“More time.” Her voice comes deathly quietly. “They’re gonna add more fucking time to my already long-ass sentence because I took the fall for you.”
She WHAT?
My jaw nearly tumbles to the floor, knees threatening to buckle as the gravity of that statement consumes me. Those damned tears hadn’t stopped flowing, but they’re really gushing down my face like twin waterfalls now. “Why would you do that? Why would you tell them it was yours? You should’ve told them—”
“Told them what? That it was yours instead when you’ve got early release on the table? You know I don’t snitch, Benni, ever,” she tosses back, eyes narrowing as they snap right on me, and while I know that’s true—it’s one of the things we bonded over when we first met—I’m still astonished.
Choking on more guilt than I can swallow.
“But why would you tell them it was yours? I don’t understand—”
“I didn’t,” she snaps, effectively cutting me off again. “I didn’t say shit. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Given where you had it stashed, it looked like it was mine.”
My eyes widen in realization. The bunk post—that’s why Mack didn’t write it off as mine. “Lena, I… I didn’t even think about—”
“Yeah, no shit, puta. You didn’t think about anyone but yourself. Now I’m the one that’s gonna pay the price while you get to walk free!” Lunging for me, she shoves me back, hard.
Hard enough that I stumble when I hadn’t even seen it coming.
I don’t retaliate, though. I know I deserve that and so much more. “No, I won’t let that happen. I’ll come clean right now, tell them it was mine. I’ll fix this, Lena, I swear to you. I’m not gonna let you go down for something you had nothing to do—”
Lena growls in frustration, and before I can dodge, her fist makes contact with my nose, a move I should have seen coming after that shove. White speckles dot my vision as my entire face sings from the force of her strike.
“I wanna hate you so bad!” She punches me again, intensifying the effects I’m already feeling. “But I can’t, and that’s what makes me maddest!”
Another blow follows, this time right beneath my eye, and I take it. I take each one ‘cause I truly do deserve it.
But that’s not what Selena wants...
“Fight back, goddammit!” Another rough shove sends me flying into the wall beneath the small window. “Fucking fight me back, Benni!”
I won’t, though. Not with Lena. If it were any other bitch in here, even the others I care about fiercely, I’d already have them on the ground. But I can’t with her, and I definitely can’t when I know I’m in the wrong. I’m the reason she was thrown in the hole. I’m the reason she’s getting more time. Clearly, I’m a shit friend as it is. No need to add more faults and flaws to the list that makes up Benita Adriana Villanueva.
“Why the fuck won’t you fight me?” Her fingers clench around my hair, drawing a hiss between my teeth as her arm presses into my throat. “Why?”
“Because what kind of friend would I be if I did? I know I’m in the wrong, Lena, but I swear to you, I’ll fix it.”
Lena holds my stare for several moments, lip curling in a feral fashion, her breathing harsh. I’m hoping she can see the apology in my eyes, but it’s either not obvious enough despite all I’ve tried to say, or she doesn’t care.
I’m going with the latter.
In the same lithe speed as the first, she slams me three consecutive times, jamming the words down my throat as blood begins to pour from my nose. The pain is indescribable, and it’s only then that instincts kick in, alarm bells blaring for me to protect myself regardless of who she is and what she means to me. If I don’t, she’ll knock me out, and with her history…
Well, let’s just say that wouldn’t fare too well for me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, fisting the front of her shirt to reclaim some control. “I’m fucking sorry, but you asked for it.” And then I wail on her, over and over again, each blow harder than the last.
The arm she’d lodged against my throat slips away, and the next thing I know, I’m slamming her back into the wall beside the desk. I’ve drawn blood already, too, feel it clinging to my knuckles, splattering onto my uniform every time my fist connects with her face.
“I’m fucking sorry!” I’m yelling it like a lunatic, my voice garbled as every emotion possible races through me. “I’m so fucking sorry!”
Somewhere in the background, I can just make out the sounds of other inmates belting out about the fight, and within minutes, maybe even seconds, I’m being pulled off my best friend. My chest heaves wildly from exertion as I watch CO Jordan detain Lena without any issue. She’s bleeding from both nostrils, head bobbing as she attempts to keep it upright. I can see his mouth moving as he says something to her, but I can’t hear the words. All I can hear is the roaring in my ears, combined with my erratic breaths. I can’t even hear the chaos of the block as I’m dragged through to the gate, can barely see it behind the tears still very much flowing. But it’s who’s dragging me that’ll stick with me most once I’m alone with my thoughts in the hole.
A disappointed and thoroughly destroyed Andrés.
♫ lovely - Billie Eilish & Khalid
Time doesn’t exist in the hole.
After the first day or two, you start to lose track. It’s impossible not to. There’s no window to clue you in like a normal cell in general population. The only tell is what type of meal you receive through the small slot in the solid metal door. I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve been in here if you paid me. Based on the swelling
