“What?” he asked.
She didn’t answer, but looked stricken with fear. She averted her gaze as if trying to hide something.
“Okay, sweetie pie,” he said to Melody. “Your mama has a secret that she doesn’t want your daddy to know. But guess what. I’m going to rock you to sleep now and give her time to think. Then I’m going to demand an answer. What do you think about that?” Melody cooed in delight as if she understood every word. He watched Anna closely, her skin blanched white and she wouldn’t make eye contact. What was going on in that pretty head of hers?
All while he rocked Melody in the nursery, he prayed. The sudden urge to push Anna for an answer to her unusual reaction grew powerful. He tucked the sleeping Melody in her crib, covered her with a light blanket, and crept out the door.
He found Anna sitting pretty in the middle of the swing on the back porch. Normally, he’d avoid joining her on a loveseat at all cost, but tonight it was as if God wanted him up close and personal. He boldly squeezed in beside her, and she made room. He placed his arm behind her shoulder on the back of the swing but didn’t touch her.
Instead of his usual conversation on safe subjects like the weather, work, or her day, he got right to the point. “What’s got you tied in knots tonight?” He shifted his body to better see her face.
“Now don’t go looking shocked. You’d never make a good card player. Your expression is a dead giveaway.”
Raw fear flickered in her eyes, and she began to fidget. Matt noticed how she scooted to the far corner of the swing to place distance between them. He wanted to put her at ease and tell her not to worry about whatever it was she didn’t want to say, but felt compelled to sit silent. A long moment passed.
“It hit me tonight. Something I’ve not made right … and yet it terrifies me to do so.”
Matt watched her curl her bare feet beneath her and crisscross her legs. She looked vulnerable, sweet, and beautiful all at the same time. It took all he had not to gather her in his arms that very second. Instead, he took a deep breath and asked. “Does this something involve me?”
“Yes, only you.”
“Then that shouldn’t be too hard. You know me. I’m easy to get along with.”
“Matt, no joke, this is really difficult.”
Matt watched as she clasped her hands together to still the shake that had taken over.
“Earlier when I watched you with Melody, I thought how right you two looked together. I got to thinking how much Melody would have missed if you hadn’t found out the truth. That triggered a memory … a lie I told to ensure you would stay away. I remembered some undone business, and I know God wants me to ask your forgiveness, but that means telling the truth. I’m not sure I’m ready, and yet … the Spirit of God thinks I am.”
Matt’s heart hammered within his chest.
“I told you all those months ago, that when we were together … that night we made love …” She stammered over her words and buried her face in her hands.
He waited. Hope and dismay jockeyed for position.
She looked up and their gazes locked. “I told you that I was thinking of Steven both that night we were together and when you kissed me again that evening in the kitchen and I responded. In both cases … I lied.”
Her cheeks flamed red, and Matt could see her embarrassment.
“I’m sorry.”
He stood quickly causing the swing to rock erratically and almost sent Anna flying, but he didn’t notice. He stepped out onto the porch and leaned against the rail with his back to her. He slowly exhaled the air that had been caught in his lungs at her admission. A wide smile split across his face as he ran a hand through his hair.
The fact she lied to me means only one thing … She’s as affected by me as much as I am by her.
Hope and possibility made his heart slam against his chest.
“Matt?” Her voice sounded fragile. “Matt, do you forgive me?”
He wasn’t sure how to respond. He desired to take her in his arms and kiss her openly just to feel the reaction it produced but what a dangerous an idea. He craved the sensation that would cause her to unravel, unglue, come undone. But he knew enough now to understand how unwise that decision would be. In fact, he was sure the pent-up passion he felt would probably overwhelm them both.
A soft hand touched his shoulder, and he felt the warmth of her presence behind him. “Matt, please talk to me.”
He turned slowly. One look and he fell into the glow of her chocolate brown eyes. He ached to touch her, to feel her, to get lost in her love, but instead he distanced himself.
That one step back caused her expression to change. A troubled light soaked her eyes in pain.
“I understand.” She turned abruptly and moved toward the door.
Instinct took over and he lurched forward to grab her. “No, you don’t understand.”
He eased her body around to face him and found the closeness intoxicating. Before he could stop himself, he wrapped her in his arms and rained kisses from her forehead to each closed eyelid, down her tiny nose to her waiting lips. With aching gentleness, he tasted the nectar that haunted him day and night. She opened to him like a tulip in the warmth of the sun. He touched and savored the joy of togetherness after months apart. His senses sprang awake, alive, aware. Passion thrummed through his limbs.
She
