bolted from the church in absolute shock and fury, and I can’t blame him.”
She shook her head.
“Do you love him, Mom?”
Jason noticed the flush that immediately came to his mom’s cheeks.
“Oh, Jason, I don’t know what I feel. He’s been a good friend over the years and part of that bled into that night. He was … is an attractive man, and it would be easy to make decisions based on infatuation, loneliness, or this baby.” She smoothed a hand over her large tummy. “But those would be all the wrong reasons, not to mention the fact he’s not a believer. I’ve done many things wrong in the past eight months, Jason, and I don’t want to run ahead of God or outside his will ever again.”
“And what I saw today—”
“Was no more than Matt feeling the baby’s movement. He wants to be a father to this child … to his child, and I don’t know what that looks like at the moment. He arrived unannounced today, just as you did, and I’m faced with decisions I have no answers for. I’m going to need a lot of wisdom, and I’ve had so
