“Do you like it?” I ask. “Do you think it’s something you want to do in the future?”
“I don’t know,” Hudson says, looking up at the ceiling. I can tell he’s really thinking about what I had asked.
“I like the internship. I mean, I really think I’m learning a lot,” he finally says. “I definitely want to do something with finance or investment banking in the future, I think. I’m just not sure about this particular job. Like the one that Kathryn has.”
Agh, Kathryn. Why did he have to bring her up?
“So, how’s Kathryn? Did anything happen between you two?” I ask cautiously. I don’t want to seem too jealous or concerned. Just like I’m trying to make normal conversation.
“No.” He shakes his head definitively. “I’m sorry again about before.”
“What? What do you have to be sorry about?” I ask.
“Well, you know, I wasn’t entirely truthful back then. I mean, I knew that she liked me. Of course, I did. She told me. Even before she kissed me at the bar that time. I told her about you. But…I guess I should’ve been even clearer.”
I nod. I feel very guilty. I need to tell him the truth. I know that. I owe him the truth, but now I’m even more scared than I was before. Now, I’m terrified. Even a few hours ago, he was sort of my ex. Now he’s back to being my boyfriend. I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders, and it’s getting heavier and heavier by the minute.
“Alice?” Hudson turns to me.
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay? You’re sort of spacing out for a bit.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say, nodding. “It has been kind of a long day.”
“Okay.” He springs out of bed. “Why don’t you relax for a bit while I try to put a dent into that Macroeconomics problem set and try being the operative word, of course.”
I smile and nod. I watch him get dressed. He gives me a peck on the cheek and leaves the room.
I am still lying naked in bed and listening to music when I hear Hudson call my name from the living room. It has only been ten minutes since he left, but I suddenly realize that I’m in Hudson’s room and Dylan might be back.
“Alice!” Hudson yells.
“What?” I call back, scrambling to put on my clothes. I manage to throw on my sweater and underwear, but I struggle with the jeans. Why did I have to wear skinny jeans today, of all days?
“Alice!”
“I’m coming!”
I roll my bra into a little wad and hide it in my bag. Why can’t he just come in here? Why is he yelling like this?
When I walk into the living room, I see Hudson pacing back and forth.
“Hudson?” I ask.
He stops dead in his tracks. When he turns around, I see an expression on his face that I have never seen before. His eyes are empty, his lips are pursed, and his cheeks are devoid of color. I think that someone has died.
“What’s wrong?” I run up to him. “Are you okay? What happened?”
I try to put my arms around him, but he shrugs me off.
“What’s this?” he says, waving something in my face. I take it out of his hand. It’s a postcard with a picture of a casino from Atlantic City. Oh, wait. Not just some casino. The casino!
“I don’t know,” I say, putting on the most innocent look I can. “What is it?”
“Don’t bullshit me, Alice,” Hudson says, shaking his head. He hands me the postcard. I flip it around and see it. Those words. They will probably stay with me always.
Dear Mr. Dylan and Mrs. Alice Summers Worthington,
Congratulations on your recent wedding. It was a pleasure to share this momentous occasion with you. We hope that you will join us again in the near future. As a thank you, we’d like to extend an invitation to you to stay at our hotel for a reduced price.
There is more to it than that. The postcard offered us a 50% discount on all future bookings for the year, but, frankly, I stopped reading carefully after I saw the words Mrs. Worthington and wedding.
“Alice, what’s going on?” Hudson asks, taking the postcard out of my hand.
23
I take a deep breath. This is my chance. Hudson knows and he doesn’t really even know he knows.
“I have something to tell you,” I say. “Can you sit down?”
I can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t mad yet. Not even angry. Instead, he has this vacant look in his eyes. Like soldiers do in war movies, right after their friends get blown up. Shell-shocked.
Hudson sits down and I tell him everything. I don’t even try to sugar coat it. I just tell him the truth. Exactly as it happened. He listens quietly and doesn’t interrupt me once.
“I don’t understand,” he says after I’m done. “You’re actually married?”
I hate that word. It makes me sound so old and worldly and stupid at the same time.
I nod. “Yes, technically, but hopefully not for long.”
“To my best friend, Dylan?”
I didn’t know that they were best friends now. That’s news to me. I nod.
“To our roommate, Dylan?” Hudson asks. I nod again.
“And you two, what, slept together? On top of that?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say after a moment. “I honestly don’t know. Maybe.”
“Oh my God, Alice! Oh my God! What were you thinking?” He gets up and starts pacing around the room.
I want him to sit down, but I’m afraid to reach out to him. Afraid that he’ll push me away and never talk to me again.
“I wasn’t,” I say. “I was really upset about us. I wanted to let out some steam. So, we all drank a little too much and I got really drunk.”
“Yeah, everyone drank too much, but it was only you and Dylan who got married and slept together. Why? Why did you
