I lift his head up to my lips and kiss him on the mouth. I bury my hands in his hair. His hands remain at my sides, but his lips move along with mine. I feel him push into me.
I hear footsteps outside the door.
“What’s that?” I ask, pushing him away.
“Nothing,” he mumbles and starts to kiss my neck again. He gives me light little kisses along my collarbone, driving me wild, but something at the door is worrying me.
“What if Juliet comes back?” I ask.
“She won’t,” he says without stopping. “She’s on her date.”
“So, who’s that? Outside?” I ask.
“Shhh.” He puts his finger across my lips. “That’s just Dylan and Peyton. They won’t come in.”
“How do you know?” I ask. I don’t know what’s worrying me, but something is making me stall. I’m trying to buy time. Why?
“They won’t come in because I never intrude on them. They owe me.”
I know he’s right. I take a deep breath. Just relax. I’ve done this a million times. We’ve done this a million times. This is Hudson. You love him and he loves you.
As Hudson’s mouth makes its way from my collarbone further down to my breasts and then around my ribs and down to my belly button, I start to relax. All thoughts of intruders suddenly vanish and I’m calm.
Wordlessly, Hudson pulls off my shirt and undoes my bra. He stands above me as he pulls off his own shirt. He isn’t flexing, but the muscles in his stomach still make a perfect six-pack.
“You’re so hot,” I say, running my fingers over each pack.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he says, snuggling out of his jeans. He kisses me lightly along my hipbones and tugs at the top of my leggings. I’m getting warm in between my legs. I lift up my butt to help him pull them off me. With one quick swoosh, I’m suddenly completely naked. No leggings, panties, or socks.
Hudson presses his body close to mine.
“You feel nice,” he mumbles as we start to move in unison. I thread my fingers into his hair. His thick hair is so silky that my fingers can’t seem to find traction.
He kisses me behind the ear as he finds his way into me. We fumble around at first, trying to find the right pace but quickly start to move together. Energy builds up within me. I let out a moan.
“I love you,” he moans into my ear.
“I love you, too,” I whisper as he sends me over the edge. I curl my toes as warmth pulsates throughout my body. I close my eyes and disappear into another world. Hudson moves faster and faster until he collapses on top of me.
My mind goes blank as my body goes limp. I can’t feel the lower half of my body.
“Thank you,” he says, sighing and rolling over next to me.
“No, thank you,” I mumble.
9
We lie quietly next to each other for some time before either of us speaks again. It’s still hard to believe that I’m lying here, next to him.
Hudson Hilton.
The guy who was my best friend for many years until one afternoon when he kissed me and we became more than friends. In high school, I thought he was the love of my life. When his family moved up to the Bay Area in the beginning of our senior year, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. He promised me that we would make it. We would go away to college together and we would be together forever. After we finally made it through that year apart, when we got into the same school and almost had everything we had ever dreamed of, we broke up. No, that’s not true. I say that to make myself feel better, but it was really he who broke up with me. The world turned to black and there was nothing I could do to bring life into it. Then things got worse. I came to college thinking I would start over, but found out that he was going to be my roommate.
“Isn’t this crazy?” I ask. Neither of us bothers to put on any clothes, but I pull the comforter up. It’s getting cold and the radiator is all the way across the room.
“What?” he asks. “Us?”
I nod.
“Yeah, it is,” Hudson says with a smile. He rolls over to his side and props his head up with his hand.
“I don’t have any regrets, do you?”
I shake my head. A part of me wishes that he had regretted ever breaking up with me. Another part thinks that maybe that whole thing made us stronger. We both learned something. We both dated people, experienced what it would be like to be out there. Seeing other people.
“I don’t mean to bring up something bad,” he says, choosing his words carefully. “But I sort of wish that we never broke up last summer. It was stupid.”
I shrug and flash him a smile. It makes me so happy to hear that, I feel myself beaming.
“Why are you grinning like that?” he asks.
“Why do you think?” I ask.
“Because you were right?” he asks.
“I guess. Though those are your words, not mine.”
He rolls his eyes and kisses me on the nose. I snuggle up in his armpit and close my eyes. I love the way things are now. Different, new, exciting. In ways that I’d never imagined possible.
Hudson and I spend the weekend before classes start hanging out. We get our textbooks, go out for brunch, walk around Riverside Park, and go shopping in Chinatown. Mostly, we laugh. We laugh like we haven’t laughed in a long time. Like old friends who are just catching up. Everything and every story is exciting. We reminisce about high school. About sneaking out of gym class to go out to lunch. About making out in the church’s parking lot
