The girls had bounced back easily. Almost too easily. I knew there would be lasting fears that stemmed from what happened today. Sierra had mentioned that she would like to take the girls to see the counselor at Kari’s place and I agreed that both of them should go. I also told Sierra I’d like her to talk to the lady at least once or twice, too.
But my Leia, she might need the counselor more than ever now when she found out that the little baby she had rescued was really her niece.
◆◆◆
I walked with Susan toward the corral in silence. I didn’t know what to say to her. She had been a year ahead of me in school, so we were acquaintances when we were kids, but then her mom got caught and both of our lives exploded.
“I blamed you and those other boys for a long time,” Susan finally broke the silence. “I was so young and stupid. I couldn’t believe that my mom would do that. My dad was such a good man and she was my mom, you know?”
I shrugged one shoulder, at a loss for words.
“But as I got older and my dad remarried, my stepmom showed me what a mom was supposed to be like. That’s when I realized just how fucked up my mom was. Not just how fucked up she was for what she did to you and those other guys, but how fucked up she was as a parent,” Susan shook her head and smiled at me. “My dad finally realized how hard it was for us to accept and my mom, well, stepmom, convinced him that we had been traumatized by her, too. She got him to take us to counseling and that helped.”
“That took 11 years?”
“Honestly, I never thought of your daughter as something real. I can’t explain it - maybe because I never saw my mom pregnant or because I never saw the baby. You were just a guy to me - the cute guy who played baseball with my brother and his friends. I couldn’t really put it together that you were a father.”
“I imagine it’s not something your dad wanted to think about either. I mean she did cheat on him. A lot.”
“My dad found out years later that she had done the same thing at the other school where she’d worked. The kid was older than you guys - he was 16. She lost her job, but never got in trouble for it. My dad just believed her when she said her position was cut. Then we moved and that’s when she started with you guys.”
“I’m sorry she fucked up your life,” I told Susan honestly.
“I’m sorry she fucked up yours.”
“It was hard, I’ll admit. Leia and I kind of grew up together, you know?” I laughed. “But now, I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“You seem like you’ve become a really good man, Rowdy.”
“I’d like to think so.”
We had been standing at the corral watching the girls through most of our conversation and had barely looked at each other. Susan put her hand on my arm and I turned to face her.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to get to know Leia and have my daughter grow up knowing that she’s her aunt.”
“It’s up to her. All I ask is that you don’t push - let her make her own choices. She’s a smart girl and she’ll work it out in her own time. She might have some feelings against you because she has always sort of felt like a dirty secret, no matter what I try and tell her.”
“I’m glad Beverly is dead, Rowdy.”
“I am, too.”
18.
SIERRA
“Did you mean what you said on the phone that day?”
“What?” I looked up from my study guide, not exactly sure what Rowdy had asked me.
“Nothing,” Rowdy smiled, but I could see that it was forced.
I sat there in the recliner he had bought just for me to sit in while I read as he did his sculpting. I laid my book down in my lap and watched him for a few minutes, piecing together what he had said while I had been immersed in my book.
I finally realized he was talking about that day when I told him I loved him.
“I meant it. That wasn’t when I realized it, though.”
He turned toward me, expressionless, and I stared into his beautiful eyes. His hair was pulled back into a knot at the back of his head and watching him put it up that way every time he worked at his bench was easily one of the top ten sexiest things I’d ever seen.
“I realized it just a little bit in Marcus’s office when you blurted out ‘marry me’ and then a little bit more came through the crack in my heart when you scooped my daughter up right along with yours and tickled her in the kitchen. You kissed her on the top of her head just like you do to Leia. Then there was that one time that Lexi wasn’t feeling well, so you had her sit between your legs on the floor. You rubbed her scalp and played with her hair until she fell asleep and then you let her head rest on your knee while you finished your movie. I watched you pick her up and carry her to her room. I followed you in there and leaned against the door as you tucked her in and made sure the blanket was wrapped around her feet so the monster under her bed wouldn’t pull her under. Then you kissed her on the forehead and brushed her hair away from her face like it was something you did for her every single night since
